Chapter 19
“Holy shit,” I whined as I tried to open my eyes. I put my hand on my forehead to try and stop the excessive pounding. I rolled over and stared at the perfectly made side of the bed. I didn’t remember a thing about last night after I blew out my candles. It was obvious that Ian didn’t sleep with me last night. I looked over at the clock and saw that it was noon. When I sat up, the room spun and I reeked of alcohol. The smell was making me nauseous as I stumbled into the bathroom and turned on the shower. As I sat on the shower floor, the hot water poured down on me. I scrubbed my body with some magnolia-scented shower gel and then washed my hair. I was feeling somewhat better except for the pounding going on in my head. I headed down to the kitchen and looked at the empty coffee pot. Shit.
“Good afternoon, Rory. Are you looking for coffee?”
“Yes, Charles. I need it now.” I sighed as I rested my arms across the counter.
“I’ll make you a pot. Shall I make it extra strong?”
“Please, Charles.”
He walked over to the cupboard and took out a bottle of pills. He shook two of them in his hand and handed them to me with a glass of water.
“Take these and you’ll start feeling like your old self again real soon.”
“What are these?” I asked as I looked at them.
“Hangover pills. Ian brought them back with him from Indonesia. They aren’t sold here in the United States.”
I shoved the pills in my mouth and chased them down with water. I sat down at the table and put my head down. Just as I closed my eyes, I head Ian’s voice.
“Did you give her the pills, Charles?” he asked as he walked into the kitchen.
“She just took them,” he replied.
“Are you okay?” Ian said as he rubbed my back.
“No.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have drunk so much last night.”
I didn’t respond. He obviously didn’t realize that he was the cause of my drinking binge. “Leave me alone, Ian.”
“That’s exactly what you said last night when I was carrying you upstairs to bed, after I picked you up from the beach where you passed out.”
I slowly lifted my head and with one open eye, I looked at him. “I passed out?”
“You sure did.”
Charles set my coffee on the table and I immediately grabbed it. “Thank you, Charles.”
“You’re welcome, Rory. I hope you feel better soon.”
I looked at Ian as I took a sip of the hot, strong black coffee. “When I woke up this morning, the other side of the bed was still made. You didn’t stay with me last night?”
“No. You were too drunk and, to be honest, you smelled.”
A*shole. I couldn’t believe he’d just said that. “Thanks, Ian,” I said with knitted eyebrows.
“Sorry, sweetheart, but it’s the truth.” He grinned.
“Are we doing anything today?” I asked like an idiot, having no clue where the hell those words even came from.
Ian looked at me and cocked his head. “We aren’t, but Andrew and I are. He’s on his way over and we’re going to play some golf and then go out for dinner.”
“Have fun.” I smiled as I got up from the table.
“Where are you going?”
“Upstairs. Enjoy your day and I’ll see you later,” I said as I walked away.
The pills started to work their magic. My head was beginning to clear and I wasn’t feeling sick anymore. I shuddered at the thought of Ian and Andrew going out. Somehow, women were always involved. I went back downstairs. Ian wasn’t around. I sat down at the piano and started playing Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata.” It was the first song that came to mind because I always found it sad, and since I was in that frame of mind, it seemed like the right song to play. I finished that song and went right into “Fur Elise.” I closed my eyes and played, hitting each key as if it was my last breath. A single tear fell down my cheek as I immersed myself in the melody. Another tear fell, and then another. I was so lost in my sad world that I didn’t even notice Ian standing at the piano, staring at me. When I opened my eyes and saw him, I immediately stopped playing. He didn’t say anything. He just stared at me as if he so badly wanted to say something, but couldn’t. I wiped my eyes and got up from the bench.
“I thought you left,” I said as I walked past him.
Ian reached out and lightly grabbed my arm. “Why are you crying?”
I wouldn’t turn around and look at him. I looked down at the ground as I replied. “That song always makes me cry. No big deal,” I said as his grip softened, and I walked away.
****
I lay down on the couch and fell asleep. My mind wandered back to that house. The house where I spent the last thirteen years of my life. Images of my aunt haunted my dreams. The men she brought home, the alcohol she drank, and the drugs she put into her body had a tight grip on my mind and I couldn’t escape from it.
“Rory, wake up. You’re having a nightmare.”
My eyes flew open at the sound of Ian’s voice. I looked at him as I sat up and threw my arms around him. He softly rubbed my back, telling me that it was okay. No, it wasn’t okay. It would never be okay. My past would always haunt me and I needed to figure out how to stop it.
“What time is it?” I asked.
“Eight o’clock.”
“Why are you home already?”
Ian looked at me strangely before he replied, “Why would you ask that?”
“I don’t know. I’m sorry. I’m just not thinking clearly right now.”
“Have you eaten dinner?” he asked as he pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear.
“No.”
“Come on; let me make you something.” He smiled.
“I’m not hungry. In fact, I’m just going to go work out for a little bit,” I said as I started to get up from the couch.
Ian grabbed the back of my pants and stopped me. He placed his hands on my hips as his thumbs hooked into the waistband of my pants and panties and he took them down. He pulled me onto him. “Would you like a workout partner? I have some new moves to show you,” he said as his lips touched mine.
That was all he had to do to pull me back in and forget about everything else. I didn’t resist him when his fingers pulled my shirt over my head. He reached behind me as his fingers unhooked my bra, sending shivers throughout my body. He took my breasts in his hands as he stared at me, giving me that look of hunger. The look that screamed, I’m going to devour every inch of you. He leaned forward and took my nipple in his mouth as my hands raked through his hair. I let out a moan at his powerful sucking and nipping that ignited the fire between my legs. I pulled his shirt up as he lifted his arms and tossed it to the side.
“Wrap your legs around me and hold on,” he whispered.
He picked me up and carried me up the stairs. As soon as we got in the hallway, he held me up by my ass, pressing my back against the wall. His eyes gazed into mine. Once I undid his belt, I unbuttoned his pants and took them halfway down, releasing his throbbing cock. He held me up by one hand and his other took his pants down all the way. His finger played around my slick area as he gasped.
“You’re ready to be f*cked and I can’t wait any longer.”
He pushed into me and I let out a moan. “That’s right, sweetheart. Let me know how much you love it when I f*ck you.”
I licked his lips as he thrust into me, deeper and harder with each one, hitting the right spot that sent my body into pure bliss. His body was tightening and I could feel him getting ready to explode.
“F*ck, sweetheart, you’re coming and you’re making me come,” he said, exasperated, as his last forceful thrust took me.
I dropped my head on his as he held me in place, squeezing my ass as he poured every last drop into me. “That was amazing, Rory,” he said with an exhausted breath. “I’m going to put you down for a minute so I can take my pants off.”
I unwrapped my legs and he gently lowered me down. As soon as he stepped out of his pants, he smiled and told me to wrap my legs around him again. I did what he asked as he held me up and kissed me. He carried me to the bedroom and gently laid me down on the bed, falling onto me as he continued to explore my lips. He broke our kiss and rolled off of me. A few things had started to bother me. Why he never took me into his bed and why he never mentioned that room. I rested my head on his chest as he brought his arm around me.
“What’s in that other room, down the hall?” I asked.
“It’s just another guest room,” he replied.
“Why do you keep the door locked?” I couldn’t help it; I had to ask.
“There’s some private things I keep in there.”
“What kind of private things?”
“Nothing you need to worry about, Rory.”
“Really, because I’ve seen you take women into that room.”
“Is that so?” he asked. “Do you want to start an argument, Rory? Because I can guarantee you’ll lose.”
A nerve inside my body went ballistic when he said that. I sat up and looked at him in disbelief. I turned away and climbed out of bed, grabbing my workout clothes from the drawer.
“Where the hell are you going?”
“Avoiding an argument that you can guarantee I’ll lose and to do what I should’ve done instead of letting you f*ck me: work out.”
“Too late, Rory. The argument already started,” he yelled as I walked out the door.
“F*ck you, Ian,” I screamed from the hallway.
I headed downstairs to the gym. I finished putting on my clothes and wrapped my hands. I put on the boxing gloves and stood in front of the punching bag. Jab. Jab. Punch. My mind went back to the days when my aunt’s drug dealer taught me how to punch the bag properly.
“Focus all your energy into your hands. Let it build and then focus on the bag.”
Jab. Cross punch. Punch. Punch. Round kick.
“How long do you plan on staying down here?” Ian asked.
I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to come down and talk to me after what he said. “I don’t know.” Punch. Punch.
“Suit yourself. I’m not playing games,” he said as he turned and walked away.
“I’m not either,” I yelled.
About an hour later, I finished my workout and went up to my room. Ian wasn’t in there. I looked down the hall at his bedroom. His door was shut, but I could see the light shining from underneath the door. I took a shower to wash off the sweat I built up from the workout, and when I was finished, I climbed into bed. I didn’t want to sleep alone. I had gotten used to Ian holding me at night. When I was with him, I didn’t have the nightmare. I took my phone from the nightstand and sent him a text message.
“You suck.”
“So do you.”
“I’m sorry,” I wrote.
“Apology accepted.”
Seriously? Was he not going to apologize to me for what he said?
“You’re not going to apologize to me?”
“For what? I said nothing wrong.”
“I take my apology back.”
“You can’t.”
“I just did. Goodnight.”
He didn’t reply back. I turned off the light and rolled on my side. I tucked my hands underneath my pillow and closed my eyes. Later that night, I awoke and felt his arm around me. I looked at the clock and it was four a.m. I didn’t hear him come in the room or climb into bed, but I was happy he was there. I slowly rolled over and cuddled into him. He kissed the top of my head and I drifted back to sleep.
****
The morning air was cold when Ian and I stepped outside for our run. We didn’t talk about last night. I guess we both kind of silently called it a truce and moved on.
“I’m surprised you wanted to run this morning after your vigorous workout last night,” Ian said.
“There’s nothing like a good run in the fresh open air.”
“True.” He smiled.
I couldn’t let it go. I needed to tell him that I saw the room and I knew what was in there. “I was in the room, Ian. The door was unlocked. I was looking for you the night you left. I thought it was your bedroom, so I turned the knob and walked in. I’m sorry, but I just had to tell you.”
Ian stared straight ahead as we ran and cleared his throat before he began to speak. “What did you think when you saw it?”
“I don’t know. At first, I was freaked out a bit, but it’s your business, not mine. The only problem I have is wondering why you never took me in there.”
He turned his head and looked at me. “Do you want me to take you in there? Do you want me to do those things to you?”
“I don’t know,” I said.
“I don’t want you in that room. If I did, I would’ve taken you there. I can’t and don’t want to explain to you about that room. I have no desire to do those kinds of things with you.”
That’s nice. Was that supposed to be a compliment? I couldn’t help but wonder.
“I like what we have, Rory.”
“What do we have, Ian?” my big mouth spit out.
“A close friendship,” he replied.
“Like you and Adalynn?”
“Sure, you could say that.”
“Nothing else?”
He stopped in the sand and I stopped with him. He looked at me and put his hands on each side of my face. “I told you there would be nothing else, remember? We talked about this.”
“I remember,” I said as I looked down.
He lifted my chin with his finger. “Let’s not make this complicated.”
I couldn’t do anything but agree with him because I wasn’t going to fight with him again. This was what Adalynn had warned me of, and I knew full well what I was getting myself into. My name is Rory Sinclair, and I’m Ian Braxton’s friend with benefits.
“No complication here,” I said as I began running.
My feelings were hurt and I just wanted to collapse on the sand and cry. I felt like a call girl. Ian Braxton’s own personal call girl. Is that what I’ve resorted to now? Is that what I’ve let myself become?