My eyes flicked to his neck then. “And the name on your neck?”
Kane looked down. “I refused to hurt a woman. She was a horrible person who drugged women who were trafficked into the compound. Her name was Jenna. She crossed Marco and he wanted me to hurt her, but I refused. Marco had me tied up with ropes and he carved his name into my neck, he branded me as his. It was to be a constant reminder that I was owned by him.”
That was why he hated the name Jenna.
I wanted to cry my eyes out.
I hated Marco Miles, and I was glad the son of a bitch was dead.
“Why would Marco do that?” I whispered. “Why would he stab you and hurt you so badly?”
Kane tensed for a moment. “You think Marco was the one who stabbed me?”
What?
“Wasn’t he the only man involved with you and your family?” I asked, confused.
Kane laughed, “I wish. I wish Marco was all I had to worry about, but no, Marco was the big boss of me, but he wasn’t the one who gave me jobs.”
Plural?
“So... who else gave you... jobs?”
Kane growled, “You already know who.”
I did?
“What? Who?”
Kane's voice was not his own when he snarled, “Big Phil. He was my old boss. He caused the scars. He caused the hurt.” He locked his eyes on mine and said, “He created me.”
“Big Phil?” I questioned. “The man Damien mentioned was comin’ to Ireland?”
Kane nodded his head. “Yeah. Him.”
“Wh-what did he make you do?”
Kane looked away from me then. “Horrible things.”
“I don’t want to make you relive anything, but can you tell me a little?”
Kane rubbed his eyes. “Big Phil was a clean-up guy. Marco ran everything and made the deals, but if deals were never fulfilled, Big Phil was the one to go and find out why. That means if someone never paid Marco the money he was owed, the clean-up crew went in to rectify that. It wasn’t just money; if someone did anything wrong to Marco, the crew went in. I was just under Big Phil in a chain of command with the crew. He said jump, I asked ‘how high’.”
Kane laughed, but it wasn’t humorous.
“I had to hurt people... pain was an easy way to get people to pay up.”
I stared at him, horrified at the life he lived. Kane looked at me and saw the mixture of sadness and disgust on my face, and he panicked.
“Please understand we all had a role to play, and this was mine. I was protecting my little brother, Aideen. I was afraid if I pulled back too much and didn’t do what I was supposed to do then Marco would kill Damien.”
“I understand,” I whispered.
I surprised Kane with my reply, but I surprised myself even more. I understood why Kane did what he did, and it was because I truly understood that he was doing horrible things to protect his brother. If I were put in a position to save one of my brother’s lives, I’d do it no matter what the cost.
To protect those we love, we’d do anything, regardless of the consequences.
“There were stubborn people though, people who didn’t want to pay back what they owed,” Kane said, then swallowed. “I had to hurt them in a different way.”
He stopped talking and I decided I didn’t need to know what way he meant. I could imagine the horrible things and I didn’t even fully know the extent of what he was forced to do, so I didn’t need a detailed description.
I then jumped to a question that was boggling my mind. “Why were you punished if you did your job? That doesn’t make sense to me.”
“Because I didn’t always do it.”
He didn’t?
“Why not?”
Kane looked at me, his eyes empty. “Because I hated every single second of it. I hated hurting people. I hated it.”
“Okay, baby,” I breathed and moved closer, hoping I offered some comfort to him. “I know you wouldn’t do any of what you told me out of your own free will.”
Kane’s eyes went dark, and the muscles in his jaw tensed.
“I do it out of free will now, but only if they’re scum.”
I blinked when he said that. He didn’t have to hurt people, yet he did it anyway, but this time they were bad people? To me, that sounded like he was trying to make up for all the bad he had done by trying to right a wrong in the only way he knew how.
I placed my hands on Kane’s tense face and forced him to look at me. “You do not need to do anythin’. You don’t need to hurt bad people to make up for hurting any innocent people. You’ve paid your debt. You don’t need to burden yourself with it anymore.”
“I just wanted to prove to myself that I’m not the monster everyone thinks I am,” he whispered. “If I stop even one scumbag, it’ll be enough.”
Oh, Kane.
“You did, honey,” I murmured as tears welled in my eyes. “You helped stop Marco. He was a horrible human being, and you stopped him. Who knows how much hurt, and how many lives, you saved by doin’ that?”