Pause.
“Do you hate me, Regan? Leave our history out of it. Think about the last several months.” Casey paused. “Now, do you hate me?”
“I could never hate you,” Regan said. “You’re my best friend.”
Casey blinked. A single tear traversed her cheek.
“Still?”
“Still.”
They stared at one another until the kettle screamed. Regan poured Casey a fresh cup and handed it to her.
“Thank you,” Casey whispered.
Regan smiled. “Sugar?”
“No, I meant thank you for not hating me,” Casey said.
Regan thought a moment. “Did I really control our friendship?”
Casey shook her head.
“I feel like what you said was partially true—that I have a tendency to dictate.”
“You didn’t dictate my life. I chose to be your weird friend and have weird clubs with you and talk about weird shit all the time.”
Regan chuckled.
“And I loved it. I keep going over and over this in my brain. Why did I wake up one day in middle school longing to be part of the very group that picked on me so much? What was I looking for? I can’t blame it on feeling lost because of my parents. Yeah, they were fighting then, but there was no mention of divorce yet.”
Regan listened.
Casey chewed her nail. “I thought there would be opportunities. You know? Being able to have experiences I wouldn’t have had if I remained on the outside.”
Regan nodded.
“Is that how you felt?”
“No,” Regan said. “I was just tired of fighting. I gave up and gave in.”
“It wasn’t always so bad, though, right? I mean, did we completely ruin high school for ourselves?” Casey asked.
Regan shook her head. “No, but I do think it could have been a hell of a lot better.”
Casey considered this. “I wanna be better.”
Regan automatically thought of Hannah’s response to her same statement many months ago.
“Then just do it. Be better.”
Casey furrowed her brows, and then her face lit up. She nodded, and Regan watched her lips spread into a brilliant smile. It was a smile that said, “Today, I’m changed.”
“I’m not scared,” she said defiantly. “I’m not.”
“I believe you,” Regan replied.
“And I’m gonna make it right,” Casey went on. “I don’t know how, but I’m slated for Brown. I can figure this shit out.”
Regan laughed.
“Regan, it wasn’t even hard to break free—to let go. It wasn’t even hard. The moment you walked away, I wanted to walk away, too. I was too scared then. But once I made the decision on my own, it was so easy. It was like coming up for air.”
Regan lifted her palm. “Come on. Slap it.”
Casey laughed and smacked her hand.
Regan moved to the sink to wash the tea cups. Casey hopped up and grabbed a tea towel to dry.
“Wanna spend the night?”
“You want me to?” Casey asked.
“Well, don’t you think we’ve got a lot of catching up to do?”
Casey nodded. “Tons.”
Regan handed her a clean spoon to dry.
“I think it’s great you’re dating Jeremy,” Casey said, dumping the spoon in the appropriate drawer.
“You do?”
“Mmhmm. You’re both kind of weird. It fits. Plus, you seem to really make him happy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile at school until you started hanging out with him.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. What are these special Regan powers you have?” Casey asked.
Regan thought a moment then sang, “It’s the power of love.”
“Oh my God, you’re such a dork,” Casey said.
And then she flung her arms around her friend, nearly choking her with that power—the power of love. Regan hugged her back just as hard.
“Wanna watch Back to the Future?” Regan asked.
Casey released her and headed for the pantry. She rooted around until she found the box of popcorn, holding it up for Regan to see.
“One bag or two?”
***
“I love it,” Casey said, watching Regan twirl around.
“The leg warmers, too?”
Casey eyed Regan’s neon pink leg warmers and nodded. They were bunched around her calves, overlaying ankle boots and black tights. She paired the bottom half of her ensemble with a short, black sequins mini skirt and silver metallic bomber jacket.
“You look like a disco ball,” Casey said.
“Precisely what I was going for,” Regan replied.
Casey glanced at the bedroom door.
“Is he on his way?” she asked. She pulled nervously at a loose thread on Regan’s quilt.
“Relax,” Regan said.
“Ha! Relax. Yeah, um, okay,” Casey replied.
Just then a knock sounded on the door.
“Come in!” Regan called, and Jeremy opened the door, peeking his head inside.
He was smiling. And then he noticed Casey.
“I knew this was a really bad idea,” Casey mumbled.
“Nonsense,” Regan said, walking over to her and taking her hand. “Jeremy, you remember Casey.” What a ridiculous thing to say.
“Uh . . . yeah,” was his reply.
“And you remember how we were best friends before our falling out.”
He said nothing, eyeing the girls warily.
“What you don’t know is that we made up,” Regan went on.
“Why?” The word came out as an accusation.
“Because I apologized,” Casey said softly. “And meant it.”
Jeremy clenched his jaw.
“And I believe her,” Regan added. “We all make mistakes. I realized I made a ton of mistakes in our friendship.”
He stared, nonplussed.
“I’m not comparing our mistakes,” Regan explained. “I’m just saying that no one’s perfect.”
“She dropped you. She ignored your existence at school. She turned her back on you,” Jeremy spat, glaring at Regan in disbelief.
“I know that,” Regan replied, gripping Casey’s hand tighter.
“She tortured the hell out of Hannah!” Jeremy continued.
“I know,” Casey said.
“Don’t talk,” Jeremy barked. “Ever.”
“Jeremy,” Regan chided.
“I just don’t understand you, Regan. You finally made it out! What’s convinced you to go back? How did she convince you to go back? What did she say? What did she promise you?”
“Go back?” Regan asked, confused.
“Go back to them!” he roared.