He scowled. “Your father was a good man. So he believed in punishing his kids when they did something wrong…that didn’t make him a bad man.”
The ghosts of my past collided with the self-control I dedicated hours to daily. I stepped closer to him, and snarled. “Taking to a child with a belt over and over is not punishment for being naughty. Locking a child in a dark cupboard for hours isn’t either. And tying them up and ridiculing them sure as fuck isn’t written in the Good Parenting manual.” My head felt like it would explode off my shoulders as I got to the family history that fucked me up more than my own experiences. “Having to watch as your father did the same to your brother, but worse because he believed your brother was a little ‘cock-loving shit’ – as my father called him – was like a living hell. My father may have been respected by his cop buddies and adored by those higher, but in my house, there was no respect and no adoration for that man. And if you think Storm has made me into who I am today, you wouldn’t be far off the mark. My brothers have shown me what it’s like to have a family who give a shit about me and they’re teaching me to give a shit again.”
My cousin was an asshole. Growing up, we’d been close and he’d had my back, but I’d figured out a couple of years ago just how much the badge can change a man. I’d seen it at the academy in my time there, and my decision to leave was the best damn decision I’d ever made in my life. Danny stood in front of me now, listening to everything I’d said, but I knew the truth still wouldn’t alter his perception of my father. And I was right. “Why did you avenge his death then? If you hated him so much, surely you would have been celebrating his murder.”
“For a smart man, you can be dumb some times. I did that for my mother and brother.” Images of their tortured bodies flooded my mind, and I sucked in a deep breath as the rage swam behind my eyes. I could have cared less that my father had been tortured – he deserved every second of pain he went through. But my mother and brother should never have been subjected to any of it.
He cocked his head. “Why did you stay in Storm once you figured out they weren’t the ones to blame? I never could wrap my head around that.”
Trying to explain my reasoning for something I even struggled to understand at the time was like trying to explain the blind faith I used to put in God. Faith is trust in action. It’s something believed in, not from proof, but from feel and a deeply held belief. I may have ended up in Storm for all the wrong reasons, but it was my faith in them that kept me there. “They cared about me.” I may have given him only four words, but those four words packed a punch. Sometimes you didn’t need a lot of words to explain yourself.
He scrunched his face. “What the fuck? I cared about you. My family cared about you. You can’t fucking say we didn’t.”
“There are many ways to care, but needing the person you supposedly care about to change themselves for you…that’s not the kind of care that’s good for a person, Danny. I always had to prove myself to you and your family; always had to tow a fucking line and fit in with who you thought I should be. Storm might have expectations, but they never once tried to change who I am.”
He looked at me in disgust and I knew we were done here. Probably done for life. “I will never understand you or your choices. I’ve tried to help you over the years but you’ve made your decision and now you have to accept whatever consequences that decision brings you. Don’t come crawling back to me when the shit hits the fan.”
“I don’t ever come crawling to anyone, asshole, and I’m not about to start now. I rely on one person, and one person only – me. Less chance of getting screwed over that way.” I took a step away from him and said, “Now, if you’ve said all you came here to say, I suggest you fuck off and leave me to get on with my night.”
He sneered at my words as he made a move to leave. “You always were a bastard, Michael. You’ve managed to take it to a whole new level.”
“It works well in my life,” I muttered and turned to walk inside.
I didn’t glance back at him – I had no intention of looking back anymore.
Danny and I were done.
* * *