“Experiments?”
“Yes, but that’s all we knew. We had no idea what the nature of the experiments were. We just knew we had to stop them. So, I made the choice to go to medical school, and your father took a very different path. He founded the resistance movement.” Sutton crosses his right leg over his left. “When my brother became Commander, I knew he’d continue the experiments. Any semblance of the boy he used to be, the one who played with us, was gone.” Sutton’s troubled eyes stare into the distance.
My head is reeling. I realize I’ve been gripping the bench with my free hand. “Why are you telling me this now?” I stand and face him.
“Because you need to know what we’re up against. And I want you to have all the facts this time.” Sutton stands and grabs my arms, stopping just short of answering the question I am about to ask. “You deserve it.”
I’m trembling, but I need to know. “Did they experiment on everyone in the Hole?” My voice is timid.
Sutton drops his hands and starts pacing. “We aren’t sure.”
“How would I know? I mean, what should I be looking for?” Panic coats my voice as the tears start to fall.
Sutton turns to me, and the look on his face contradicts his words. “You’re going to be okay, Lexi. I’ll make sure of it.” He stops and holds my arms again. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”
I collapse in his arms, allowing him to comfort me. He’s the closest thing I have to a dad right now. Why do I feel like he’s saying good-bye to me?
“One last thing … I’m so sorry about Keegan.” Sutton pats my shoulder then pulls away so I can see his face. “Hurt reminds us we’re human, and we all bleed when we’re wounded. But wounds heal, slowly, not all at once. We must mend our wounds well … to make sure they don’t tear back open because infections can be deadly. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Are you going to be okay?”
“I have to be.” I don’t want to tell him that his leaving leaves me with another wound, so I dry my tears on my shirt and smile. He seems satisfied.
“Now go. Get showered and changed. And remember, Lexi: you can overcome anything. And I mean anything … short of death.”
I’d never really given thought to Sutton’s past or the sacrifices he must have made. I don’t know if he ever married, and he’s never mentioned children. Looking at him now with his bloodshot green eyes and forced smile, I see a man who has dedicated his adult life to helping others with hardly a thought for himself. I wonder what his life could’ve been like if we’d lived in a different place, if the Commander had never come to rule. The thought makes my heart ache.
“It’s time.” Sutton emerges from the kitchen, shuffling his things, and pulls me into a strong hug. “Remember what I said: focus on the tasks at hand, and take care of yourself.” He holds his breath for a brief second and then exhales. “Blood or not, you’re my daughter, and I love you.”
I press my cheek against his chest, and his heart races in my ear. I grip his shirt in my fists and choke out, “I love you, too.”
He quickly moves to Grace and offers her a hug. I am too wrapped up in my own thoughts to hear their exchange, but I know he must be offering her words of encouragement. That’s just the way he is.
Sutton swallows hard before walking over to hug Cole. He pats Zeus on the head. My throat tightens as the tears are closer to surging.
Bruno and Sutton wave one last time before they exit the cottage, get into the vehicle, and speed away.
I am overcome with emotion. It feels like something is sucking the life out of me, and all I can do to stop the pain of it is to run. I don’t think. I bolt out the door and down the driveway. My feet pound the gravel harder than I expected and I feel my leg muscles starting to cramp. When I reach the road, I hear Cole and Grace behind me, yelling at me to stop. I keep going.
He needs to know!
Panic rises into my chest, threatening to suffocate me as I crash onto the pavement, exhausted. As a charley horse grips the back of my right thigh, I scream out in agony.
Sutton’s gone, and I don’t know when I’ll see him again. I’m heaving, crying out in pain, and dizzy. When Cole catches up to me, his eyes search mine for a sign, a reason, logic.
I should have hugged Sutton one more time. I shouldn’t have let him go without telling him how much he means to me. I had only just realized it, and now it’s too late. This selfless man has been a father to me when my father couldn’t.
I curl my arms around myself as I wrestle with my emotions, pain, and embarrassment. Without Sutton, once again, I’m an orphan.