“It started before we even got home. He was so angry; cursing and hitting me in the limo. He had never done that before. The screen was up, so the driver didn’t see him, and when we got back to the house he pulled me out of the car before the driver had barely stopped. I knew … I knew I was in for something much worse once we were in the house. Alone.”
I tightened my grip on her hands. “Tell me,” I urged quietly, dreading what I was about to hear, but knowing I had to hear it. She had to get it out.
“He dragged me upstairs. It was the weekend so there were only a couple staff around and they never saw us. Once we were in my room, he … he was like someone possessed, Joshua.” She shivered and her head dropped to my chest. I held her closer, feeling my own eyes begin to burn.
“He grabbed me and shook me so hard I thought his hands would go right into my skin. I felt like he was actually crushing my bones, the pain was so intense. He screamed and cursed as he hit me, not even caring that these marks would show. I fell and he just kept going. He tore my jacket and the blouse, and then started … using his feet as well as his hands. He hit and kicked me everywhere.”
I could feel the tears now soaking my shirt. My own were running into her hair but I refused to remove my hands from around her trembling form to wipe them away.
“I truly thought I was going to die. I couldn’t get him to stop no matter how much I cried and pleaded with him. It was as if he couldn’t hear me. Then … his phone rang. And, he stopped. It was like he woke up. Whatever the phone call was about made him leave ... but he said he would be back. I knew it was time and that I had to go or I wouldn’t survive when he got back.”
“How did you manage it, Rabbit? You were so injured.” I shuddered, remembering her horrific bruises and painful-looking imprints I had seen scattered all over her body.
“Terror-induced adrenaline I think. I somehow got up and threw some new exercise clothing I had bought for the gym into a bag and added my secret journal and a few other things ... as well as my small stash of cash I had been saving for two years. I knew I had to get to my car I had left with a friend and drive. Tracy was away, but I knew the car was there. She always let me know it was there if I needed it. And, I had to go. Right then. It was my only chance. I had to get away, as far away as possible. I had no plans past that. Just getting away.” She shifted a little and shrugged. “I left the house out the back way so nobody would see me, and got to a main street and got a taxi to the subway, then made my way to Oakville. I kept my face hidden, and with the storm coming, the subway and buses were fairly deserted. No one even looked at me. I didn’t want to take a cab all the way there in case Brian tried to find me and figured out Tracy had my car all along and put her in any danger.” She sighed and was quiet for a moment.
“And then, I just started driving. When it started to snow, I kept going. I lost track of time, I didn’t even have a destination in mind. I just had to put as much distance between us as possible. When it got really bad, I didn’t care. I decided I would rather die trying to get away from him than let him kill me. Because I knew if he caught me, he would never forgive me. So I just kept driving. My car spun out of control at one point and somehow I ended up on your road and your driveway and I hit your tree.”
She looked up at me.
“And then … you found me.”
I nodded, stroking her cheek. “Thank God.” I breathed, feeling the tears still streaming down my face.
Her face crumpled and the dam burst. The sobs tore out of her painfully. Her breathing consisted of agonisingly sharp gasps and painful whimpers. Her arms wound around my neck, holding me so tightly, it actually hurt. But I let her hold me and I held her back. I rocked her, telling her over and over again how much I loved her. How brave she was to have had the courage to escape. How incredibly strong and amazing she was to have persevered and survived. I knew they were just words.
There was nothing else I could say that would make this easier or better. She needed to let the pain out and I would hold her while she fell apart.
Then I would pick up the pieces and help put her back together.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Joshua
Eventually, Rabbit’s tears ended. I gathered her close to my chest and walked down the hall to the bedroom, her body wilting and soft in my arms. Carefully, I sat her on the bed and went to get a damp cloth. When I returned, the sight of her sagging shoulders, gently rounded into her frame caused my heart to ache once again. She looked so broken. I shook my head. Not anymore.