“He’s leaving at the end of the summer.”
“But that doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings for him. Don’t do that. Don’t push away your feelings.”
I want to laugh because that’s what I’ve been doing my whole life. “I’m good at it.”
She sits up and grabs my hand. “Not as good as you think.” She looks over her shoulder at Grayson and his friends. “And I know you’re hurting. We can leave if you want, but you’re here to show him you care.”
She turns back, and my eyes meet hers. “How do I do that when I can’t be with him?”
“By being here.”
I nod, still feeling shitty about the whole situation. Hating his parents and his friends and every goddamn thing that keeps us apart. I also hate that Bree is right, and I’m a dumbass falling for him.
Or okay—having already fallen for him—because when I’m on the dancefloor with Bree, and I look over at Grayson with Crystal’s arms around his neck, leaning into him, watching her feel his big body against hers, I can barely breathe through my jealousy.
I can’t focus on anything but her hands on him and the fact that everyone looks at them and sees a couple. They look at Grayson and see the façade. They see the rich-boy jock who’s straight and taking her to the afterparty.
They don’t know that he loves to draw and swim. That he’s kind and compassionate. That he volunteers with kids after school. And instead of soft curves, he prefers hard muscle.
They don’t know he’s had his lips on every inch of my body, and I loved every single second of it. And suddenly, it’s all too damn much. I apologize to Bree and dart out of the gym, trying like hell to catch my breath.
This isn’t me. I don’t get attached. I don’t feel possessive. I don’t want to go and tear a girl’s hands off my man’s body. But I can’t think straight right now as I walk into the hallway and down the bay of lockers.
I hear footsteps behind me, but I’m lost in this fog. Of fucking course, the one time I actually have an insane attraction to someone, it’s to someone totally unavailable.
“Rhett?” Grayson’s voice wavers with worry, and I turn around to take him in—all his handsome glory on full display in his snug tux.
“Go away.”
“No.” He walks closer to me. “I thought you didn’t do prom.”
“I don’t.” I point at him. “I do you.”
Neither of us laugh at the double meaning because nothing seems funny right now. I’m pissed off. I’m frustrated that I can’t tell everyone we’re together. “What do you want from me, Rhett? Tell me.”
I laugh, but it’s humorless. “Nothing.”
“Don’t lie to me.” He walks closer, his eyes searching mine. “Tell me.”
“Nothing. I don’t want anything from you.”
The toes of his shoes touch mine. He’s breathing heavy, and so am I. “Tell me.”
“No.”
“Rhett.” He grabs the back of my neck the way I love—possessive and strong—and rests his forehead against mine. “Tell me.”
“No,” I say again and watch the rise and fall of his chest.
“I hated watching you with Bree. Even knowing you don’t see her that way. Knowing that other people in the gym probably think differently.”
I shake my head slowly. “You’re one to talk with Chrystal’s hands all over you. You should have just humped on the dancefloor. It would have been even more convincing.”
“That’s really not fair,” he says, but his voice is calm.
“None of this is fair.”
I lift my head and meet his eyes as he nods in agreement. “What do you want? You want me to go in there and tell everyone we’re together?”
“We aren’t together.”
“Exactly.” His voice drips with anger now.
“You’re pissed at me?”
“I’m angry at life, Rhett!” His voice booms as he spreads his arms out to the side. “I want to do right by my grandfather, but to do that, I have to be the fucking golden boy. I have to play the game, and it’s been fine. Totally fine.” He drops his arms to his sides. “Until you.”
“Me?”
“Yes. You. You remind me that it’s all a lie, and it’s not fair.”
Rage fills my insides, but not at him. I’m not mad at him. “I never wanted anyone until you came along. And now . . .” I give up, sighing with an angry huff.
He cups my face in one of his big hands. “Now what?”
I lift my eyes to look into his. “I can’t stop thinking about you. I know why we can’t say anything, but it’s hard, and I fucking hate it.”
“Me too.” He presses a soft, quick kiss to my lips, and I decide to suck it up.
“Come home with me?”
He nods his head quicker than I expected. “Okay.”
“What about prom?” I ask hesitantly. If he wants to go back in there, I will. I’ll watch him play the game and hang out with people he doesn’t have much in common with, but it might kill me.
“Fuck prom. I want you.” He takes my hand and pulls me toward the parking lot, not giving me a chance to argue. I text Bree to let her know I left with Grayson, and she sends me back a middle finger emoji, then a heart eyes emoji right after.
Grayson drives to my place, and when we get inside, it’s like it always is. We can’t keep our hands off each other, exploring and memorizing every single inch of each other.
When we move to my bed, we’re both naked. He drives me right to the edge of insanity by sucking my dick with insane skills he’s perfected over the last couple of months. “Grayson,” I plead with him to stop before I fall completely.
His mouth pops off my aching cock with an obscene noise before he climbs up my body and kisses my lips, placing a hand on my cheek. “What’s wrong?”
I try like hell not to let my nerves break through. “I think I want to be tied to you.”
“What?” He pushes up a little, bracing his big body with his arms, making them flex. “You are tied to me.”
I think about his words at the cabin when he gave himself to me for the first time. When I was worried it would tie us together if we took that step, and how stupid it was because I’ve been tethered to him since the rainy day he made me get in his car. “I know. But I want to be even more tied to you.”
He looks confused, and I smile, brushing his hair off his forehead. It’s messy from my fingers. “Say more.”
I laugh. “Okay.” My heart races in my chest as I gather the courage to tell him what I want. “I want you to fuck me.”
His eyes widen in shock, something that might make me laugh if I weren’t so turned-on and equally nervous. “You don’t have to. You know I love to bottom for you.”
I nod my head and drag one hand over his solid chest, feeling his heartbeat. “And I like that too, but I want to try this.” I lean up and capture his lips with mine, letting go of some of my nerves. “I want you inside me.”
I watch him swallow, his throat bobbing in a way that’s oh, so sexy because Grayson is nervous. And he’s turned the hell on. “Okay. Yeah.” His voice is raspy, and almost a gasp as he answers.
I push him off me and move to the drawer in the table next to my bed, grabbing the lube and a condom and handing them both to him with trembling hands. “I might not . . .” I cringe thinking about his giant dick in my ass.
“If you don’t like it, we’ll stop. Just tell me.”
That’s when I realize how much I trust him. I nod and he pulls me into a sweet kiss, making my heart ache and my nerves dissipate because I have him for this moment, and I don’t want to stop.
He takes his time with me, pouring lube on his fingers and working me open with one and then two. I can’t say I love the feeling of his fingers stretching me at first, but when he hits a magic spot inside, my dick wakes back up, and my hips jolt up from the bed. “Holy shit.”
He only chuckles, brushing over that spot again before pulling out and adding another finger, making the burn intensify yet again. But before my erection can flag, he moves his hot mouth to the tip of my cock and sucks me into his wet heat.
“Shit, Grayson. Yes.” I fist my hands in his hair, and his fingers brush over my prostate again, making me jolt and curse, way too close to the edge. “I’m close. Too close. Fuck. Fuck me, Grayson.”
I’m a mumbling mess, but he takes pity on me, pulling his fingers out and his mouth off my dick. But when he sheathes his thick cock with the condom and looks down at me, my nerves kick in again.
“You’re so goddamn beautiful. Tell me if you want me to stop.” He leans down and kisses me, and I will my heart to slow down as I breathe through the initial pain of the tip of his cock breaching the tight ring of muscles. “Jesus, fuck.” He looks down into my eyes. “You okay?”
I nod and breathe in and out slowly. “Yeah, keep going.”