“I want to say this is really hard, but I know what your response will be.”
“It is hard. So hard. We can’t cock it up.” I joke, but it’s true. I was managing my feelings for Dex, and now he’s being thrust at me more than ever. “But every time you blame yourself for this situation, I can’t help thinking that’s your way of wanting to give up. I’m expecting you to change your mind and take the trade any minute. And that would be worse than if it got out.”
Dex turns to me. “I don’t want to take the trade. But I can’t stand the thought of you being dragged into whatever backlash if it happens. I’m an asshole.”
“Yes. You’re a complete monster. How dare you agonize over the possibility of hurting my feelings! You’re the worst!”
He hangs his head. “It would kill me if this hurt you, because I’m not lying when I say you’re the most important person in my life.”
“I know. And that’s why I think we need to let this go. I don’t blame you, and you can’t either. Husbands face things together, and that’s what we’re going to do.”
“Move on,” Dex murmurs.
“Yep. Starting with a night off from being married.”
“Uh, I don’t think that’s how marriages work.”
“Well, the thing about marriage is we get to choose what we’re allowed and not allowed to do in ours. And I say, instead of being husbands tonight, we need to go back to being best friends. We should focus on that instead of our ‘marriage.’”
“You don’t mean to hook up …”
“Fuck no.” As much as I love sex, I also hate knowing Dex is having sex with someone who isn’t me.
“Then how do we do that?”
“Margarita Mondays at that horribly decorated Mexican hole-in-the-wall that has amazing food.”
Dex finally gets some of his usual spark back. “Oh, I am in.”
While Dex scarfs his sixth taco for the night, I sit across from him, buzzing from all the margaritas.
This is exactly what we needed.
For the first time since this whole mess started, we actually feel like us again.
As long as I pretend not to notice the strange looks he occasionally throws my way.
“Okay, I have a question for you,” Dex says around a mouthful of food. “Would you rather have a one-night stand with a woman or have sex with the entire queer collective at the same time?”
I lift my drink. “I would rather drink this and not answer that question.”
“Is it because you’ve already done the second one?”
I choke on my drink. “I most certainly have not, fuckyouverymuch. I have standards.”
“I dunno. You’re married to me, so that doesn’t exactly back your theory.”
Hey, at least we’re joking about it now. “True. Let me ask you something, then. Would you rather a one-night stand with a guy or fuck the entire … oh, wait, having sex with multiple girls at once would be your dream. Ooh, I’ve got it. One-night stand with a guy or have sex with Sienna?”
Dex screws up his face. “One night with a guy. Hands down. Having sex with Sienna would be like having sex with Phoebe, and oh shit, I think I’m going to throw up all the tacos I just ate. You’re evil. At least my options weren’t mean.”
“Just because we’re all queer, that doesn’t mean we actually want to fuck each other. I have never, ever, ever had sex with any of them.”
“Wait. Not even Oskar?”
“Not even Oskar. We … we were never dating.”
Dex puts the rest of his taco back on his plate. “So that was … all an act?”
“Yes.”
“But the sex … I heard you.”
I down the rest of my drink. “Oskar always takes things too far. I’m sorry I didn’t put a stop to it.”
“You went along with it though. I don’t … I don’t understand.”
I pick my words carefully. “They were concerned that we spend too much time together.”
“What?” Dex has never sounded more confused. “That’s not possible.”
“Well, this funny thing can happen with little gay boys called the Straight Best Friend, and they wanted to make sure I didn’t, uh, fall for you. They wanted to make sure I wasn’t getting things confused between us.”
He gives a hollow laugh. “And now we’re married.”
“No. Nope. We’re moving on, remember? No guilty tone. Now, can we please forget how it got started?” And I must sound convincing enough, because he grins.
“Lucky for you, my brain doesn’t like to retain information, so it’s already gone. You’re sorry, I’m sorry, we’re all sorry.”
“Good. Now.” I tap my chin. “This one-night stand with a guy thing. Would you rather fuck Coach Roland or Graham?”
“Now you’re being pure fucking evil,” he grumbles.
“Wait until you see where I’m dragging you next. There’ll be endless possibilities for your choice to actually happen.”
Dex’s face lights up. “You’re finally going to take me to Rump?”
Rump is my favorite gay bar in Vegas, and Dex has asked to come with me before, but once I tell him I won’t be there long, just long enough to find a hookup, he leaves me to myself.
I love it because of the decent hookups and cheap drinks. And by cheap, I mean the cheapest on the Strip, so still really, really expensive. “Yep, you’re taking your husband dancing. And seeing as I’m probably not allowed to grind up on other dudes, you’re going to have to endure it.”
“Grind up on me anytime, baby.”
I was right. Taking the night off from our marriage to become best friends is exactly what we needed. And the very thing that always gets me hurt.
But by this point, I hurt when I’m with him. I hurt when I’m without him.
There’s nothing else I can possibly do.
Fifteen
DEX
It’s impossible to be down or confused when you’re full of margaritas and tacos. Tripp’s suggestion for us to go out was genius, and now, as we wait in line for Rump, I can finally relax. Things this afternoon have almost been back to normal, and I didn’t realize exactly how empty I was until now.
The pressure of being married has gone to my head, and it’s sad that we’re closer and more affectionate as best friends than husbands. But if we have a whole year of this ahead, we’re sure as hell going to make it work.
A trade isn’t an option.
“Would you rather,” I start, “nipple piercing or dick piercing?”
“Nipple for me, dick for the guy I’m with.”
Well, that’s something I’ve never considered. “Is that … does it make a difference?”
“Yes.”
“I know with chicks it helps hit the—”
“Same thing for dudes, just different location.”
Oh. “Huh. I hadn’t thought of that before.”