I hesitate to let him have it, but I do. I watch him study it.
“It’s a penny, for good luck,” I quietly explain. “But you don’t eat it, you just hold it. And . . . make a wish.”
“Okay,” he says.
He holds it for a little while and squeezes his eyes shut, as if he’s wishing, then he takes it to his train box as he takes out the trains to play. I keep an eye on the penny as he sets it aside and starts trying to build his track.
“What a nice picture.” I glance at the door, and Brooke is grinning at us. “Reese, you haven’t had time to have any fun here,” she says, kneeling. “Go out with the boys, Riley and Pete are going out on the town.”
I shake my head. “Oh, no, I have a blast with Racer.”
“Come on, go out with the adults tonight. There’s another circuit party. Diane’s staying in and she offered to sleep over with the little guy.” She smiles to convince me and settles down to play with Racer, and, reluctantly, I sit back on my heels.
“I’ll meet you guys there.”
She nods.
Quickly, I fish up my penny and tuck it back into my pocket, and I’m relieved to spot Pete with his mega-sized leather-bound agenda in the kitchen. “Pete, can I ask you something personal?” I say.
“Shoot.” He’s scanning something in the agenda—the fight schedules, I think.
“You usually know . . . where all the fighters are staying. Right?”
He nods absently.
“Can I see the list of fighters and their hotels?”
He narrows his eyes as he scrutinizes me with brotherly concern, then, reluctantly, he flips the pages and shows me the list and I scan for Maverick. I slide the agenda back to him.
“Thank you.”
“Reese, I don’t need to say it,” he warns.
I know that it’s wrong, that it won’t come to anything, that he’s the Avenger, that I’m in over my head. But I need to see him. I need to talk to him. I need to explain why I didn’t make it and I need to tell him what I’ve decided to do. I can only pray he’ll hear me. And that I’ll have the words to explain.
“There’s something I need to do.”
THIRTY-FIVE
BOSTON
Maverick
On my flight to Boston I google him. My dad. Every rumor. Every bit of news.
Drugs. Doping. Abuse of coaches. Lawsuits. Girls claiming he raped them.
He and his thugs assaulted them.
I turn off my phone and toss it into my duffel.
This is your father, Maverick.
The man you want to make proud.
My mother said he used to be good. He used to want things, good things. But he went into fighting. He didn’t like losing. He became bitter, obsessed, and rather than get things the right way, he chose to get them any way.
This is why I’m poison to everyone.
This is why Reese should stay away. Is staying away.
I’ve got poison in my blood. But growing up without him gave me more will than any father’s pampering or spoiling could’ve given me.
I AM Scorpion’s son.
I AM the Avenger.
I AM a fighter.
I AM after Reese.
She’s more under my skin than my father is. Than Tate is. Than anyone’s ever been. She’s under my skin, in my fucking veins, in my lungs, in my heart, and in my brain.
I will buy a hundred tickets if I have to. One day she’s flying first class with me. Having a nice dinner with me. Sleeping in a nice hotel bed, with slippery sheets and cloud pillows with me. One day she’ll be in love with me.
? ? ?
I FIND OZ waiting at the terminal. I cashed one of my six-figure checks, so I set up Oz and me in a nice hotel. Oz is blown away as we wander inside. Two bedrooms, huge living room, a bar, and views of the harbor.
“This is great. Now where’s the girl?”
I drop his suitcase in his room. “Go change. We’re going to the circuit party.”
“Says who? Don’t think so.”
“I say so, Oz.”
“I don’t mingle.”
“Don’t mingle. Sit there, for all I care.”
“Why the fuck will I do that?”
“’Cause there’s a chance Reese will be there.”
He looks at me like I’ve lost it. And yeah, I’ve lost it. I’m fucked-up over her and I’m not denying it. I need a Reese-aholics Anonymous but I’m not ready to sober up, as far as I’m concerned. I’m ready to keep drowning in her.
“If she wanted you, she’d have made it,” Oz says. “I had a fucking SUNDAE on the plane. You totally missed out.”
“Just get dressed,” I snarl, then I wait and cross my arms, staring out the window. I know what she feels for me. I know she wants me. I know it’s not easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is.
Oz comes out in boxers and a white T-shirt. “Won’t mind hanging around here while you go. Have fun.”
I shake my head at him, then I hit the shower. In two days, semifinals begin. Two nights. Multiple fights. I need to end up second or I’m over.
I need to train harder than ever. Concentrate more than my brain can possibly even accomplish.
But tonight Reese is haunting me.
THIRTY-SIX
MY FIRST BIG CHOICE