“She didn’t consider it cheating because it was simply physical. She loved me. She was committed to me.”
I scoffed. “Then her definition of commitment is different than mine.”
Jasper dropped his gaze to the sheet between us and something about the stiffness in his frame made my pulse rocket. Like he was dreading what he was about to tell me.
Oh, hell. Had he gone along with it? Was he okay with an open marriage?
“What did you do?” I asked, not sure I wanted to know the answer.
Jasper looked up and the agony in his gaze cracked my heart. “I took the woman to the guest bedroom. I don’t know why. Shock, maybe. Revenge. I was furious and thought maybe if I fucked another woman, Sam would get jealous.”
No. My stomach dropped.
“The woman started touching me,” he said. “She took off her clothes. Climbed on the bed. And I just stood by the door, staring at her, wondering when the hell my life had turned to such shit. So I left her naked in the guest bedroom and went to mine. Found Sam and that guy in the throes. Sam was on top, riding him like it was her job.”
I cringed, a fresh wave of loathing for his ex-wife coursing through my veins.
“She didn’t even stop when I walked into the room.” He huffed, shaking his head. I wasn’t the only one disgusted. “She just watched me, like it was a turn-on to have her husband see her fuck another man on our bed. So I walked to the closet, packed a bag.”
“You left?”
“Yeah. I drove to a bar. Got sloppy drunk. Slept it off in my car.”
Oh, Jasper. I wasn’t even sure what to say.
“I won’t share, Eloise.” Jasper locked his eyes with mine. “I won’t.”
I lifted my hand to cup his stubbled cheek. “I don’t share either. If another woman touches you, I’ll cut off her fingers and feed them to my dad’s dogs.”
That declaration came out so suddenly, I froze. There was no way he’d miss how much that had sounded like a claim. A commitment longer than two to three more weeks.
But Jasper only chuckled, that low, gravelly rumble. It was second place to that free, boisterous laugh I’d coaxed out of him earlier. Maybe if I was lucky, I’d hear that laugh again before he walked out of my life.
“What happened after the bar?” I asked.
“Went home the next morning. Found the house was clean. Smelled like laundry soap. Sam had washed the bedding. And she just pretended like nothing had happened.”
I blinked. “Seriously?”
Jasper nodded.
“What did you do?”
“Told her to get the fuck out of my house. And that she’d be hearing from my attorney.”
Pride swelled in my chest. Good riddance.
“It got messy after that,” he said. “Sam didn’t want a divorce. She kept trying to convince me this open marriage would be good for us. A chance to explore our base desires but stay together.”
“Of course she did.” I rolled my eyes. Bitch.
“That other woman? She lied. She told Sam and her husband that I fucked her.”
“No,” I gasped.
“Sam believed her. Still thinks it happened. She likes to hold that over my head.”
Because Sam was a spoiled, manipulative twat. No wonder Jasper rarely spoke about his past. Between his parents and his ex, I wouldn’t talk about them either. Assholes.
“Sam wouldn’t actually leave the house,” he said. “Even though it was mine. So I ended up being the one to move. I packed up what was important, it was less than I’d expected it to be, and left the rest behind. I put the house on the market without telling her. She came home from work one day to find a For Sale sign in front.”
“You have a vindictive side.” I giggled. “I like it.”
“So do I.” His eyes crinkled, that ghost of a smile. It dimmed too soon. “Sam is rather spiteful herself.”
“Uh-oh. What did she do?”
“Threw a tantrum. Told her parents and my parents that we were going through a rough patch, and that I refused to work on our marriage.”
“Did they know she was cheating?” It was cheating. If Jasper hadn’t wanted an open marriage, then everything she’d done was cheating.
He blew out a long breath. “I could have told them, I just . . . didn’t.”
“Why?” This woman had used him, betrayed him, but he hadn’t put the blame on her. Why? The answer came to me before he could say it. “Because you loved her.”
“Something like that.”
Goddamn that stung, knowing a woman who hadn’t deserved him was the one who’d earned his love.
Did he still love her? My heart couldn’t take that answer, so I didn’t ask the question. “Obviously, you got the divorce.”
“It took six months,” he said. “I didn’t want to be anywhere near her, and with Dan gone, it was easier to walk away. A friend of a friend had just moved to Vegas. Had met some UFC fighters. He knew of some gyms looking for trainers and instructors. It seemed like a hell of a good idea to move across the country. So I did and let my lawyer deal with Sam.”
“What about your parents?” I asked.
He shrugged. “They reacted as expected. Meaning they didn’t really give a flying fuck that their son was going through hell.”
My nostrils flared. “Tell me why we’re going to this wedding.”
At this point, I’d rather shove bamboo shoots up my fingernails than meet Samantha or his parents.
Jasper’s gaze dropped to the sheet and he plucked at the cotton. “For a long, long time, I was Samantha’s. She’s a very possessive person.”
“Yet she was okay with you screwing other women? How does that make sense?”
“Her game. Her rules.”
“That still doesn’t make any sense but whatever.” I’d already expended more energy toward that woman than she deserved for breaking his heart. I wasn’t going to attempt to understand her motivations.
“Sam has rarely had people tell her no. Not her parents. Not even me. She’s . . . stubborn. She’ll push and push and push until she gets her way. I learned a long time ago, it was just easier to let her have it than fight.”
Was that part of why he’d taken that woman into their guest bedroom? Probably. I shuddered, using every ounce of mental strength to shove the images of Jasper with any other woman out of my head. Sam included.
“When I walked away from her, she lost. The battle is over. But she’s still fighting.”
“What do you mean?”
“Sam and I still talk.” He swallowed hard. “She calls me.”
“And you answer? Even though she’s getting remarried. Even though you’re divorced. Why?”
“It’s, um, toxic.”
No shit. “What exactly do you mean, toxic?”
It was probably foolish for me to ask. This was probably opening the door for him to tell me he would always be in love with her. But if they spoke, if I was going to this wedding, I had to know.
“Sam would call and ask about the women I was fucking. And I’d tell her. I’d tell her every detail, my own revenge. She’d ask me if I pictured her face while I was inside another woman.”
I gasped. “That’s—”