Leather and Lace

Chapter 28

On January 2, Morgan left for Austin to see Governor Ireland. Casey should have been excited. Instead, worry knitted her insides. She wanted it finished. Now. The three days Morgan was gone seemed like forever, but when he did return, the wait continued.

Marriage. Morgan brought up the subject so often that she hated to see their conversation veering toward his love for her. She used to look forward to his visits. When did her love for him turn into such agony? When she remembered how Jenkins hurt her.

In the evenings when Sarah drifted off to sleep and Casey had the remaining hours to herself, Morgan arrived at the parsonage. She believed he stood outside in the street and waited for her to blow out the lamp in Sarah’s bedroom. Night after night, his pattern continued. Many times she wished the reverend would stay seated with them in the parlor, but he always excused himself to his study after a brief conversation. This particular evening, she sensed a lighter mood about Morgan the moment she opened the door. Maybe he wouldn’t mention marriage tonight.

“I have a surprise for you.” He closed the door behind him. He grinned, and the way he rubbed his palms together made her wonder what had happened.

“From the look on your face, you’d better tell me soon before you burst.”

“Evenin’, Morgan,” the reverend said. “Did you have a good day?”

“A busy one, which is good,” he said. “I saw you this afternoon coming from the barbershop. Thought about inviting you to my office, but a couple of ladies stopped you.”

The reverend chuckled. “I needed rescuing. Did you want to discuss something?”

“Just to talk a spell,” Morgan said.

“Here I thought you and Shawne had set a date. Sarah’d love to hear that.”

Casey hadn’t thought of Sarah wanting to see them marry. How could she ever disappoint her dear friend? But she couldn’t face getting married.

“You’ll be one of the first to know.” Morgan wrapped his arm around Casey’s waist. “Soon, I’m sure.”

Casey forced a smile. “Things need to calm down around here first.”

The reverend sobered. “I understand. Hard to set up housekeeping with all this upheaval. Glad I started calling you Shawne right from the start. Seems like I look twice at every man who enters town. Want to make sure it’s not a stranger.”

Her smile this time was genuine. “Thank you. We should have word any day.” She turned to Morgan. “Right?”

“Well, I did receive a letter this afternoon.”

She gasped. “From Governor Ireland?”

“Possibly.”

“I’m leaving you alone.” The reverend laughed. “This sounds like something just the two of you need to share.”

Morgan took her hand and led her into the parlor. She trembled from the excitement. He moved one of the cream-covered lace pillows and sat on the sofa. Her heart pounded and her pulse raced. He pulled out a folded piece of paper from inside his coat pocket.

“Is it good news?” A fluttering in her stomach reminded her of butterflies—hatching.

“What do you think?” he said. “Do you honestly believe I would interrupt your evening if I didn’t have good news?” He shrugged. “Of course, I interrupt most evenings.”

Casey tried to ignore the anxiousness rippling through her body. “Morgan, I can’t wait much longer. Please read it to me.”

“I have two items to report.”

She held her breath.

“Can I have a kiss first?”

She leaned over and lightly touched her lips to his. “Please.” She immediately caught her cross words in midair.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “This is important to both of us, and I’m teasing. First, I found my old marriage records from Billings that place me there the same day the land office was robbed. So the records seal my testimony. And this letter came.” He opened the folded piece of paper. “Would you like to read it?” He handed her the paper.

She pushed it back to him. “No. You do it. I’m too nervous.”

“To tell you the truth, I have it nearly memorized. Governor Ireland has taken into consideration all the documents we presented. He deliberated over them for several days before making a decision. With your willingness to reveal confidential information about the outlaws, he has agreed to drop all charges against you in the state of Texas.”

Casey laughed and cried at the same time. “I can’t believe it finally happened. And this means I won’t be wanted for any crimes in this state?”

Morgan nodded. “I didn’t want to bring this up before, but the problem lies in the alleged crimes from other states. You could still be forced to stand trial for each charge. By law, a state has a legal right to demand extradition. In other words, a state has the right to demand that you be turned over to them.”

“If they find me.” That thought brought little comfort even in light of the pardon.

He picked up her hand. “Understand once the word is out about your pardon, lawmen from all over will be swarming like angry bees to find you.”

“But I don’t understand. I’m willing to work with them.” Melancholia welled up inside her. Had Governor Ireland’s pardon made matters worse?

“The governor knows this and recommends we take your file to President Arthur as soon as possible. A meeting has been arranged with you and a federal marshal. A marshal is due here in three weeks. The governor feels we will be successful in receiving a full pardon from the President with your willingness to give information.”

She shivered. “I wanted the opportunity to help. I prayed for this. But I’m afraid for you, your family, and our friends. I know it’s selfish, but I’m afraid for myself.”

He lightly squeezed her hand and looked into her face. “Not if this is handled properly.”

“Do you think meeting with the federal marshal is a better way than standing trial for each accusation?”

“Definitely. Standing trial and casting your fate upon a jury is like throwing dice. Who knows what kind of mood they’d be in or who may have bribed them? The whole thing could last months, even years. This way, the marshal can hear your sincerity. He will already have viewed the testimonial letters. Also, he won’t have any idea you live in Kahlerville. I’d prefer you lead your conversation toward whereabouts in another part of Texas. I don’t want you to lie. Just not offer every bit of information.” He paused. “I want to protect you, so don’t say anything that could be twisted and used against you unless you’re asked specific questions.”

“I understand.” She sensed warmth rise from her neck to her cheeks. This had to work.

“When this is over, you’ll have a clean record with the law. You’ll be a free woman.”

The mere thought of freedom tempted her enough to do anything the President or the governor or the federal marshals asked of her. Morgan slipped his arm around her shoulders as though he read the many thoughts racing through her mind.

“Will Ben’s effort to help me look like he kept an outlaw from being exposed?”

“Not at all. Ben’s reputation for keeping the law in this part of the state cannot be disputed. He’s highly respected.”

“Then Jenkins will be the only one left,” she said. “My last battle.”

*****

The next day, Sarah showed signs of improving. She sat in bed propped up with pillows and talked clearly of days gone by. She arranged her funeral while her husband took careful notes and wrote letters to their children and grandchildren. Her funeral would be a homecoming, a celebration of life rather than an ending.

With her renewed strength, Sarah saw an immediate urgency to have things done. The plants needed their leaves cleansed with milk, and Casey hurried to complete the job. A new family within the congregation needed a visit, so the reverend saddled his horse and paid them a call. Countless other tasks were completed to Sarah’s satisfaction, and still she had more for them to do. She made a list of those who needed food and clothing. Her bed was covered with books and papers while laughter poured from her very soul. She ate with an appetite not seen since the past spring. A time of rejoicing rang through the parsonage.

Sarah stared longingly outside and questioned the condition of her roses. In a few more months they’d need pruning. Did Casey know how to do that? Perhaps tomorrow she’d feel well enough to sit outside wrapped in a blanket.

After a restful night, Sarah woke cheerful and alert. She shooed the reverend out of the bedroom and on to his church responsibilities. “Your work is lagging because of tending to me. Go on and get caught up.”

About midmorning, Casey detected a change in Sarah’s physical and mental disposition. A certain sadness or longing prevailed in Sarah.

“Is something wrong? Are you in pain?” She touched Sarah’s pale cheek, but she was cool.

“Not in pain. I just have a yearning to go home.” Her weak smile was little comfort.

Casey caught her breath. “You’re not giving up, are you?”

“Yes, I believe so. I felt strange yesterday, and this morning the urgency is still with me. I’m content in Jesus’ presence. I feel Him all around me saying it’s time to go home, and I’m ready.”

Casey knelt at Sarah’s bedside and took the woman’s withered white hand into her own. Now she understood the surge of renewal from the previous day. She’d seen it in the dying before. But she hated to let Sarah go. The dear woman stood for all that was good and genuine in this world. “Are you sure?”

“Precious girl, I’m so tired, and I do want to see Jesus. Angels were here around my bed last night. They’re still here waiting for His word to carry me home.” Sarah’s gaze swept all around the room before resting again on Casey’s face. “Oh, I feel such peace. I wish I could describe it.”

“Should I go fetch the reverend?” Casey wanted to weep, but the joy in Sarah’s pale face refreshed her.

“Not yet. I want to spare him all the heartache I possibly can. This will come as a blessing. And for John, I want my death to be swift. When it’s all over, he can go on with his life and his ministry. The relief and strain of caring for me will be gone. I’m so glad I said good-bye to the children in October. Everything is finished.” She rose slightly from the pillow. Some of her white hair slipped from her bun. “I worry about you, dear. Some things aren’t resolved, are they?”

Casey tilted her head. She realized Sarah could see through any falsehood. “Do you mean the legal matters?”

“I mean with Morgan.” She laughed lightly. “Don’t you know by now that you can’t keep anything from me?”

Casey refused to burden Sarah with her own turmoil. “Morgan loves me and wants to marry me.”

“And what is wrong with that? Don’t you love him?”

“Oh yes, Sarah. I’ve loved him since the beginning.” Casey smiled and kissed her cheek. “You shouldn’t be fretting over me. I’m fine.”

“If you truly love him, why are you so unhappy?”

Silence filled the room.

“I don’t know how to put my feelings into words,” Casey finally said. “I feel so selfish discussing myself.”

“But you must talk to me. This is the old woman who loves you so very much.”

Casey hesitated a moment more. “I don’t trust him. I’m afraid his wildness and bad temperament will return. And marriage frightens me. This is hard to explain. It’s uncomfortable for me to talk about things that a good woman like you would find unpleasant. Jenkins hurt me in the way only a man can hurt a woman.”

“I understand without you explaining more. Any woman would be afraid of what marriage requires after an experience like that. Has Morgan given you reasons to doubt him?” Sarah reached for her hand.

“No. Since he told me what happened to his wife, he hasn’t lost his temper or done anything to make me think otherwise. But I keep waiting for his temper to flare up, and I’m afraid of marriage. So I’m always . . . prepared for the worst. Sometimes I want to touch him or tell him how much I do love him, but I’m afraid. I hate those awful moments.”

“You’re protecting yourself,” Sarah concluded and closed her eyes.

“Let’s not talk of this. You need your strength.”

With her eyes still closed, Sarah offered a weak laugh. “I will soon be dancing in heaven, but I can’t leave until I feel you’re going to be all right.”

“You are such a loving, beautiful lady,” Casey said. “I don’t know what to do but pray about the situation with Morgan. I can’t marry him with unsure feelings, and I’ve put him off until the legal matters are settled. I could insist Jenkins be found. But what then?”

“You’re right in not marrying him until you’re certain. If the Lord wants you to marry, He will tell you if Morgan is the right man. Just listen for the quiet voice of God. Sometimes we are so busy praying that we forget to hush and simply let Him speak.” Sarah moistened her lips and took a labored breath.

Casey fussed with the quilt around Sarah’s neck. “Please just rest now. You can talk to me later.”

Sarah shook her head. “There may not be a later. Sweet girl, remember this. It’s our nature to fail. Morgan will disappoint you from time to time, as you will him. He cannot be perfect, but will he try? There lies your answer, and only you can know his heart.” The last of her words came between gasps.

Casey leaned over and tearfully kissed her pale cheek. “I love you, Sarah, and I will miss you. You’ve been my mother and my friend. If I live a hundred years, I’ll never be able to replace you.”

The day progressed slowly, and the older woman’s anguish heightened. She refused to suppress the incessant pain, and her strength wavered. When the supper hour approached, she asked for the reverend. Before the parlor clock struck seven, Sarah died, cradled in the arms of her husband.

Kahlerville had lost a fine woman of God.

The day of Sarah’s funeral dawned cool and sunny, just as Sarah would have wanted. The church and yard were filled with people who loved her and were not ready to let her go. Many folks had stories to tell of her goodness, and the accountings were told well into the night.

Casey wanted to save her grieving for the quiet solitude of her room. She needed to be strong and help comfort those who mourned Sarah’s death. But in spite of her resolve, she felt a flood of her own tears. The death had been inevitable. Since the moment Casey agreed to nurse Sarah, the outcome had never been in doubt. Yet reality rarely found folks prepared.

She stepped into the kitchen and rearranged the mounds of food that appeared each time someone paid a call. Repeatedly she swallowed hard to keep from weeping.

“My sweet lady.” Morgan eased up beside her. “You can cry. There’s no reason to be brave.”

“But someone might need something.” Her voice quivered, and she took in a breath. “I’ve changed so much since I started my life over. I can remember moments of sadness from before, but never the grief I feel today.”

“You have God’s Spirit in you, honey.” He turned her to face him, and the tears slipped from her eyes and down her cheeks. Morgan pulled her to his chest. And as she gave in to the comfort of his arms, she heard his heartbeat, firm and strong.

“You loved her and have every right to grieve,” he whispered.

“She was like a mother to me. I miss her so.”

“Go ahead and cry. I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

And she did until his shirt was soaked and not a single tear remained.

She’d learned the true meaning of humility and selfless love. She vowed never to forget Sarah’s wisdom and her striving always to put others first. Casey prayed for the same characteristics to show in her life, especially in her relationship with Morgan. She truly loved him. There had to be a way of ridding her mind of the fear.

I must distance myself until I know what I’m supposed to do. I don’t want to hurt Morgan. He’s endured so much already.