Hollywood House Call

Nine



Callie was so confused. She wanted to read more into last night’s little escapade, but how could she when he’d only been on the giving end and not the receiving?

Had to be out of pity. But what man did that? She’d never known a man to put her sexual needs first. Of course, she hadn’t had that many lovers by which to judge.

Mercy, she was beyond confused.

As Noah wove his way through the streets toward her apartment, she was trying to recall if it was clean. Oh, well, too late now, and it wasn’t as if she had a cleaning service to come in and take over.

He pulled up in front of her building and came around to help her out.

“My key is in the side pocket of my purse,” she told him, holding her bag with her left hand while he dug out the keys.

Noah unlocked her door and ushered her in. “While you gather more things, I’ll get the food from the car and meet you in the kitchen.”

Callie nodded and headed to her room. With her right arm snug against her body thanks to the sling, she had to tug on drawers with her left hand, one side at a time until they sprang free.

She grabbed more underwear, because she just couldn’t bear to ask Noah to wash hers, a few more shorts and the few button-down shirts she owned. As much as she liked wearing his, she knew she couldn’t go on like that the whole time she was with him.

She tossed all that she wanted onto the bright orange comforter and went in search of a tote. She had a slew of tote bags from various pharmaceutical companies when sales reps came into the office.

She found a bag and began putting her items into it and hoisted it up onto her good shoulder with only a slight wince as she pulled too hard and jarred the broken collarbone.

She needed another pain pill, but she was afraid to ask Noah after his reaction the other day.

After placing the bag by the door, she turned to see Noah at her two-seater table spreading out their Chinese food containers.

“Smells great,” she told him. “I’ve been craving Moo Shu Pork for a while.”

He smiled and looked up at her. “We just had it in the office two weeks ago.”

Callie shrugged. “Then I’ve been craving it for two weeks. Seems like so much longer. I could eat this stuff every day.”

He pulled out their egg rolls and turned toward the kitchen. “What do you want to drink?”

Callie moved past him. “I can get it, Noah. It’s my apartment. Let me.”

“No, you sit. I can get the drinks.”

She sighed. “You’re not going to let me win this little argument, either, are you?”

He grinned and that damn head tilted sideways as if he just knew his charm would win any battle he fought.

“Fine. I’ll take some ice water. I can’t imagine there’s much else in there. I was due to go to the store after the photo shoot.”

The photo shoot. At least she could say the words now without breaking into a crying fit or turning into a total bear and growling at everyone. Well, not everyone. Just Noah.

“It’s no problem. Water is fine with me, too.” He came back to the table with two bottles of water and unscrewed hers for her. “Eat up.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.”

They ate in silence, but something kept digging at her curiosity and she wanted to approach it. Even if he’d told her to back off.

“Why sell the house if you don’t really want to?” she asked.

His fork froze at his mouth before he dropped it back into the box. “What makes you think I don’t want to sell?”

“Because I’ve seen your face when you talk about the house being for sale and I saw your face when you told me the real-estate agent was coming by today. You’re not happy about this decision, so why make it?”

Noah sighed and eased back in his seat. “Part of me needs to, but the other part of me is afraid to.”

Well, that revelation shocked her. Noah Foster afraid of something? She’d seen the sadness and occasional darkness in his eyes, but she’d never believed he’d admit to fear.

“Then why the rush?” Callie asked. “Wait until you’re not afraid anymore.”

“I have a feeling that fear will never go away. It’s just something I need to do.”

“Does this have anything to do with that past you don’t want to discuss?”

His lips thinned as he eased forward in his seat and grabbed his fork. “Leave it, Callie. You’re purposely dancing on shaky ground.”

She crossed her legs and sat back in her creaky chair. “So you can pry into my life and make me face my fear, but I can’t do the same to you?”

“We don’t share the same fears,” he told her. “Not even close.”

“Really? Why don’t you try me?”

“I don’t want to try you,” he told her, his hands on his hips, his lips thin. “This is not up for debate.”

“I don’t find it fair that you can dig into my life, my personal space, and then tell me that a part of you isn’t up for discussion.” She remained in her seat because as much as she wanted to stand up and shout, at least one of them needed to remain calm. “I thought we were moving toward something, Noah.”

“We have a sexual attraction, Callie. I’m not looking for more, and honestly, I wasn’t even looking for that.”

“Okay, no need to be so blunt,” she told him, trying to hide the hurt. “I’m just trying to help you. You know, like you’re helping me?”

“I’m helping you as a doctor.”

Okay, now she did come to her feet. “Really?” she asked, resting her good hand on her hip. “So what happened on your couch last night was, what? You playing doctor?”

“Don’t make this into something it’s not.”

“And what is that? I don’t even know what the hell is going on because you’re so closed off.”

“I have to be closed off,” he retorted, his voice booming. “You don’t know the pain I went through, the pain I still live with.”

“No, I don’t because you won’t let me. You are always flirty, always eager to make me happy, but you’re miserable, Noah. I can see it now that I’ve spent more time with you.”

“You think you know me because you shared a few nights in my house and worked for me for a few months? Because we shared an intimate evening? There’s so much, Callie. So much in my heart, in my life, that you don’t know.”

“Then tell me so I can help,” she pleaded. “This can go both ways, you know. Keeping your hurt or anger bottled up can’t be healthy.”

“Maybe not, but talking about it also makes it…”

“What? Real?”

He closed his eyes and sighed. “I just want it to go away.”

“Yeah, I know how you feel.” She’d give anything if this living nightmare she was in would vanish. “Please, Noah, let me in.”

“You want in?” He opened his eyes, met hers, and she was surprised to find not only anger lurking in those mesmerizing gray eyes but also unshed tears. “Getting in would mean more than I can give right now, Callie. Trust me, you don’t want to live my hell.”

She tilted her chin and stepped closer. “I don’t want to live mine, either, but I am.”

Callie’s cell chimed through the room, cutting the tension with the upbeat ringtone.

She crossed the room and rummaged with her left hand through her purse. She glanced at the screen and sighed.

“Hi, Amy,” she greeted her agent.

“Just calling to check on you. How are you feeling?”

Callie glanced over her shoulder to Noah, who was staring back at her. He could be part of her private life and she couldn’t be part of his?

She turned her back and walked to the front window. Her apartment wasn’t big, but at least moving away would give off the silent hint that he wasn’t welcome to listen to her conversation.

“I’m getting better every day,” Callie responded, trying to sound upbeat.

“I just want you to know that the role has been recast for the Anthony Dane movie.” Amy paused before lowering her voice. “I’m so sorry, Callie. I didn’t want this to happen, but there was nothing we could do. They start shooting next month.”

Callie swallowed the burn in her throat and bit her lips to keep from crying. “Um…it’s okay. I mean, it’s not, but like you said, there’s nothing that can be done.”

Callie watched as a couple pushed their baby stroller down the street and as a little boy rode by on his bike. Life went on for everyone else while her world had crumbled. She didn’t know if she had the strength to build it back up again.

“I’m here,” Amy went on. “As long as it takes to get you back to your old self, I’ll be here, Callie. I have faith in you.”

Callie blinked back the tears. “Thanks. Listen, I need to go. We’ll talk later.”

Callie ended the call before her emotions exploded. She hated crying on the phone. Who wanted to listen to a blubbering mess on the other end? After sliding the phone into the pocket of her capris, she put her left hand over her eyes and willed the inevitable crying jag away. But it was a moot point because the second she felt Noah’s strong hand on her shoulder, she fell back against that hard, sturdy chest and lost it.

He didn’t say a word, but he did turn her so she was facing him. She leaned against him, her face against his chest. She was probably going to soak his shirt, but she couldn’t stop the tears any more than she could change her fate.

His warm hand roamed up and down her back as he rested his chin on top of her head. Callie knew as soon as she looked up at him she’d see pity, and that was the last thing she wanted. Right now she just needed to get this cry out of her way. Of course, she’d been saying that a lot lately. But she just couldn’t help it.

“I knew the part wasn’t mine anymore,” she whispered against his chest. “But it still hurts to know I’ve officially lost it.”

“There will be others, Callie,” he told her softly. “If Anthony Price wanted you once, he’ll look at you again.”

She eased back and shook her head. “He wanted the flawless Callie. I doubt he’ll have use for a scarred Callie. Men can pull off imperfections and Hollywood thinks it’s rugged and sexy. A woman has to be regal and flawless at all times to be considered.”

Noah nodded. “I won’t lie, that’s pretty accurate. But I also know you’re a fighter and I know I’m a damn good surgeon. Together we won’t let this dream of yours disappear.”

She studied his face. “I still don’t understand why you’re so hell-bent on helping me. Yes, I worked for you and I know we shared some…moments, but you’re putting your life on hold. Why?”

He reached up and stroked her good cheek. “Because I can’t sit back and watch someone I care about suffer. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t try to make your life better.”

Callie jerked back. “You care for me?”

Noah stepped forward. “It would be impossible not to feel something more than friendship toward you, Callie. I’ve tried to ignore the sexual pull, but after tasting you last night, I’ve been unable to think of little else.”

“But just a moment ago you were so adamant about this thing between us being nothing.”

Holding her with his mesmerizing gaze, he said, “That’s because I wanted to ignore this pull, but when I hold you, I can’t lie. My actions betray me.”

Shivers raced over Callie’s body. “This timing isn’t the best, Noah. Especially since you’re struggling with…whatever.”

“As much as I wish we could explore this, I’m afraid I just can’t go into something with you when I don’t even know what demons you battle or what my future holds.”

He picked up her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Then we’ll take this slow. I never back away from what I want, Callie, and I want you. In my bed.”

“Well, that was blunt.”

“And honest,” he told her. “I’m done lying to you, to myself. I guess I’m learning you need to take what you want when you want it because it could be gone in an instant.”

She listened to his tone grow almost angry, yet nostalgic.

“Noah, I can’t be a replacement for whatever happened to you. You act as if I’m plan B in whatever went wrong in your past. That’s not how I want to live. I’ll never play second to anything or anyone.”

“And you shouldn’t have to,” he told her, stroking her cheek. “But I want you to know where I stand and why I’m so adamant about being with you again.”

Callie leaned into his touch. “I’d be a fool to lie and tell you I haven’t thought about you, fantasized about you. But right now the last thing I feel is sexy.”

He stepped back and nodded. “You can’t help how you feel, but know this. I find you damn sexy, Callie. No matter what you look like on the outside. To me, you’re a sexy woman because of your kick-ass attitude and your personality. I know that’s unusual for a man to say, but it’s true. Sexy doesn’t have to mean flawless.”

Callie laughed. “I hope you’re not going to use that for your new ad slogan.”

The corners of Noah’s mouth kicked up. “No, that’s for your ears only.”

“Then I won’t tell anyone,” she replied, but her smile faded. “Noah, I know this probably doesn’t need to be said, but—”

“No, it doesn’t.” He cut her off. “I don’t want to hear it.”

She looked down at her feet, then back up beneath her lashes, afraid to fully look him in the eyes. “I’m sorry I let you down for the new ads.”

Noah closed that final sliver of space between them and took hold of her face with both hands, careful of where he touched her right side. “Listen to me and look me straight in the eye. I don’t care about the ads. They will go on and something else will work out. Those ads are the last thing I’m worried about right now.”

“I realize you’re not worried, but your new office is supposed to open in a couple months and you didn’t have anything else planned.”

“No, I didn’t,” he agreed, smoothing her hair off her forehead and away from the bandage. “But I also know that something will come to me, and the ad agency I hired is on it. We’re looking at a few options, but nothing is final. We may not use a model now. We’re looking at something simple with a catchy slogan.”

“You’re so good to me,” she whispered. “Even though I’ve done nothing but bring you misery, you’re amazing. Don’t think I’m not grateful. Even when I yell at you and cry, I’m still thankful to have you in my life.”

Callie wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him, because she’d just seen another flash of fear, of angst, spear through his eyes, and she didn’t want to get into another argument on whether or not he should open up to her. One day soon, she vowed, she’d get those demons from his closet and then she could help him bury them where they belonged.