Want and denial seemed to be something we had in common.
He surprised the hell out of me when he reached out, cupped my cheek, and traced his thumb over my lips. His touch was so gentle and yet so firm in the one stroke. He shifted his gaze from my lips to my eyes. “Beautiful,” he murmured, and my heart beat faster at that word. “Don’t doubt yourself, sweetheart,” he added before letting my cheek go and striding down my hallway without another word.
I wanted to go after him and take back everything I’d said about one-night-stands. And I wanted to let him take over my body for this one night, regardless of the fact he’d get up and walk out when he was finished. And, damn, I wanted to try and make him change his mind about dating.
But I didn’t.
I stood rooted to the spot and watched him walk through my front door.
I let him leave, and I let our want and denial swirl in the air like a memory of a moment that you wanted to be so much more than a moment.
8
Griff
I hit the bar half an hour after leaving Sophia’s house. The bartender jerked his chin in greeting and placed a drink in front of me a moment later. I sucked the alcohol down, and hissed at the burn, but, fuck, I needed it.
Sophia was stuck in my mind, parts of our conversation on repeat.
We’re not all like that.
Fuck, I believed everything that came out of that woman’s mouth, but my mind got stuck on this, unable to believe it, but at the same time, unable to move past it. And yet, even if I accepted it to be true from her, she was not a woman I should even consider tainting with my needs. Sophia was all lightness, while all I had running through my veins these days was dark.
“Hi, gorgeous,” a voice came from beside me. I turned and found a hot brunette smiling at me. “Wanna buy me a drink?”
I assessed her. Sexy with curves in all the right places, and the look of a woman who did this kind of thing often, she would be perfect to take my mind off everything. I wanted to want to buy her a drink. Hell, I wanted a lot of fucking things – and it had been so fucking long for me that I needed them at this point – but I couldn’t bring myself to say yes. Shaking my head, I said, “Sorry, babe, I’m tapped out tonight.”
She shrugged. “How about I buy you a drink then?” Her gaze travelled over my body, lust flashing in her eyes. And Jesus, that should have gotten me hard, but here I sat, soft as a fucking eighty year old.
“Another time, maybe,” I said with regret. I wasn’t sure if my regret stemmed from not wanting her or from wanting someone else who I’d never allow myself to have.
Surprise flickered on her face, but she got the message and left me alone. Thank Christ my phone rang at that point, because I didn’t want to sit with my thoughts of Sophia any longer.
“Danny,” I greeted my cousin. “You’re finally returning my call.” I’d left a message for him hours ago. “Was beginning to think I’d have to pay you a visit.”
“Don’t be an asshole, Michael. I was working and didn’t have time for a family catch-up call,” he said, sounding as impressed to be having this phone call as I was.
“This isn’t a family catch-up. This is a have-you-sorted-that-shit-out-yet kinda call.”
He blew out a harsh breath. “Fuck, it’s not as easy as phoning someone and getting you taken off a roster.”
I threw more alcohol down. “You need to make it as easy as that or I will. And, Danny, you don’t want me to get involved in this. You thought I didn’t have much of a conscience back then…I have even less of one now.”
He made a noise and I practically heard his scowl through the phone. “I remember the kid you used to be. What the hell happened to you to turn you into this thug?”
“You know what the fuck happened to me,” I snarled. Fuck. “And now I have nothing to lose, except my freedom, so I’ll do whatever it takes to protect that.”
“Jesus.” He stopped talking for a moment, before saying, “We lost our main witness. Without you, the case isn’t as solid.”
I wanted to give a fuck. I truly did. Mostly because as much as we’d cut ties four years ago, he’d had my back when we were younger. But also because the asshole on trial deserved to be punished. However, I had nothing in me. I’d lost the ability to care about anyone or anything but Storm and Josie somewhere along the line.
In the end, I suggested, “Find a way to cut him loose. I’ll take care of him once he’s back on the streets.”
“Do you think you’re some kind of God? You wouldn’t even get past his first line of defence, Michael. Bond’s got men watching his back, and taking care of any threat that comes up. Why the fuck do you think we don’t have a star witness anymore?”