“What do you need from me?” She asked me the same question I’d asked of her. “You’re the one who showed up in my class, remember? So what do you need?”
My throat tightened as I tried to swallow. “Absolution,” I whispered.
She just stared at me, her eyes swimming in tears. “For what?” she asked.
But I couldn’t answer that question, and as I stayed silent, she watched me, waiting, and then eventually shaking her head when I failed to respond. She finally climbed in the car and slammed the door shut behind her. I watched her leave, and when she was gone, I walked back inside, slamming the door shut as I cursed loudly.
“Fuck!”
I paced in the living room for a few minutes, my jaw tense as I tried to relax. When I snatched my phone up from where I’d left it on the window sill, I gripped it so tight my palm hurt. I downed half a beer standing in front of the open fridge door, and when my phone rang in my hand I just stared at it for a moment.
“Goddammit,” I muttered, swiping my thumb across the screen. “Yeah,” I said, forcing my voice to calm.
“This is Sadie Miller, head nurse over at Shady Oaks, and I just wanted to let you know of an incident that occurred shortly ago involving your father.”
I stayed silent, inhaling deeply rather than communicating.
“Mr. Thorson—?” she started to say.
“What did he do?” I cut her off.
“He… Well, he hit one of the nurses’ assistants. Broke her nose. He was very agitated, and we ended up sedating him. He’s resting fine now, but I just wanted to let you—”
“Thanks,” I mumbled. “If it makes you feel any better he broke my nose once too.”
Sadie was suddenly silent. “Uh… Umm…”
“I have to go. Thanks for calling.” And I hung up on her.
I didn’t bother setting my phone down. I closed my eyes, letting the cool air from the fridge prickle over my skin. When I closed the door, I dialed another number quickly.
“Well, hey, there. I was starting to think you’d forgotten about me,” Cassie said in way of greeting.
I had actually started to forget about her. But it had no real bearing on what I wanted now. “Sorry,” I lied. “I’ve been busy. Thought maybe you’d want to come over for a while tonight. I’m just working on the house. I could use a distraction. Maybe pick up a pizza on your way.”
“Use a distraction,” she repeated, her voice light and flirtatious. “You mean, use my *?”
I said nothing for a moment. “Yeah, as well as a couple other holes if you don’t mind.” My voice was oddly flirtatious considering how I felt inside.
She was silent for a moment. She should be offended. She had every right in the world to be offended, and if she was, I’d hang up the phone and call another number. It was kind of sick and twisted that I knew all of that, and yet, I was willing to do it. I needed to feel something better than what my life felt like right now. It was a very simple problem, and an even simpler solution.
“Sure,” she said, hiding her offense well or missing the fact she should feel it entirely. It didn’t really matter to me.
Chapter Five
Helene
Eleven Years Ago
“Yo, Hell,” Kane yelled over the kitchen counter. “You want onion and sausage, right?”
“Yeah.” I went back to scrambling around, trying to get the place squared away. I was ready to be done with this night.
I could hear Kane clanking around in the kitchen, and I knew he was tossing pizza grates up onto the shelf without even looking. I entered the walk in fridge that ran behind the built in beverage cases, and I started restocking as quickly as I could, peering out between the wire shelves to make sure no customers were walking in last minute.
Kane walked by toward the front door with a bag of garbage in his hand, and I faintly heard the bells on the door tinkling out their sound as he exited. I busied myself with restocking until all the shelves were full for the next day. And when I walked back out, it was just as the bells on the door jangled out again.
“You’re not burning my pizza are you?” I asked as I rounded the end of the aisle near the front door. But my gate stopped instantly when I saw Kane standing there with a man behind him. It was the same man who’d been in the store less than thirty minutes before, and he held a knife to Kane’s neck.
A vibrating pulse of terror coursed through my body, radiating out from my heart, and I inadvertently clasped my hand to my chest as though I could make it beat again.
“Wha…wha…what—”
“Lock the fucking door.” When I didn’t move quickly enough, the man’s face pinched in anger. “Now, you stupid cunt!” he yelled.
I pulled the keys from my pocket, my hands trembling so much I could barely grasp the ring.
“It’s okay,” Kane said softly as I stumbled toward the door.