Keep It Together

chapter Seven

“What the hell was she doing here?” Russ demanded as he stomped his way into the hotel room. “And why does it smell like sex in here?”

Colt stood against the desk, calm on the outside, wondering at the damage control he needed to do with Chrissie on the inside. “Good to see you too, Russ. Didn’t think you’d be showing up so early.” He crossed his arms over his chest and gave his best casual but on guard look to his brother. “We had dinner last night,” he said by way of explanation.

“Did she spend the night?”

“Very astute, counselor.”

“Jesus, Colt. How could you do that?”

“Excuse me?” Colt didn’t get angry very often, but the third degree from an angry Russ was unexpected and irritated him. He’d wait it out, see how things went, but backing down wasn’t going to happen. “How could I do what?”

“You know what. How could you sleep with my fiancée?”

“I’m sorry, but you forfeited that claim when you left her in the church wondering where in the hell you were. However, since it seems to have escaped your attention, she’s no longer your fiancée. Nor do I owe you an explanation on something that isn’t any of your business.”

“You know what I mean. It’s uncool. She was mine.”

“The operative word being ‘was,’ and you left her for a dancer in Vegas.”

“That was a mistake.”

Colt scoffed. “Clearly.”

Brother stared at brother for long, tense minutes. Colt was ready to defend Chrissie but unwilling to defend their budding relationship. And it was a relationship. Everything he felt about her and everything he sensed she felt about him signaled relationship, and he’d be damned if Russ was going to get a say in it.

He didn’t know what his brother was feeling. Part of him didn’t care. What he wanted most was to call Chrissie, to make sure she was all right. The deer in headlights look she’d given him when she opened the door to find Russ standing there was one Colt didn’t want to see again, but he couldn’t stop replaying it in his head.

“So what? You and Christina…?”

“If I have my way, yes.”

“What an a*shole you are.”

“How does that make me an a*shole?” He kept as conversational a tone as he could muster. He wasn’t going to become belligerent or defiant. He wasn’t in the wrong. No one was. Russ needed to vent and Colt was good with that. “You gave her up,” Colt reminded him. “You walked out on her. You left her standing in a church in her wedding dress on her wedding day. And you think I’m the a*shole? You left it up to our sister to give her the news that you weren’t coming. You sure as hell didn’t call me about it.”

Russ sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck. “No.” He stalked to the window and looked out over Bay Street. “I knew how you’d react when you found out.”

“You’d have been right too.”

“You must have been happy when I screwed up.”

“Why would I be happy about that?” He was, secretly. It meant he had a shot with a woman who deserved better than Russ.

His brother was great at his job, great as a friend, even great as a sibling, but when it came to relationships? Russ left a lot to be desired in the Romeo role. “Because it meant you could have her. Don’t think I didn’t see the way you couldn’t take your eyes off her at the party that night.”

Colt was stunned, certain for the longest time that the visual attention he’d paid Chrissie had gone unnoticed. For an instant he felt the guilt that he was sure he was supposed to feel at having been called out on his action; however, that feeling dissipated as quickly as it had come. “Fine.” Now it was his turn to stun his ever-suave brother. “You caught me. Yes, I stared at her when I thought no one was looking. I wanted her the second I saw her, and I was envious that it was you and not me. It was the first time I’d ever wanted one of your women. But I didn’t do or say anything untoward, nor would I have. Ever. You know me better than that, Russ.”

Russ nodded, and his cheeks colored slightly in the morning sun streaming through the windows. “I know. You’re the good brother. I was actually proud that she caught your eye, that you couldn’t look away from her. I’d never seen you look a woman, at any woman, like that. What does that say about me?”

“I don’t know. I never wanted to see her brokenhearted. I never imagined that you wouldn’t actually marry her. I thought you loved her. I thought the two of you loved each other, and maybe you did, but to leave her like that? Man, you didn’t see her the day after. You didn’t see her red, blotchy face from crying. You didn’t see the dejected look in her eyes. I did and I would never wish that kind of hurt on anyone.”

“I know.” Russ ran a hand over the back of his neck. “I was a coldhearted bastard. I never planned to do that to her. I did plan to marry her. I loved her. As much as I can love anyone. She was so beautiful in that wholesome, Southern girl way, you know? So different than the wives and girlfriends of the people I hang around with, and I thought… I thought different was a good thing. But it wasn’t what I really wanted. I wanted to fit in and different didn’t do that. I saw how much she would have rather escaped the engagement party than mingle with a roomful of people she didn’t know. I saw it at the rehearsal dinner too. She didn’t want to be there, not like that. Me, though? I loved it. I was in my element. She would never be the schmoozing kind.”

“From what I understand, her mother is.”

Russ laughed. “And she’s a beautiful woman too, but she’s married. I don’t think that would go over well with the mayor.”

“No, probably not.”

“You know Chrissie plays with guns, right?”

Colt smiled. “Yes, I do know.”

“You and I. We’ve always had the same taste in women.”

“Up to now, yes. Tastes change for some people. I don’t want the jet-setter or the boardroom brawler or the schmoozer. She doesn’t have to be the popular one for me anymore. But I think you still want one like that, the socialite, the one all the men want on their arms, and there’s nothing wrong with that, Russ. I want the different one.”

“So you grew up, and I’m still a teenager.”

“You said it, not me.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Russ sobered. “So, she’s over me?”

Colt raised a brow in skepticism. “You think it’s that hard for a girl to get over you?”

Russ’s easy grin was back, and he spread his arms wide. “Just look at me.”

Colt’s bark of laughter echoed around the room. “Yeah, you’re a prize,” he agreed with no little bit of sarcasm. “She is over you.” At least Colt hoped she was. She’d said she was, more than once, and he’d believed her. Now that she’d come face-to-face with Russ, would she say something else? Why didn’t she kick him in the shins when she saw him at the door? Why didn’t she slap his face, spit at him, call him a jerk, an a*shole, something, anything? Why didn’t she do more than look back, uncertain and almost sad? “Maybe the real question should be, are you over her?”

Was she was afraid Colt had set her up? Was that why she had that look he couldn’t stop thinking about? He hadn’t, of course, but he could see how finding Russ there would have been a bit of a curveball and one she hadn’t seen coming.

“Yes. No. I don’t…” Russ sighed and planted his hands on hips. “I think so. I think I knew it wasn’t right long before the wedding day actually arrived. I just didn’t know how to call it off.”

“What you did worked brilliantly.”

“Yeah, seems to have. What are you really doing here? In Savannah, I mean. You said you had a meeting but… And why didn’t you call me until this morning to tell me you were in town?”

“It was a last-minute decision.” For the first time since Russ walked in the room, Colt couldn’t meet his eyes. Not out of guilt, but the current circumstance was odd. He hadn’t wanted Russ to find out this way. He’d have preferred to tell Russ rather than Russ coming face-to-face with Chrissie as she was leaving Colt’s hotel room.

“Colt? Oh my God, bro. You came for her, didn’t you? For Christina?” The shock was genuine, and Colt wouldn’t deny it. “This isn’t just a business trip, is it? How bad do you have it for her?”

“Pretty bad,” he admitted, meeting his brother’s gaze head-on. There was no use in keeping it a secret.

“And does she have it just as bad for you? I mean, I guess she would have to since she was here all night.”

Once more, Colt buried the uncertainty. “I think so.” He hoped to hell he was right. He didn’t want to go through life not having her again. He didn’t want to go through life knowing he’d had one night with her and then lost her.

“Damn. Amber know? Mom and Dad?”

Colt gave a slight shake of his head. “No one does yet.”

“Why’d you call me this morning if she was here? Were you hoping I’d stop by before she left or while y’all were still in bed? Were you hoping to rub it in my face that you came out on top?”

“Came out on top? Oh hell, Russ. You’re not still talking about the company, are you? You didn’t want Daddy’s business. I offered you and Amber each a third when he turned it over to me, but you didn’t want it. As for Chrissie, no, I didn’t want you to catch her here or catch us in bed together. I asked you to come around eleven, not ten And I asked you to meet me downstairs.”

Russ flushed, and it wasn’t a look Colt had ever associated with him. Russ was always so in-your-face and didn’t hide anything. He walked in a room like he owned it, and Colt had no doubt that’s what made Russ so good at his job. But this…? Finding Chrissie with Colt and finding out that Colt and she had something going on seemed to have thrown his brother for a loop.

Colt could understand that.

“I had a last-minute meeting schedule with me at eleven. I didn’t think you’d mind if I showed up early. I guess I was wrong.”

“No. I don’t care that you got here before she left. It saved me from having to tell you later, but I didn’t want it for her. She seemed a little freaked out.”

“This is such a f*cking mess.”

“I don’t see why that is. You said you were over her, and she’s over you.”

“Maybe I want her back,” Russ tossed out defiantly.

“Good God.” Colt ground his teeth together until a muscle began to tick in his jaw. He even counted to ten in his head. Russ was pushing for something and he guessed he could understand that. They’d never competed for anything, not their father’s affections, not women. “Why? Because you’re pissed that I have the hots for your ex?”

“Careful, Colt. Little unsure of yourself? You ’fraid you’ll lose?”

“This is ridiculous. We’re grown men, and you goddamn left her.” Colt and Russ had never had an all-out fight over anything. They were both fairly easy to get along with, but Colt itched to ball up his hand into a fist and slug the hell out of his brother.

“Are you?”

The goading tone didn’t help matters. “No, Russ, I’m not. I’m not afraid she’ll choose you over me.”

“I was here first.”

“You know what? Go for it. You want her back, you go ahead and try.”

“Not much of a challenge there. You don’t give up like that, Colt.”

“No, I don’t, and I didn’t say I was giving up now. Why are you spoiling for a fight? Do you want to hit me? Will that make you feel better? ‘Cause it would sure make me feel better to clock you. I said go for it. It’s up to Chrissie, not us. I’ve been honest with you. What more do you want?”

“You never told me why you called.”

Colt scoffed at the switch of topic and tone of voice. “Nice change of subject. I wanted to see you before I flew home. I have a meeting before I head back to Atlanta. Thought we could have lunch and catch up.”

“Sorry man.” Russ seemed to lose some of his puffed up attitude. “I… Seeing Christina here completely threw me. I was not expecting that. I’ve never liked surprises. And no, you’re right. I’d have loved to spend the time catching up rather than baiting you because I was the dumb-ass. I can admit it.”

“We’re brothers, and under the circumstances, I can’t see how’d I’d have reacted any different. Between our work schedules and you avoiding the family since December, I thought if I was in town, you’d find a few minutes to see me.”

Russ looked at his watch. “I know. Look, I’ve got to go. I have to stop by my office before my meeting. When are you coming back to town?”

“In a week or two, maybe.” For all he knew, he’d have to wait a few more months. Chrissie might not want to see him again for a while. She might not want to see him again ever. The idea of that made his stomach hurt. He didn’t know if he should call her, and he didn’t think showing up at her job was the best thing either. He could delay his flight home until she got off work, but then maybe she needed some time.

F*ck, he didn’t know what to do.

“Y’all didn’t set it up?”

“No. We hadn’t set anything up.”

“I can’t believe you have the hots for my fi…ex-fiancée,” Russ corrected at the end. His smile was rueful, and Colt was more confused by the minute. He stood and slid his hands in his pockets and walked toward his brother. They were two strong, capable businessmen, stubborn, and pains in the ass, but even Russ seemed a little confused and at a loss. Two men, one woman. He was pretty sure this wasn’t how the fantasy was supposed to go for most women.

If Russ wasn’t over her, Colt wondered what either of them would do. Would he give up or would Russ? Would they make her choose or would one man be the better of the two and bow out?

At the same time, he wondered about Chrissie. He wondered if she was the forgiving kind. She had a big heart, tender, but when she was wronged, as she’d been by Russ…?

“Is that a bad thing, Russ? You don’t seem to know how you feel about it. I want her. I’m not ashamed of that fact. You dropped the ball. I picked it up and ran with it. I don’t intend to give her up unless she isn’t interested.”

“Not even if I wanted her back?”

“Not even then. You had your chance, and you blew it.” Colt meant every word he was saying. He was the fun loving, easygoing guy everyone loved and trusted. He didn’t get into arguments with people as a general rule. He solved issues, problems, but the one issue he hadn’t been able to fix was Chrissie’s wounded heart. Time did that. All he wanted was to make sure such a thing never happened again.

“I did. But I don’t want her back. I… She’s not even your type.” Russ studied him, and Colt stood up against the scrutiny. “Then again, maybe your type has been wrong all these years.”

“I know.” She was pretty and simple and down-to-earth and took what she wanted, which in those magical moments, had been him.

Russ studied him, and Colt stood up against the scrutiny. “Then again, maybe your type has been wrong all these years.” And she was different from most women he dated. She was pretty and simple and down-to-earth and took what she wanted, which in those magical moments had been him.

“Maybe so. She’s a unique woman, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her since the day I met her. But Russ, you’ve got to believe that I never hoped that this would happen.”

“Never?”

“Never. Not until she was free, that is. I never wanted anything more than your and her happiness, though.”

“Even if that meant she and I got married and lived happily ever after?”

“Even then.”

“In the end, you’re always the better brother and the better man. You know that, right?”

“It’s a tough burden, but I try my best.” Russ laughed at Colt’s words, and Colt was glad that he could do that for his brother, that he could ease the tension between them with a bit of humor. “You take care of yourself. Next time I’m in town, I’ll call you.”

“Deal. There actually isn’t a better man for her,” Russ offered as he walked toward the door.

“Thank you.”

“Just… It’s not a fling, right?”

“No. It’s something far different than a fling.” At the door, Colt pulled Russ in for a hug. “I’ve missed you, Russ. It’s been too long.”

“I know.”

Colt clapped his brother on the back as they parted. “It was good to see you.”

“Colt, I…I know you won’t, and I know you don’t need the warning, but don’t do to her what I did.”

“Not a chance. Unlike you, I want the relationship and commitment.”

“I know.”

“Can I ask though, why? Why did you do it?” Colt had wanted to know for months but hadn’t wanted to call Russ on the phone and ask. It needed to be done in person.

“I don’t have an answer to give you. I didn’t have one for Christina either. After I left the rehearsal dinner, turning her over to her family, I knew right then that I wouldn’t be meeting her at the church. I knew I wouldn’t be marrying her. I couldn’t bring myself to go back in the house and tell her though.”

“But Vegas?”

“I didn’t even home to pack. I went straight to the airport and bought a ticket to the one place I could think of. Sin City. I wanted to get lost and get drunk and forget what I was doing to a wonderful woman. I have no answer for you, nothing that’s going to make it better or make you understand. I only knew I couldn’t do it, that it wasn’t right. Knowing that seemed to make the wrong of running away not seem as bad as saving us both from a life we’d have been miserable living in the long run.”

“Thank you,” Colt said solemnly. You’re right. It really isn’t an answer, but thank you for trying to give me one.”

“You don’t need my blessing, but you’ve got it anyway. She is a special woman, just not in ways that I could appreciate. I’ve never turned away from anything before. No challenge was too big for me to take on. Marrying her would have been the first. I hope she can forgive me one day. Take care, bro.”

Russ’s parting words rang in Colt’s ears long after Russ closed the door behind himself.