Wrath escorted me back to his private chamber in silence, sensing my need to sort through my options. He paused outside his door and looked me over. “We haven’t had many opportunities to discuss it, and now isn’t the most ideal time, either, but I’d like for us to share a room. It can be either of our suites, or we can tear the wall down between them and turn it into one floor for our private living quarters. We’ll add a small kitchen if you’d like.”
For the first time in days my mind stopped spinning. I stared at my husband, who never ceased to amaze me with his consideration. His endless acts of love. I rolled up onto my toes and dragged his face close to mine. “Let’s add the kitchen and tear the wall down. The idea of having this entire floor as our private living quarters where we can hide from the whole court is wildly appealing. And I disagree entirely. This was the perfect time to discuss it.”
“Consider it done, my lady.” Wrath kissed me gently, then opened the door. I followed him in and collapsed onto one of the oversized chairs set before the fireplace. The momentary elation passed, replaced by the seriousness of what had to be done next. Wrath looked me over, his lips tugging into a frown. “Did you get the answers you needed?”
“Mostly.” The flames danced in the fireplace, reminding me of excited puppy tails wagging. I turned my attention to my husband. “The bargain you made with Sursea was for six years, six months, and six days.” Wrath dropped into the chair beside me, giving me an assessing look. Before he could ask any questions, I added, “How much time is left?”
He gazed at the fire, the flames gilding his face in warm light. “A day.”
“A day.” I hadn’t thought we’d had much time left, but a day was ridiculous. Through a remarkable act of self-control, I pulled in my fury, keeping a clear head. “If we don’t break the curse before tomorrow, it can’t ever be broken.”
“The Well of Memory worked for you.” Wrath’s tone didn’t indicate how he felt about it. And his expression was even harder to read. He got up and poured a drink from the decanter he kept on a sideboard near the mantel. He turned to me and held the lavender liquid up. “This will ensure I don’t lose you again. Curse or not, we’ll get through it this time.”
He sipped the tincture that prevented him from feeling love, and the rage I felt at our circumstances and the First Witch came flooding out.
“We will not get through it like that. I want your heart, Samael. I want your love without spells and tinctures keeping it locked away. Only having half of you is a curse, too. We both deserve more. We deserve true happiness. Happiness without chains or restrictions or strings attached to it. No matter the sins of our past, we do not deserve to be punished for eternity. Your only crime was helping your brother and his wife make their own choice. Now you must give up love? For what? A hateful witch’s vengeance? I will not accept that. I cannot. You ought to give your heart to whomever you choose, whenever and however you choose to give it.”
“That might never happen.” Wrath’s tone wasn’t harsh or unkind. There was a glimmer of sadness in his eyes. “So decide now, before we complete our bond, if this—what we have right now—will be good enough for you. If I cannot love you, if I cannot offer you my heart in return, you need to decide if that’s something you can live with. If you cannot…”
Wrath would walk away; he’d set me free even if it crushed him.
“That’s why you haven’t brought up completing our bond before.”
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I’d hoped to find a way to break the curse before we had to have this discussion.”
Silence fell between us again.
The fire crackled, its excitement over our combined anger feeding the flames. I wasn’t upset with Wrath. I understood why he’d crafted a secondary strategy in the event the curse remained intact. That showed his love even when he couldn’t express it. But I was greedy. I wanted it all. All of him. The good parts and the bad and every piece and part in between.
Having him love me in half measures was a miserable fate for both of us.
I stood and crawled onto his lap, resting my head against his heart. “In the Well of Memory… I found a way to break the curse.” Wrath stiffened beneath me. “I need to leave to accomplish it, and I need you to remain here.”
He rubbed a hand up and down my spine. “You don’t sound happy.”
I sensed he wanted to ask more, but he’d already figured out I’d shared all I could. I nestled against him, taking the comfort he was offering and wrapping it around me like the sweetest sort of embrace. “I might have to hurt someone I care about. Someone that doesn’t deserve an ounce of pain.”
Wrath kissed the top of my head. “I’m sorry.”
He didn’t tell me to find another way, because there wasn’t one. He didn’t offer to stand in my place, because he knew I needed to be the one to do it. There were no words of comfort, because I had to do something I hated to free us.
Wrath carefully tilted my face up to his, his gaze penetrating enough to stare into my soul if I allowed him to. When he brought his lips to mine, he unleashed all the things that were pointless to say and communicated all our hopes and sorrow without words.
Before I knew what was happening, Wrath used his supernatural strength and speed to maneuver us onto the plush carpet. He lay beneath me, holding me above his face, and flashed a devilish grin that had my toes curling from its sinful intent. I might have been the one on top, gazing down into his seductive eyes, but he was in control now.
“What are you doing?” I asked. “We don’t have time…”
“The world could end before we know it. And I have my own fantasies to live out, my lady. If you’re willing to indulge?”
I understood his need for a connection. To feel something other than fear or our sins as we raced to a finish line we weren’t sure was close by. I needed him, too. He might not be able to tell me he loved me, but he could certainly show me. I nodded. “I’m happy to oblige.”
“Thank fuck.” He lowered me so that my knees were on either side of his head, his thumbs rubbing lazy circles on my hips. Wrath lifted my skirts and parted my lacy undergarments, slowly dragging a finger over the slickness waiting for him.
“Is this a new lesson in conquering or surrender?” I managed to ask as his finger dipped inside, then curled ever so gently. I swore as he repeated the motion with a second finger, stretching me. He withdrew his fingers, then pushed them back in, pumping slowly.
“You tell me, my lady.”
“I—goddess curse me.”