He beat back a grin and talked. “Drama over, we’re back to us and I didn’t just fuck up, I did it huge, I said nasty shit that shouldn’t have been said and I can’t take that back. The wounds I inflicted went deep and I can only hope to Christ one day they heal over. Until that day, mama, all I can promise you is that I’ll do all I can do to beat that shit back and never do that to you again. But we got a rocky road ahead of us and I don’t know where it’s gonna lead before we get to the other side. The only thing I can give you is, that shit comes outta my mouth and cuts you, you gotta understand that shit was planted in me and I gotta get it out. I’ll try to do it in a way that doesn’t harm you but I obviously am not battin’ a thousand with that so I can make no promises except I’ll try. What you need to give me is to know it is not about you, it’s about me, you gotta suck it up and stand by me, you gotta know, in the end, I’ll work my ass off to make it all worth it to you and you gotta always remember I love you and I have never, not once, said those words to any breathing soul so you also gotta know what that means.”
She blinked.
Then she asked, “You’ve never told anyone you love them?”
He shook his head and answered, “Loved one person in my life, Tuku, he died without me sayin’ those words to him and, to this day, even though he was not a man prone to that kind of shit, I wished I’d said it and I wished he’d died knowin’ what he gave me and all he meant to me.”
She nodded, her face understanding in a way that made the wound he had from what they went through, a wound still raw, a gaping wound torn open in the left side of his chest, pulsate because he knew from her look she’d learned that lesson the day before.
He didn’t do that to her but what he did forced Julius’s hand so he had that to make up for too.
“I can give you that, Ty,” she whispered, her hands pressing into his chest.
“Thanks, baby,” he whispered back then still spoke soft but firm when he ordered, “Now, I took that shadow out of your life but this mornin’, I see it’s over you. Get rid of it. This is you and me, people live through this shit and if they manage to do it together, it makes them stronger. Power through, mama, and get to that other side with me.”
She stared into his eyes and kept whispering when she said, “How did you know?”
He dipped his face even closer, gliding his hand from her neck up into her hair and his arm around her got tight. “My Lexie beams bright and she can do that shit even in her sleep. The Lexie shuffling around this kitchen is doin’ it under a cloud.”
She held his eyes. Then she pressed closer. Then her lips tipped up at the ends.
Then she said, “Okay, honey, I’ll turn on the light.”
He felt his lips tip up at the ends too before he replied, “Okay.”
She got up on her toes and kissed his throat. He closed his eyes when he felt her lips and the brush of her soft hair on his jaw. Then he opened them when she dropped back to her feet.
When he had her gaze again, he reminded her, “We got busy and you didn’t get your take last night. Lotta shit goin’ down and I’m skippin’ my workout tonight to come straight home and take you to the Dodge dealership outside Gnaw Bone before we gotta be home to get ready to take Julius and Anana to The Rooster.”
He brows drew together. “The Dodge –?”
“Gettin’ you another Charger.”
Light dawned then right on its heels denial started. “Ty –”
He shook his head and his fingers in her hair fisted and tugged gently. “Gettin’ you another Charger.”
“But… I don’t… you can’t…” she paused then finished, “the money.”
“The angle Tate’s workin’ doesn’t cost a fuckload of cash to grease the palms of scumbags who won’t do something for nothing. You need a car that I can trust, the Snake would do in the summer, a Charger’s better for the winter. You loved that car. What I did meant you lost it. I got the cash, you’re gettin’ another one.” He paused then finished, “Tonight.”
“But –”
He cut her off. “And, this weekend, fuck me, we’re goin’ shoppin’ for a coffee table.”
She blinked. Then tried again, “But –”
“And I gotta send more money to Ella to get your shit back.”
“My shit is at Dominic and Daniel’s. They have an old ranch house with a barn so they could store it for me. They were waiting for me to settle somewhere so they could send it to me.”
Well, thank fuck. One problem that wouldn’t cost a fucking fortune or take weeks.
“Good. I’ll talk to the boys, get your shit home.”
She grinned. Then she told him, “We don’t need a coffee table.”
“You said last night we do,” he reminded her.
She pressed closer. “Ty, honey,” she said softly, “I get what you’re trying to do but it’s going to be okay, I’m going to be okay. You don’t have to give me my every heart’s desire to prove to me you love me.”
“Mama, every other time I wanna turn on the fuckin’ TV, gotta first locate the remotes and this usually involves diggin’ them outta the cushions. That shit’s a pain in the ass. Last week, got up and kicked over a nearly full beer I put on the floor. That shit’s also a pain in the ass. We need a fuckin’ coffee table.”
She giggled, he heard it, saw it, felt it and liked it.
Then she said, “All right, baby, we’ll buy a coffee table.” Pause then, “And a rug.”
Pushing it.
Whatever.
“And a rug,” he agreed.
She smiled at him.