Mom grabs me, wrapping me in her arms, and I feel her shaking against me. “Lexi, I’m sorry, sweetie, but … he’s never coming home.” Keegan hugs her, enveloping me at the same time. His lank body smashes us all together.
I still don’t understand what she’s saying, and I’m fighting against them with my body, trying to be released.
“Lexi, your daddy always did what was right,” Mom says. “Even if it meant it would cost him everything. I want you to know that in the end, he made the right choice.” She’s wiping her face with a tissue, smudging more mascara beneath her eyes. “Because of that, he made some discoveries … that cost him his life.”
“What? What does that mean?” I push her away, but Keegan wraps his arms around my shoulders.
“I don’t think we’ll ever know.” It’s then that my mom, my usually composed, graceful, elegant mom, bursts into hysterics. Her hands shake, and her tears form a deluge of pain on her face.
What isn’t she telling me? How does she know that in the end, he chose losing his life over coming home to his daughter? His family?
Something dies inside of me. My dad isn’t coming home. Ever.
I remember the deluge of condolence cards from people all over the country. They were piled up in a huge box, unopened for the longest time before my mom felt strong enough to read them. One in particular always made me curious: the one from my stepfather and former Commander. It’s hard for me to understand how she could grieve so deeply for my father, and only a few years later, send me to the very place he abhorred: the Hole.
“Lexi, snap out of it!” Bruno slams down the red handle, and I hold my breath as the door releases, opening an inch.
Cole shouts as he shoves the door the rest of the way open. “Go!” He practically pushes me out of the moving railcar, and I fall in a heap on the dusty ground below. Zeus nudges me with his head, but I’m still trying to shake those memories from my head.
“Come on.” Cole’s in my face, dust and sweat streaking down his cheekbones, his eyes wide as he shakes me. “You all right?”
“Fine,” I say, even though I’m disoriented and scared out of my mind.
I fall in behind him, whipping my gun out from my waistband. I feel the whoosh of the train pass us and realize what’s happening. We’re weaving through roiling clouds of dust. The kind that gets into your pores, your hair, and your mouth. It makes me cough so I lower my head to keep from inhaling more. I can smell the familiar stench of the Hole from here, and bile fills my throat.
I slam into something unexpectedly. It’s Zeus. He barely budges when we make contact, but I bounce backward a bit. I’ve got to get my head in the game. Cole taps me on the shoulder and signals for me to move forward.
The train squeals quickly to a halt. The engineer doesn’t seem too worried about his cargo, that’s for sure. Sinners are the lowest forms of life in this country.
Then it’s silent. The dust fades, and I see the silver gleam of the last car just in front of Bruno. He’s sprinting like a madman, so I up my pace. The train lets out a sigh; maybe it’s tired of transporting Sinners to and from the Hole.
Our feet thump through the dirt. My heart’s bursting. I take one glance to my right, and I see the sharp outline of the wall against the sky. The sight alone brings me into focus. Sinners are jumping out of the car we were riding in, trying to escape. Their premature exit garners shouts from the guards. The rest of the doors slide open, and one by one, other Sinners exit from the right side of the train. Bruno waves us on.
That’s when the sirens begin.
God help us. It’s straight from my nightmares.
But Bruno keeps going, so we keep moving forward, hunched down, along the railcars. I wonder about the young girl from our car, and my heart aches. My feet burn, and my breaths come quick. Even though we have yet to be spotted, I feel so exposed.
I hear a resounding bang, unfamiliar to my ears.
I stop in my tracks. I grab Zeus’s collar and pull him to me. The ground quakes under my feet. Cole jerks to a halt behind me. Bruno keeps running. Grace looks back, worry plastered on her face, but she keeps pace with him.
“Run!” Bruno yells over his shoulder.
Adrenaline surges from my feet to my brain. We sprint to catch up, separated by about fifty yards.
Boom! Something explodes behind us. A plume of smoke rises from the dust. The earth vibrates beneath my feet.
I hear it fire again from the direction of the walls. What the hell is that? We’re one car past the one we jumped out of.
Boom!