Intaglio Dragons All The Way Down

chapter 13: Ripples Moving Back



Ava was in the shower, her body shaking with post-adrenaline jitters. The confrontation with Cole’s father left her feeling the same giddiness she’d once gotten after a close call with the police. She let the hot water sluice over her skin, surrounding her in a bubble of heat and noise. Soothing her.

Her eyes drifted closed; a vague image, hazy like the mist filling the bathroom, floated in the back of her mind. It was a dream she’d had, or a book she’d once read. She couldn’t quite remember when…

She’d been huddled on the docks for hours when he found her. Unlike her mother and sisters, Thomas knew she came here, and she knew he knew this… The sound of his footsteps had her heart quickening in anticipation.

“Your mam will tan your hide if you don’t get home before nightfall, y’know.”

His voice came from the distance, warm with hinted laughter, despite the warning.

“Mother can go right ahead and try,” she muttered sullenly, voice half hidden by her woollen cloak . “I would rather sit…”

Ava was pulled from her reverie by the sound of the bathroom door opening. She peeked past the curtain in concern, catching sight of Cole pulling off his clothes, kicking them into the corner. He had dark circles under his eyes, the tip of his nose red, fingertips purple, the rest of his skin muted by the cold.

“You’re back,” Ava said in surprise.

The last time he’d taken off, he’d been gone for hours. He’d hardly been gone forty minutes tonight. Cole shrugged sheepishly.

“Sorry I couldn’t talk to you right away,” he said bashfully. “I know I should’ve tried, but I just was so f*cking mad, and that always kind of freaks you out.”

She nodded. What he’d said was true. It was that aspect of his personality that unnerved her, though getting to know Frank Thomas had certainly put Cole’s anger into perspective. Undressed and shivering, Cole pulled back the curtain, letting in a blast of cold air as he climbed into the shower with her.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Ava said, moving sideways to give Cole room under the stream of water.

“Me too.”

He pulled her into his arms. Cole’s skin was icy from the winter air, his fingers clammy and cold. He burrowed his face against her neck, warming him while chilling her, the water pouring over them both. Her arms were tight around him. She was surprised he was back with her now, not quite sure what to make of it. But Cole had been trying lately, rather than shutting down altogether, and that made her chest ache with love for him.

She waited in silence, letting Cole’s chilled hands, the thrum of the water, the white noise of the shower tow her back into a hazy lull. The almost-memory was there, waiting in the clouds.

Thomas’ laughter echoed from the fog as he approached, and for the first time in hours, Ava smiled, despite her dark mood. She couldn’t see him through the rain, but his tread she’d know anywhere.

His footsteps turned hollow as he reached the dock. Ava turned, slipping back her hood to look over her shoulder. The sound of steps hinted at his nearness as Thomas came through the soggy blanket of mist, appearing by degrees. First a dark blue shadow, then lighter, then finally just him, smiling down at her despite the bedraggled sight she knew she must be.

He reached her side, dropping nimbly beside her. He was just far enough away to be appropriate, though the thought of that infuriated her. She wanted more.

“You’ve got everyone worried, Ava,” he said quietly. He was staring ahead, looking out over the wrinkled black sheet of the sea, the white crescents rising and falling with each gust. “You’ve got to go back now. Fight with your mam or no.”

Ava shook her head, turning to stare out at the ocean with him. She was glad it was still raining. He wouldn’t be able to see she’d been crying .

“If I go home, she’ll want to know...”

Cole’s hands began to roam her body, leaving Ava’s skin rising in gooseflesh under his fingertips. Despite the heat of the shower, a chill had settled into her body, cold leeching into her core. Cole’s mouth dropped against the white column of her neck, his hands running up her ribs to cup her breasts.

She shivered, mind drifting again…

The icy hand of rain had soaked through the cloak, chilling her.

“What exactly does your mam want to know?” he asked.

Ava glanced at him furtively from under rain-dampened lashes.

“My answer to Jon,” she said quietly.

Thomas knew Jon had asked her, of course. That was no secret. But he didn’t know she’d considered it. He turned, moving forward (nearing that space he never entered). Perhaps it was to hear her better, perhaps (she hoped) it was because it bothered him.

“What of it?” he asked. “What answer did you give?” There was a blunt desperation to his question, the joking tone gone.

He’d asked for her hand in marriage too. And she’d waited, so far...

Cole pressed her up against the wall of the shower, his fingers touching her everywhere at once. The cold tiles behind her meshed with the icy pall of his skin, the water from the faucet cooling as the shower lingered on. Cole’s mouth was the only point of warmth, and Ava gasped as he dropped lower, tugging one nipple into his mouth, his hands sliding over slick skin.

“I told him I would consider his offer,” she answered.

“Consider it?” There was indignation in every line of his face. His hands reached out, taking her by the arms and dragging her forward. “You promised ME!”

The accusation was a lash against bare skin.

“I HAD to!” she yelped. “My mother KNEW he asked me! She… she… insisted I think of things. Think of the future of my sisters and—”

“And what of OUR future?”

His eyes were wild and panicked, another lash of the whip. Thomas had spent every spare hour the last four months working endless odd jobs, trying to save money for passage to America. There, he said, they could start again. It would be their beginning. There it wouldn’t matter that they had not a single haypenny between them.

“I… I cannot WAIT any longer!” she cried.

His hands were tight around her arms, holding her in place. Shackling her.

“What of how you FEEL, Ava? What of that?”

“It does not matter what I feel!” she sobbed. “Not when we cannot—”

“It does!” he interrupted. “Does he make you feel like I do? Do you love Jon like you love me?”

“Thomas, please.”

He pulled her forward, his mouth angling nearer.

“You tell me THIS doesn’t matter,” he growled.

Ava moaned as the sensation of his mouth against her breast became too sharp, pain mingling with pleasure. She let her head thud against the wall, her body quaking under each brush of his fingers over her hip, between her thighs.

“Please,” she gasped, her mind still caught on the ghostly-memory of sitting in the rain, Cole’s mouth overtop hers.

At her plea, he released her nipple, sliding up against her, fingers threading into her wet hair. Her chest was tight with something… throat aching. The room was almost white with steam, his face hazy as he reached her lips.

“Please what?” he whispered, his hips against hers, leaning closer.

She wrapped her arms over his shoulders.

“Kiss me like you mean it.”

Suddenly Thomas was kissing her, his mouth hard against her lips. Gone were the chaste summer kisses in the lane behind the church. These were wanton and needful, a man’s kisses, not a boy’s. Ava gaped in shock. In a second his tongue was pushing into her mouth, dipping in to taste her, his fingers sliding into her hair, shoving back the cowl of the cloak in his haste. The rain against both their faces.

The sound of the shower pounded like the rain, heat slowly spreading between them. His mouth was against her, kissing her breath away. Their teeth and tongues were rough as they came together, need burning away the last of the chill. They were both out of breath when Cole pulled back, his teeth grazing the edge of her jaw, biting her skin and then suckling her earlobe.

“Love you, Ava,” Cole growled, his mouth hovering above the shell of her ear. “Always…”

“Love you too,” she panted.

In the last minutes, his fingers had finally warmed, lighting a path of fire where they touched her. He slid his hands underneath her, pinning her against the wall. Scrabbling for purchase, Ava hitched a leg over his hip as his body held her in place, connection nearing.

“Tell me what you want,” Cole growled against her open lips, punctuating his words with kisses.

She moaned in response. She could feel the heat of his body pressing against her, close but not joined.

“Tell me,” he insisted, kissing her, then pulling back to look at her. “I want to hear it.”

In the steam of the shower, his hair looked longer, flattened against his face like a cap. A wave of déjà vu had risen inside her, leaving her trembling, but not with cold.

“I… I want you,” she whispered.

The kiss was reckless and rough, months of suppressed desires suddenly released. Ava found herself moving into it – every hissed warning by her mother forgotten in an onslaught of need. She ran eager hands over his shoulders, the sodden cloak wrapping half over him as he tugged her onto his lap on the dock. She wouldn’t think anymore. Wouldn’t decide. She would just let herself feel… to follow her heart this time and nothing else. Even the rain no longer felt so cold.

‘Not with Cole here…’

She blinked in confusion. For a moment it seemed that she was somewhere else entirely, and then the feeling was gone. This was Thomas – ‘my Thomas’ – and he was kissing her – really kissing her – for the first time. He stroked her face, his eyes intent on hers, his gaze holding her in place.

“Tell me what you want of me, Ava,” he said.



Again the sensation rose inside her, that feeling that he’d said exactly this sometime before. She took a shaking breath, feeling everything – the rain, his body against her, her mother waiting at home, furious – all poised on this moment. Like a single drop of water poised atop a blade’s edge, able to go one way or the other, the moment shifted slightly. The decision changed.

“I… I want you.”

: : : : : : : : : :

They lay tangled in sheets, the steady patter of the rain outside wrapping them in a staticky buzz. Ava’s face was against Cole’s chest, listening to the steady thump. She ran a nervous hand up his ribs, pausing atop his heart. She should tell him.

“I uh... I should probably let you know I had a bit of a disagreement with your dad tonight,” she said timidly.

“You what?” Cole asked, his voice disbelieving.

“I kind of…” her voice dropped, “told him off.”

Cole did nothing at all, his whole body waiting silent, and then suddenly he was laughing raucously. Ava felt him shaking with mirth, the sound leaving her smiling.

“So, uh… that’s okay with you then?” Ava asked, shifting to prop herself next to him on the pillow.

“Marta keeps telling me I have to start standing up for myself. So I certainly can’t hold it against you.”

Ava nodded, tipping her face toward him, but he didn’t kiss her right away. He ran his fingers over her face, tracing her features the way he’d done when sculpting her, expression solemn.

“I love you, Ava,” he said, the palm of his hand resting against the curve of her chin.

She nodded.

“Love you too,” she answered, leaning her cheek into his hand. “I’m really glad you’re starting to talk to your dad. Even if it means yelling.”

Cole nodded, a pained look passing across his features like a cloud blocking the sun.

“We were talking about the time before Hanna died,” Cole began, his voice growing quiet, “Dad was giving the same old line about everything being great... just bullshit, all of it! This time though... this time I just called him on it. Told him I didn’t agree. That he hadn’t been there enough to even know.”

Cole’s arms curled around Ava, his face next to her ear, leaning against her as he talked.

“Dad just kind of freaked out. Refused to hear it. I told him how Mom used to be. About the way she was when he was gone… about her staying in bed all day, crying all the time, not being able to function. And then,” his voice broke, “Marta brought up the term ‘clinical depression’ and Dad just flipped. He started yelling, like totally lost it! He stormed out of the office. God, Ava, I was so upset. Marta wanted me to talk to her… about what had happened with Dad and I tried, but I was so f*cking angry. I was yelling too.”

His words disappeared and he turned his face against her hair. Ava felt his sobs. It was like his chest was ticking as the sound tried to burst out.

“Shh...” she whispered, hands running up and down his back, face next to his. “It’s okay. You did good, Cole. I’m proud of you. Love you.”

After a minute, his breathing returned to normal. He rubbed his face with one hand, eyes red.

“You’re pretty awesome, you know?” he said roughly.

Ava smiled, laying down against him once more, sleep tugging at her senses.

“Together, we’re pretty awesome,” she answered, lids dropping closed.