I wish I could say I felt numb. I wanted numb, craved it. I longed for indifference and detachment, because I was a runaway train, racing forward at full speed toward the end of the tracks and a crash I could see clearly in front of me as if it had already happened.
The fight in me faded as quickly as it had built.
I was trapped.
In this place.
In this horrible life.
Tomorrow had come, a day too soon.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Bear
Thia sat perched on the edge of the bed, staring at the wall with an unreadable expression on her face. The same place she’d been since hanging her head in defeat and silently following me back up to the garage.
Ray came over and brought some fresh clothes and a toothbrush for Thia who thanked her and disappeared into the bathroom, but when she came back out both Ray and myself noticed right away that although we’d heard the shower and the sink, she was still wearing the same shorts. We shot each other the same confused look. “Ummm, the nurse who checked you out when you got here, her name is Sally,” Ray said. “You wouldn’t let her check you everywhere. She called earlier and she’s worried and wants to know if you want her to come over and take a look to make sure you’re okay,” Ray offered.
“I’m fine, but thank you.” Thia shook her head, offering Ray a small smile that could barely qualify as a smile. She’d been in the same position, staring at nothing ever since.
I followed Ray out, leaving Thia in the bedroom. “Sorry about the door. I’ll take care of that before I go,” I said, picking up the sword and the door knob from the carpet. I’d forgotten how heavy the sword was, Thia must have been really determined to leave if she was able to not only lift it, but swing it hard enough to sever the fucking knob.
Ray crossed her arms under her chest. “What’s your plan with her?”
“Fuck if I know. She wants to go. I told her the MC was out to get her. I showed her the fucking newspaper article. She’s dead one way or the other, but she still wants to go, so who the fuck am I to keep her here?”
“You’re a guy who knows a little bit of what she’s feeling.”
“How do you figure that?
“Oh I don’t know, maybe because she’s been displaced and has nowhere to go. Maybe because she’s had some terrible shit happen to her that she doesn’t want to talk about,” Ray said, cocking an eyebrow at me. “Any of this sound familiar?”
“I didn’t think about it like that,” I said, leaning against the wall, running my hand down my beard.
“You boys never do,” Ray said with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Grace is coming by tomorrow, you might want to pop your head in and say hello so you don’t catch hell for it.”
“Fuck. Grace. I haven’t even thought to see how she’s doing.” The small radio looking thing in Ray’s hand started to cry, she held it up and waved it in the air. Grace had been battling cancer, but around the time I’d left she declared she wasn’t ready to die and just like that she suddenly seemed well again.
Stubborn women seemed to be a trend in my life, but I was glad for Grace’s stubbornness, if anyone could go to war with death and come out a winner, it was her.
“Gotta go, but you might want to make a plan when it comes to that girl in that room over there. Either let her go or keep her here, either way, you need to decide what’s going to happen, because none of this is fair to her.” She pushed open the broken door and made her way into the garage. I hit the automatic opener and followed her out. “Take that from someone who knows what that’s all about.” I watched Ray leave, following her with my eyes through the window until she made her way into the house by way of the back steps.
Ray was right. I needed to make a decision, but I couldn’t think of one that would result in her being both safe and gone. I could sneak her out of town and get her somewhere the MC didn’t have reach but if the law caught up to her it didn’t matter where she was, if she ended up in a prison or jail somewhere, she was as good as dead.
Unless…
I dug my phone out of my pocket and as my fingers pushed each number I cringed at what I was about to do. “Bethany Fletcher’s office.”
After my call I found Thia exactly where I left her.
“We couldn’t get down your street,” I started, rounding the bed to stand in front of her. Her gaze shifted to the floor. “Law already had the place roped off and were lifting up the tape to let the coroner’s van through. We put our heads down and kept fucking driving.” I kneeled down in front of her and again tried to get her to look at me, but she turned away, this time crawling up the bed and climbing under the blanket. With her back to me she pulled the blanket up to her chin.