Ben kissed the tousled black hair, holding on, inhaling Jonah with every breath. “Jay, my Jay.”
“I’m so sorry I’ve done this to us. I wish I’d done everything differently. Except meeting you. I did that right.”
Ben kissed him again. “I love you, Jay, and I will do the time for you, and if you won’t let me do that then I’ll…I’ll be waiting at the gates when you come out. I promise.”
“Be there.” Jonah’s hands gripped his forearms. “If I know you’ll be there, I’ll be fine. I’ll probably be running the place by the time I leave, anyway.”
“Of course you will.” Ben imagined Jonah, in prison, helpless and crippled, his charm and good looks doing him no good at all. His mind flinched from the thought.
There was a tentative knock on the door some half an hour later: Dora, with a tray of food. Ben had Jonah sprawled over him. Neither of them could summon up the energy to move. It was too late for that.
“Well.” Dora put the tray down. “I knew as you two was running from summat when you came here wi’ no luggage nor a hat to your heads. I thought I knew what that trouble was. Suppose I was wrong.”
“Suppose you were,” Jonah said, wearily.
“Not that wrong.” Ben would not deny Jonah now. “There’s just…more to it.”
“I see that.” Dora folded her arms. “How much trouble are you in?”
“All of it,” Jonah said.
“Listen, Dora, Jonah’s not a bad man.” It mattered to Ben that she should believe that. “He didn’t do half of what they say of him.”
“Oh, aye? And what about the other half?”
“It doesn’t matter any more,” Jonah said. “I’m sorry for bringing trouble on you, Dora, but they aren’t after you. Just do what Day says, and we’ll be gone tomorrow.”
Dora glared at him. “You were in my house, Jonah Pastern. With my children. Now, you tell me. What did you do?”
“Stole. I’m—I was—a thief. I stole, and I helped some very bad people do some very unpleasant things because they threatened Ben.” Jonah gave a helpless shrug. “I never stole from you, Dora. I haven’t stolen a ha’penny since Ben told me to stop.”
She sniffed. “Pity he didn’t say that earlier, sounds like.”
“He didn’t know. None of this is his fault.” Jonah’s smile was a watery shadow of itself. “You didn’t make a mistake taking us in, I promise. I wouldn’t have let you down. And Ben’s never let anyone down in his life.”
“I let you down. I should have stopped you, the night of the storm. That’s how they tracked us, isn’t it? Rumours of a windwalker. If I’d stopped you, Day wouldn’t have found you here.”
“And Harry Penrose and Aaron Tapley would be dead,” Dora said.
“I know.” Ben looked up at her. “You shouldn’t get in any trouble. You didn’t know you were harbouring fugitives—”
“I knew right well,” Dora retorted. “It’s why I didn’t pay you.”
“Well, say you didn’t know, about anything. We’ll say the same. They’re not interested in you and—she’s not in their jurisdiction, is she, Jonah?”
“Jurisdiction has nothing to do with it,” Jonah said. “This is private vengeance. I crossed the wrong people and they’re going to cripple me and then gaol me for it. My mistake. They won’t touch you, Dora, just do as they say.”
Dora’s lips tightened. She gave a short nod, turned on her heel and left without a word.
They held each other in silence for much of the night. It was hard to think of anything to say. Eventually Jonah went to lock the door, and undressed as Ben watched, memorising every inch of his compact, firm body, trying to drill the picture into his brain. Jonah came to him naked and helped Ben strip, shoving his shirt and vest over the iron chain since there was no other way to remove them. They kissed wordlessly, soft and hard, in the steady light of the warding candles that didn’t seem to burn down at all.
Ben wanted to remember everything. The wiry black hair on Jonah’s chest, the smell of his warm skin, the taste of his mouth, the feel of him as he worked his way over Ben’s body with tongue and fingers. They didn’t talk as Ben wrapped his legs around Jonah’s waist and felt the hard press of Jonah’s cock breaching him. The sensation was close to unbearable as Jonah moved inside him, almost without pleasure, because all Ben could think about was their parting. It hurt, and he wanted it never to end.
“Ben,” Jonah whispered, poised above him. “You’ll wait for me.”
“Always.”
“Nobody else?”