Adam held up his hand, effectively silencing me. “What do you want, Lizzy? You want a divorce?”
“Yes. And, the restraining order. I don’t want him to be able to come near me. Or anyone else here.”
He regarded her silently. “I have to ask again. Are you certain you don’t want to press charges? You are absolutely certain about this? What do you want me to do with your evidence?”
Lizzy shook her head. “No. I want a divorce. I want him out of my life. I never want to see him again.” She drew in a deep breath. “Use the evidence to get the divorce on my terms.”
“Rabbit,” I began, wanting to change her mind. I was still shocked at her announcement of not wanting to press any charges against him. Why was she doing this? I didn’t understand.
She shook her head firmly. “No, Joshua. I’ve thought about this. What will it get me? A lot of press and more humiliation.” She paused briefly, her voice trembling. “I’ll have to relive it all, talk about it, be in a courtroom with him staring at me, listening to his lies, making me feel like nothing again.” She stood up and began pacing, her hands wringing. “I can’t do that, Joshua. I don’t want to.” She stopped and stared at me beseechingly. “I know you’re angry with me about this. Please don’t be. I can’t, Joshua. I just … can’t.” Her voice dropped. “Please understand. I just want to move forward with you. Please let me do that.”
I stood up instantly, and pulled her into my arms. “Rabbit, I’m not mad. I could never be mad at you. I just hate to see him walk away after everything he put you through. He deserves to go to jail,” I implored quietly.
Rabbit looked up at me. “I don’t care what he does or where he goes as long as I’m not with him.” Her eyes bore into mine. “As long as I’m with you.”
I searched her eyes and then nodded in defeat. She had made up her mind. As much as I hated it, I would never force her to do something she didn’t want to do. I would support her, no matter what.
Adam spoke up. “Lizzy, come back and tell me what your terms are. Let me help you. Can you do that?”
She nodded wearily. I held her a little tighter and then guided her back to her chair.
Adam smiled at her. “Thank you.” He paused for a drink of coffee. “I would very much like to take your case and handle this scumbag for you.”
Rabbit leaned tiredly against me, exhausted from the emotional conversation. I knew she couldn’t take much more today.
At one point, earlier, I couldn’t take her trembling anymore and had pulled her onto my lap quietly asking Adam for a break. He had immediately stood and gone down the hall. I heard the bathroom door close and knew he was allowing us a private moment. I had looked down into Rabbit’s paler than normal face. “Do we need to stop, Rabbit? Is this too much?” I whispered into her hair as I gently ran my hands up and down her arms.
She shook her head. “No. I’m okay, Joshua. It’s just so … difficult.” She shrugged, unable to come up with the right word.
I kissed her forehead. “You’re doing so well, Rabbit. It’s almost over.”
We had sat quietly, her head resting on my shoulder until Adam reappeared. He stood for a minute looking at us. “We can stop if you want,” he had said kindly. “But if we can get all this out, we’ll be ahead of the curve. Are you up for continuing, Lizzy?”
My girl nodded and, regretfully, I had let her move back to her chair.
Now I was regarding her with worry. I wasn’t sure how much more she could take today.
“Tell me what you want, Lizzy,” Adam urged quietly.
“I want a divorce; and I want it over as quickly as possible. I want Brian to go for counseling. And, I want a five million dollar settlement to go directly to the different organizations in Toronto that deal with abused woman and children.”
“Why counseling instead of jail, Lizzy?”
She shrugged. “If he lost the case, and even with what we have it’s still an if, what good would possible jail time do? Make him angrier and even more inclined to hurt people? Maybe with counseling he will realize what he has done, and, never do it to another person.”
I pulled her closer. She had obviously been thinking about this a lot.
Adam looked at her quietly. “What if he refuses?”
Lizzy sighed in frustration. “Then I will let you press charges.” She slumped forward. “But it’s not what I want, Adam.”
“Joshua is correct in his observations, Lizzy. You are a very smart woman.” He tapped the small pile of evidence we had assembled. “And, he’s right. Brian James is a bully. Unless I’m greatly mistaken, he’ll do anything not to let this leak out.”