Kane.
I sat upright, got up from my bed, and walked out of my bedroom and down the hallway to the door. I opened my door without looking through the peephole because I knew who it would be.
He walked into my apartment and closed the door behind him. I turned and walked over to my kitchen table. I rooted for the tube of lipgloss Keela left in my bag, and for my tube of super glue.
“What are you doing?”
“Adding glue to Keela's lip gloss.”
Let's see her trick me again.
Kane stared at me for a moment then asked, “Why?”"
“Have your ever head the term 'some people need glue stick instead of chapstick'?”
Kane nodded. “Sure.”
“Well, that term applies here. If Keela won't shut her mouth, I'll shut it for her.”
Kane blinked. "You can be quite scary sometimes, you know?”
“Even the nicest people have limits, Kane.”
He swallowed. "Noted.”
I sighed.
“What are you doin’ here?” I asked Kane as I put both tubes back into my bag and turned to face him.
“I needed to see you.”
I folded my arms across my chest. “Why?”
Kane stuffed his hands into his jean pockets. “I’ve to get my insulin shot... and I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.”
I ignored his diabetes for a minute.
I raised my eyebrow. “Are you really sorry?”
He set his jaw. “Why did you let him kiss you?”
That was a no then.
“He kissed me cheek because he is a friend who was congratulatin’ me on me pregnancy.”
Kane blinked. “Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.”
He avoided looking me in the eye then. “I thought it was your lips he kissed.”
I shook my head. “You know you and I aren’t together, right? That means other men could kiss me if I allowed it.”
Kane growled, “Stop it. You’re just trying to make me mad.”
“No, I’m not. I’m tryin’ to make you understand that you can’t just attack people, Kane.”
He blinked. “I don’t usually. I usually keep to myself, but then you happened.”
I scowled. “What does that mean?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know what it means. I just know I don’t want you with other people. Men, women... anyone. I can’t explain it. I’m used to keeping to myself, so now that we’re tied together with the baby, I want to keep you away from people, too. I know it’s stupid and crazy, but I can’t help it. It’s just how I am. I don’t trust people, Aideen, especially not with you and our baby.”
Just remember how difficult this is for him.
Nico’s voice sounded in my mind and caused me to sigh out loud.
“So, what?” I asked. “You don’t want me to talk to anybody? You know I’m a teacher, right?”
He frowned. “I know that. I mean outside work... Who else do you want to talk to besides my brothers and the girls?”
I shrugged. “Skull.”
Kane gritted his teeth.
I pointed my finger at him. “He is me friend and, to be honest, I’m closer to him than I am to you. I’ve known him for years, Kane.”
The muscle in his jaw rolled back and forward as he ground his teeth together.
“I don’t like him.”
That pissed me off.
“You don’t even know him.”
“I know that he knows you... all of you. I don’t like that, so therefore I don’t like him.”
“Oh, my God,” I groaned and rubbed my eyes. “You’re confusin’ the hell out of me.”
“I’m sorry.”
I looked at Kane and saw he really was sorry, even though he didn’t truly know what he was doing wrong.
“What do you want?” I asked. “I want to make us both happy. Just tell me what you want.”
Kane raised his eyebrows. “It’s not obvious what I want?”
“Not to me.”
He blinked. “You, Aideen. I want you.”
What?
“What do you mean you want me?” I asked, dumbfounded.
“You aren’t stupid, you know what I mean.”
I did, but my mind refused to believe it unless he said it.
“We just became real friends,” I protested.
I didn’t know why I was protesting—I told Keela I’d give things a go with Kane. I wanted to give things a go with him, I was just getting caught up in a stupid argument and straying from what needed to happen for my sanity as well as Kane’s.
Kane shrugged. “I just want to try being with you. I’ll probably be a shitty boyfriend, but what if we don’t put a title on us and just... hang out?”
I tilted my head. “Let me get this straight. You want us to be together in a relationship without callin’ it a relationship?”
“Exactly.”
“Why?”
“Less pressure?” he sighed. “I don’t know. I’m trying to figure this out as I talk, babydoll.”