I blinked and realized Kate was looking at me. I had totally missed what she was saying. “Sorry, Kate,” I apologized, having just demonstrated exactly the kind of behavior Brian would want to see to prove him right. “I was just … thinking,” I shrugged self-consciously.
She smiled in understanding and patted me on the arm. She then told me they had purposely kept my schedule light for the next couple weeks so I could ease back in. I thanked her and she left me in my office, promising to come back and check on me soon. Bob was down the hall where he had a clear visual on anyone coming or going in the area.
I looked around, soaking in the familiar room. There were piles of books on every surface and pictures that the children I read to had made for me on the walls. I loved the clutter. I knew Brian never came here so I was able to leave it the way I liked it. I could see Bob glancing my way so I made a show of looking around and inspecting the things around me like I didn’t recognize them. Then I sat down at my desk and turned on the computer.
My first goal was to try and locate Joshua. Unsure where to start and not wanting to look overly eager, I forced myself to pay attention to other tasks that were waiting on my desk as well. Once I was sure Bob had grown bored with watching me shuffle papers and tap on the keyboard, I took the list of ideas I had out of my pocket and started searching. I kept stealing glances at him, but he was far more absorbed in the contents of his phone than what I was actually doing now that I was at my desk.
Joshua was very good at hiding. There were lots of articles on him, but no recent pictures. There were a couple of grainy ones from when he was much younger and even those images my eyes drank in greedily. All of his interviews were voice or print only and there were very few personal details that I could find. Unable to resist, I plugged in my earphones and listened to a brief interview. Just hearing his warm voice brought tears to my eyes, and I had to blink them away when Kate appeared in my door to see if I wanted coffee. I quickly cleared my browser history, grabbed my mug and joined her. Bob only followed to the end of the hall and watched as we entered the staff lounge. I sighed as I poured a cup of coffee, already feeling the strain of the day.
“You okay, Elizabeth?” Kate asked quietly.
I nodded. “Just trying to find my feet, you know?”
She nodded kindly. “I’m glad you’re back.”
I forced a smile. “I am as well.”
Later that evening, I climbed the stairs slowly. I was so tired. I had spent the day trying to appear to work while also attempting to find a way to contact Joshua. Hitting dead end after dead end, I finally wrote to both his publisher and agent, begging that they contact him with a brief message from me.
Rabbit needs you.
I had no idea if the messages would be forwarded, but I had to try. I sent both via regular mail since I wasn’t sure if my email account was being monitored.
Then, I attempted to find both Trevor and Cecilia, but was shocked to find out how many lawyers there were in the general area with the name of Trevor Jones. I didn’t even know if he practiced in Toronto or one of the many outlying cities. It was going to take a while. The next time I was back at the library, I planned on trying to figure out the name of the care home and the location I had supposedly stayed in. I didn’t have access to a computer at the hospital the way I did here. I had more information at least knowing Dr. Tate’s first and last name and the name of the neighbouring town. Surely, there couldn’t be many Dr. Tates in Hunstville. But again, it was going to take time and I had to make sure I didn’t arouse any suspicion while searching. I didn’t want to give Bob any reason to suggest to Brian that I be monitored even closer.
My attempts to figure out what the pills were came up with very little. I needed to get a look at the actual bottle. A general search came up with nothing. I wondered if I dared look in Brian’s room for the bottle when he was out. I shuddered, thinking what could happen if I was discovered, and I decided to put off that idea for the time being.
Then I turned to the card. Nothing I tried made sense. I checked maps, atlases, phone numbers, even license plates, but found no answers. I paused briefly and then searched the memory stick but found only the pictures Joshua had taken of my injuries. There was nothing else on it. My stomach clenched as I looked at the pictures and I quickly closed the window. I sat with my head in my hands.
He said I would figure it out. But if I couldn’t figure it out; how could I let him know how much I needed him?
Oh, Joshua.
I heard Bob approaching and I sat up immediately. He appeared in the door and announced the car was here to take me home. I nodded and picked up my purse. “I just need to stop by the desk,” I said quietly. They were holding something there for me.