I clung to him, my heart fluttering. “Cole.” It was the only word I could manage.
He stroked my hair and searched my face, then pressed kisses to my forehead. “Oh, baby,” he murmured. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
“Sorry?” I heard the squeak of a question in my voice. “For saying you love me?”
“For not saying it before. I thought you knew.”
“I did. I do.” I closed my eyes and felt warm tears spill down my cheeks. “I just wasn’t sure you’d ever say it.”
“I’ve said it every time I touched you,” he said. “Every time I looked at you.”
“You did,” I agreed. And then, happily, I added, “I love you, too. More than I can say. More even than I can imagine.”
He kissed me, slowly and gently. “Do you remember when I told you that sex can mess us up?” he asked, thoughtfully.
I nodded.
“It’s true,” he said, “but I should have qualified it. Random sex. Wrong sex. Unattached sex. All of that can get in your head and screw with you. But what we have—sex mixed with love—sweetheart, I think that’s what makes us whole.”
twenty-three
The orange glow of the late afternoon sun gave the space under the McGinley Pavilion in the Chicago Botanic Garden a sensual, magical quality, as if all of us gathered for Angie and Evan’s wedding had been transported to a fairyland.
The soft strains of the orchestra had filled the area for the last hour, but now the music had begun in earnest, a traditional march that propelled me and Sloane down the aisle to our designated spots opposite Tyler and Cole.
I’d barely had time to glance sideways at Cole when the music changed yet again, this time into the wedding march. Immediately, guests stood and turned, looking back to where Angie had appeared in her stunning, hand-beaded wedding gown with the eight-foot train.
She seemed to glide down the aisle on her father’s arm, and there was no sound except for the processional. Even the insects in the gardens seemed to have hushed in deference to this woman who looked so radiant that she seemed lit from within.
I watched, blinking back tears as her father gave her away to Evan, who looked ridiculously happy. As the minister began to perform the ceremony, I stood next to Sloane, my bouquet tight in my hand, and looked out over the sea of faces. Some were friends, but most were strangers, and I was reminded that even though Angie had fast become a focal point of my life, we both had years behind us that the other knew nothing about. Weirdly, the thought comforted me. There was so much still to learn about my friends. About Cole. Hell, even about myself.
I glanced sideways to where Cole stood next to Tyler and Evan and found that he was looking at me, too. I was already weepy just from the fact that this was a wedding, but I saw so much tenderness in his face that I had to look away, afraid that the open emotion I saw in him would cause my tears to spill in earnest.
I concentrated instead on Evan—on the expression on his face that managed to encompass love and joy and passion and every other uplifting emotion.
I wanted that, too, I realized. I wanted to be in Angie’s shoes, walking down the aisle to the man I loved.
I wanted to see Cole looking at me that way.
Weddings. I stifled a sigh and forced my thoughts back to the bride. On keeping my smile in place. On trying to remember what Angie’s mom had asked me to do after the ceremony to help the staff set up for the reception.
I filled my head with so many thoughts that the actual wedding went by in a hazy, romantic blur that didn’t come into focus until I heard the familiar “you may kiss the bride” and saw Evan pull Angie greedily toward him.
After that, it was a flurry of music, another march down the aisle, then congratulations and pictures and hugging and kissing.