She rolled over to face me. In the dim light, I could see the tears glittering in her eyes.
“I get it,” she said. “I know why you’re over there and I’m over here. I do. I feel like there aren’t enough showers in the world to wash the last four years off of me.”
I half sat up, stunned. “No. That’s not why—”
“Then why won’t you touch me?”
“I didn’t want to pressure you. You’ve been through so much and I wanted to give you space.”
“I don’t want space. I don’t want to be apart from you. Not for another damn minute.”
Thank god. Oh fuck, thank god.
“Come here,” I said gruffly. “God, Jo, come here.”
We met in no-man’s land, moved into the middle of the bed. She came crying into my chest. I held her tight, her body small in my arms and shaking with sobs. I wrapped myself around her. Her tears soaked the front of my t-shirt as I fought to keep my own sobs back. Someone had to be strong here. But the reality of her in my arms was breaking me down. The scent of her washed hair and the warmth of her skin. Moment by moment, inhale by exhale, every heartbeat of hers against mine erased our separation. The lust consuming me all night revealed for what it truly was: my need to be with Josephine for the rest of my life. Not only her body but everything that she was: her scribbled words, her lonely heart and her victorious happiness.
I stroked her hair as she clung to me. Her tense, tight body relaxed into mine. Fitting with me. A perfect mesh of flesh and bone.
She drew her head back to look at me in the dark. I heard her breath catch in a tremulous intake of breath.
“I want to kiss you, Evan. Do you want to kiss me?”
“More than anything,” I said, in love with her brave honesty. “But if I kiss you I won’t want to stop.”
“I don’t want you to stop. Have you still never…?”
I nodded, hard and aching for her. “I’ve been locked up. And when I got out, all I wanted to do was find you.”
“You found me,” she said, pressing her body tighter to mine. “I don’t know how, but you did.” Her hands slipped around the back of my neck. Her fingers played in my hair, then slid around to my jaw and along the edge of my mouth. Her soft eyes followed the trail of her fingertips, an intimate reacquainting.
“Kiss me, Evan. Please. Please…”
I gently laid my lips on hers, intent on taking it slow. But Jo’s mouth parted for mine. A little gasp in her throat and that’s all it took for my restraint to burn to ash. We fell into each other, a tangle of arms and legs, greedy kisses and hands seizing back the four years stolen from us.
My hands surged into her hair, angling her head into my kiss. I wanted to devour her. Her tongue stroked mine and her teeth grazed my lips. Her hands moved down my chest, over my abdomen, down to stroke my aching erection.
“No, wait.” I captured her wrists and pressed them on the pillow above her head. “I’ll never last.”
“I don’t care. This is for you.”
“The hell it is. It’s for us. We’ve waited too long.”
“Turn on the light,” she whispered. “I want you to see everything.”
I clicked on the lamp and groaned at the sight of her dark, damp hair fanned over the pillow, her eyes half-lidded and her mouth parted. Her lips were red and swollen from my kisses.
“Slow,” I said, more for myself than for her.
I moved my mouth down her throat, kissing a path along her warm, soft skin. I unbuttoned her shirt—my shirt—enough to lift it over her head. Then her breasts, small and perfect, were in my hands. Solid, real flesh, not a fantasy to keep me going in prison. A low moan issued from deep in my chest. She shuddered and arched into me as I bent to kiss a hard nipple. I teased and sucked at it, then moved to the other. Her hands made fists in my hair as I bit to the threshold of pleasure and pain, then soothed the sweet ache with my tongue.
“God, you’re beautiful,” I said hoarsely, resting my forehead between her breasts to catch my breath. “You’re so fucking beautiful. And mine.”
“Yes,” she whispered with no breath at all. “Yours…all yours.”
I reared back on my knees, trailing open-mouthed kisses down her stomach and over her underwear. I hooked my fingers in the waistband and tugged them off her hips.
“Four years,” I murmured, flicking my tongue over her. “Four years I’ve waited to taste you again.”
She moaned as I spread her open gently and moved in, sucking and licking her sweetness. She propped herself on her elbows to watch me, then fell back writhing. Her hips rose and fell against my mouth. I was relentless. One crashing orgasm hit my tongue, then another. I would have kept going but she reached down to clutch my wrists.
“God, Evan, no more… I can’t…”