But more than that, I never thought I would have this. Growing up the way I did, dreams like this died early. You learned not to hope for too much when you experienced the bitter taste of disappointed as early as I did.
These people doing this said it all about Ty. It said I was reading those signs right. No one did this kind of thing for an asshole or a loser. They did it for someone who was worthy of it.
And my marriage to Ty might have started out fake but this… this was real. These people cared about him, a lot, and they were wasting no time bringing me into the fold.
And he’d given me this.
And I’d never had anything so beautiful.
And I couldn’t handle it.
“Ty,” I vaguely heard Maggie call, “somethin’s wrong with –”
I took another step back and my arm went out to find purchase because if it didn’t, I was going to go down. I knew it. My head was swimming, my vision was blurred and my system couldn’t process what was happening.
I felt a burning sensation at the small of my back, the beer slid out from between my fingers and I heard a deep rumble in my ear saying, “Lex.”
I turned and saw a wall of black.
Ty’s t-shirt.
I lifted my hands and my fingers curled into the material right before I did a face plant in his chest, my legs gave out and I burst into tears.
His long, powerful arms closed around me and they did this tight.
“Baby, what the fuck?” I heard in my ear.
“I can’t… this isn’t happening… I can’t process… presents… cake… chicken,” I stammered crazily then tilted my head back, saw him through blurry eyes and whispered, “Ty, honey, you know good things don’t happen to me. They don’t happen to me. I can’t take this. I don’t know what to do with it.”
Then I lost sight of him because the wet was too much to see through so I shoved my face in his chest again and my body shook against his with my sobs.
Then I was up in his arms and I automatically adjusted, pressing my wet face in his neck, wrapping my arms around it, we were moving but I was deep in the throes of a massive crying jag, didn’t see where we were going and wouldn’t have cared anyway.
I felt myself settled in his lap as he sat somewhere, his arms moving to wrap tight around me but I kept my face in his neck, my arms around it though I pushed my torso deep into his, held on hard and kept crying.
Eventually, one of his hands drifted up my back, under my hair to curl hot around my neck.
“Lexie, baby, calm down,” he whispered in my ear.
I nodded but kept crying.
His fingers squeezed gently. “Baby, you gotta get a handle on this.”
I nodded again and sucked in a broken breath. Then I sucked in another one.
Then, face still in his neck, I mumbled, “I’m sorry. I just never… something like that…” I took in another broken breath and whispered, “It was unexpected.”
“Got good friends,” he murmured.
I nodded again because he did, he had good friends, the kind of friends you didn’t just get, the kind of friends you earned.
And I didn’t know what to do with that either.
I kept my face in his neck and held on.
Then I took in another breath, this one didn’t break and my voice wasn’t trembling but it was quiet when I said, “I’m glad you have that.”
“Me too.”
I held on awhile longer.
Then I swallowed. Then I admitted, “Maybe I am part-goof.”
“Total,” he replied on another squeeze of his fingers at my neck with a corresponding squeeze of his arm around my back. “Total goof.”
“Not total. Part.”
He didn’t reply.
I drew in a last breath through my nose and finally pulled my face out of his neck. His head came back and his chin dipped down so he could look at me.
And God, God, he had beautiful eyes and their beauty increased exponentially when they were close up.
“Sorry,” I whispered.
“Don’t be,” he whispered back.
“I know…” I started, stopped, pulled up the courage and started again, “I know it’s fake but thank you, Ty. I never expected to have anything that nice and it is nice, no matter what. So thank you for giving it to me.”
He didn’t speak but his eyes changed, one of those changes I didn’t know, didn’t yet understand but this one was meaningful. They all were but this one was more meaningful than the rest.
A lot more.
And then I couldn’t stop myself, his eyes so close, that look in them, my arms moved from around his shoulders, my hands framed his face, I leaned up and whispered, “Thank you.”
Then I pressed my lips to his.