"You know you still have your helmet on, right?"
Rolly's eyes widened, and he lifted up his hands to his head, carefully. Then his face flushed, almost as red as the helmet. "Oh," he said, pushing it off. Underneath, his hair was matted down, and there were creases across his forehead. "Yeah. Thanks."
"No problem. I'll see you in a bit."
"Okay." Rolly put the helmet on the seat beside him, smoothing a hand over his head as Owen climbed back behind the wheel. As we backed away, I waved at him again, and he nodded, smiling, his face still slightly pink.
Once back on the main road, we drove for a moment before Owen said, "It's for his job. Just so you know."
"The helmet," I said, clarifying.
"Yeah. He works at this self-defense place. He's an attacker."
"An attacker?"
"The one people practice on," he told me. "You know, once they learn the techniques. That's why he has to wear padding."
"Oh," I said. "So… you guys work together?"
"No. I deliver pizzas. This is it, right?" he asked as we came up on the entrance to my neighborhood. I nodded and he put his blinker on, then turned in. "He does the radio show with me."
"Does he go to Jackson?"
"Nope. The Fountain School."
The Fountain School was an "alternative learning space," also known as the Hippie School. It had a very small student body and an emphasis on personal expression, and offered electives like batik and Ultimate Frisbee. Kirsten had dated several somewhat crunchy guys from there, back in the day.
"Left or right?" Owen asked as we came up to a stop sign.
"Straight. For a while," I told him.
As we headed farther into my neighborhood, not talking, I got the same feeling I'd had that morning with Whitney, like I should at least attempt to make conversation. "So," I said finally, "how'd you end up with a radio show?"
"It's something I've always been sort of interested in," Owen said. "And right after I moved here, I heard about this course they have at the station where they teach the basics. After you take it, you can write up a show proposal. If they approve it, they give you an audition and, if they like what you do, a time slot.
Me and Rolly got ours last winter. But then I got arrested. So that put us back a bit."
He said this so nonchalantly, as if he was talking about a vacation to the Grand Canyon, or attending a wedding. "You got arrested?" I asked.
"Yeah." He slowed for another stop sign. "I got in a fight at a club. With some guy in the parking lot."
"Oh," I said. "Right."
"You heard about it?"
"Maybe something," I said.
"So why'd you ask?"
I felt my face get hot. Ask a bold question, you'd better be prepared to answer one. "I don't know," I said. "Do you believe everything you hear?"
"No," he said. Then he looked at me for a moment, before turning back to the road. "I don't."
Right, I thought. Okay. So I wasn't the only one who had heard some rumors. It was only fair, though.
Here I'd had all these assumptions about Owen based on what had been said about him, but it hadn't occurred to me that there were stories about me out there as well. Or at least one.
We drove on in silence through two more stop signs. Then, finally, I took a breath and said, "It's not true, if that's what you were wondering."
He was downshifting, the engine grinding as we slowed to take a corner. "What isn't?" he said.
"What you heard about me."
"I haven't heard anything about you."
"Yeah, right," I said.
"I haven't," Owen said. "I'd tell you if I had."
"Really."
"Yeah," he said. I must have looked doubtful at this, because he added, "I don't lie."
"You don't lie," I repeated.
"That's what I said."
"Ever."
"Nope."
Sure you don't, I thought. "Well," I said. "That's a good policy. If you can stick to it."
"I don't have a choice," he replied. "Holding stuff in doesn't really work for me. Learned that the hard way."
I had a flash of Ronnie Waterman going down in the parking lot, his head bouncing off the gravel. "So you're always honest," I said.
"Aren't you?"
"No," I told him. This came so easily, so quickly, it should have surprised me. But for some reason, it didn't. "I'm not."
"Well," he said as we approached another stop sign, "that's good to know, I guess."
"I'm not saying I'm a liar," I told him. He raised his eyebrows. "That's not how I meant it, anyway."
"How'd you mean it, then?"
I was digging myself a hole here, and I knew it. But still, I tried to explain myself. "It's just… I don't always say what I feel."
"Why not?"
"Because the truth sometimes hurts," I said.
"Yeah," he said. "So do lies, though."
"I don't…" I said, then trailed off, not sure exactly how to put this. "I just don't like to hurt people. Or upset them. So sometimes, you know, I won't say exactly what I think, to spare them that." The ironic thing was that saying this out loud was actually the most honest I'd been in ages. If not ever.
"But that's still a lie," he said. "Even if you mean well."
"You know," I replied, "I find it really hard to believe you're always honest."
"Believe it. It's true."
I turned to face him. "So if I were to ask you if I looked fat in this outfit," I said, "and you thought I did, you'd say so."
"Yes," he said.
"You would not."
"I would. I might not say it that way, exactly, but if I thought you didn't look good—"
"No way," I said flatly.
"—and you'd asked ," he continued, "I'd tell you. I wouldn't just offer it up, though. I'm not a hateful person. But if you asked for my opinion, I'd give it."
I shook my head, still not believing him.
"Look," he said, "like I said, for me, not saying how I feel when I feel it is a bad move. So I don't do it.
Look at it this way: I might be saying you're fat, but at least I'm not punching you in the face."
"Are those are the only options?" I asked.