I move the bowl from hand to hand nervously, unsure of where this conversation is going. Cole stares at me incredulously. No one ever talks about the before. “It was never discussed in school,” I say. “The only reason I know some of what it was like before the Commander is because my parents talked about it.”
His eyes search mine, and he nods. “Yeah, school’s a joke; the curriculum’s pretty much just propaganda for the Commander. You know damn well the government doesn’t want us to have hope.”
“I remember the fourth and fifth wars were started by terrorism and that other countries refused to challenge those sheltering the terrorists who were responsible … ” I take a spoonful of chili, chewing slowly. “And that our country bore the brunt of everything … bombings, attacks, financial ramifications.”
“Do you know what happened out west?” he asks.
“That it used to be populated? My dad made mention of it long ago.”
“It used to be one of the centers for technological development. Weapons, computers, everything.” His eyes harden, and his voice becomes bitter. “But the United Powers had it destroyed, sending us back into the Dark Ages.”
“The United Powers? Why would they do that?” I scrunch up my face as I prepare to take another bite of food.
“Who knows? I guess they thought it would eliminate weapons and bring peace. Some ambassadors of world peace they turned out to be,” he says.
“But I thought we were part of the United Powers?”
“We are, but only after they united against our country and forced us to pay damages for World War Five, which crippled any chance our country had of rebuilding. That’s why the first Commander was voted in. He pledged to rebuild, pledged to keep us out of war, and he talked a pretty good game.” Cole exhales long and hard. “But here we are, barely surviving while the United Powers turn a blind eye to the desecration of what was once a great country. The rest of the world continues living as though nothing happened here. It doesn’t affect them.”
“No wonder people loved the Commander,” I say.
He looks at me with a skeptical face. “Why is that?”
“Because they believed in him. Don’t you get it? He made promises. He told them what they wanted to hear. What they needed in order to move on. He gave them hope. And when he didn’t deliver, they forgave him because they wanted to believe in something and he was all they had.”
“And it was a recipe for exactly what we have now. And Wilson, he’s insane. He is hardly going to deliver on the promise of the first Commander. He’s just as lost and so mad with power that he will do anything to keep things exactly the way they are. Please tell me you aren’t feeling sorry for him.” Cole raises an eyebrow.
“Definitely not. I don’t know what I feel. Part of me thinks we can maybe change things. Get things moving in the right direction again. I mean, we got out. And the other part of me thinks the thought of it is insane and that we’re going to die out here. Then again, my dad couldn’t do it alone, so what hope do we have?” Unspoken words hang in the air between us as Cole shifts his weight from one leg to the other. “If only you could have met him. He was an amazing man. And I know he would’ve adored you.”
Cole’s silence makes me uneasy. He just stares for what feels like minutes.
“Lexi.” The way he says my name causes the hair on my neck to stand. I can’t bear what he might say next.
“I wasn’t suggesting we should go back to the Hole. I’m not that crazy. I was just thinking out loud.”
I suddenly have no desire to continue this conversation, so I shovel a spoonful of the spicy chili into my mouth. It’s too much, and I gag. Cole doesn’t even address my last comment, so I set the bowl aside and get dressed. I feel his eyes on me, following my every move. It makes me strangely uncomfortable, so I hurry and cover up.
“You do realize I’ve seen you naked,” he says. “Several times.”
No matter how many times he’s seen me naked, I still feel self-conscious. When I’m done, I turn and offer him a shy smile.
“Feel better now?” He winks and clears his throat. A mischievous smile crosses his face. He claps his hands and heads toward me.
I’m about to take him into my arms for a kiss when we hear a strange grinding sound from somewhere in the house. Cole’s eyebrows bunch up, and he freezes.
“Maybe it’s just the wind,” I say, trying to convince myself, heart pounding.
Beneath us, the trash cans bang around suddenly. Cole pulls back from me and heads toward the door.
“Maybe you should put some pants on first?” I suggest, only half-joking.
He quickly pulls his pants off the heater they lay drying on.
Please let it be the wind. Please let it be the wind. Please let it be the wind. I rummage around for my boots, and by the time I get them on, Cole has his gun out and is handing me mine. I listen for more disturbances while Cole peeks through a small hole in a window slat. I wish Zeus were here.
The front door handle jiggles, twists, and then I hear the grinding of pieces, searching for the magic click at the end. It’s not the wind. My blood freezes, and my body becomes steel.
Click.