He slipped the key onto his key ring, and then paused for a moment, watching me. There was so much unsaid between us, and yet so much of that had no need to be said out loud. Our souls spoke, and understood every ounce of pain and hope stitched onto our hearts. Bending to place another kiss to my lips, he said, “I’ll see you tonight.”
After I’d watched him go, I sat on the stool to regroup. His belief in us meant so much to me. It had been unexpected, but I was the happiest girl in the world today.
* * *
My day after he left consisted of more sleep and then domestic goddess work. As much as I disliked housework, I had a good day, and was sitting on my patio with a glass of wine in my hand later that afternoon when Magan called.
“Hey, honey,” I answered as I took a sip of wine.
Silence.
And then a sob tore through the phone, and she managed to say, “Sophia…” and I knew something very terrible had happened.
I shot up out of the chair. “Where are you? I’m coming.” My heart raced in my chest, not knowing what had happened, but fearing something bad.
“At home,” she said in an almost whisper, her sobs coming harder now.
I was already in my kitchen with my car keys in my hand. “I’ll be there soon. Will you be okay until I get there, or should I phone an ambulance or…” Having no idea what she needed, I was at a loss. All I knew was I had to get there fast.
“I don’t need anyone. Except you.” The way she said those last two words slayed me.
I will hunt down whoever did this to her.
We ended the call and I headed out to my car. And I drove as fast as I could to get to my sister. We may not have grown up together or even known about each other until six months ago, but I would do anything for her. She was my only family, and family doesn’t let family down.
* * *
I found her curled up into a ball, sobbing on her bed. I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen anyone sob the way she was. Tears pricked my eyes as I realised how devastated she was over whatever had happened.
Sitting on the bed, I dragged her into my arms and held her. Running my hand over her hair, I remained silent while she let her hurt out. We must have sat like that for about half an hour, and when she finally told me what had happened, I knew the hurt and pain she was in would never leave her. This level of heartbreak would sit deep in her soul and cause wounds that would never heal.
I should know because I had those same wounds.
She lifted her head and looked at me. The tears still tracked down her face, and she just let them fall. It would have been pointless to even try to wipe them away because fresh tears would only replace them straight away. “Mum’s gone.”
Those two words pierced my heart, and I was sure it stopped beating for a moment. A shiver ran over my body as the cold chill of disappointment and abandonment filled me. Again.
“From the hospital?” I asked as I tried to swallow the dryness from my throat.
She nodded. “Yes. I went there today and she wasn’t there. When I asked the nurse where she went, they gave me an envelope from her…” A sob escaped from her lips, stealing her words.
“What was in the envelope?” I knew. Deep in my heart, I knew what was in that envelope, but I needed to hear it from her lips. Even after all these years, and all this hurt my mother had caused, I still clung to a tiny sliver of hope that she would change. That she would want me again. And asking silly questions like the one I’d just asked Magan proved how much I clutched that hope.
Agony crumpled her face. “A letter…she’s not coming back, and she told me that you and I should stick together because she can’t be what we need.”
She will never be what we need.
We stared at each other, sharing our pain for a minute or so, and then I pulled her to me, and said, “I’m so sorry, Magan.” I fought the tears rushing at me and swallowed my own sobs sitting in my throat.
I need to be strong for her.
Don’t break down.
Don’t you dare cry.
She cried for another long stretch of time while I held mine back. When she stopped, she lifted her head. “I thought this time was going to be different.”