His for the Taking

Eighteen



Cole felt as though his soul was shattering into a million pieces. He stood in the barn outside Raider’s stall listening to the music drifting from the ranch house, where his engagement party remained in full swing.

He loved Maddie, but like a fool he’d never told her until tonight. He’d probably loved her for years.

A pain as terrible as what he’d felt when he’d believed Maddie had left him six years ago fisted around his heart and squeezed hard. Only when she’d run from Yella had he learned how much she’d meant to him—that he couldn’t live without her.

For six years, he’d endured, breaking Lizzie’s heart in the process. He didn’t want to suffer like that for the rest of his life, or make some other unlucky rebound lover suffer as he’d made Lizzie suffer.

How could he have gone on believing that maybe the gossips were right about Maddie? “How did I screw it all up so fast, Raider, old boy? What the hell can I do to get her back?”

The gelding rasped in a breath. Then he snorted.

“I have to get her back.”

Raider’s ears pricked forward. Then Cole heard a footstep behind him and turned to see Adam striding into the barn.

“You didn’t totally kill your engagement party. There’s still a few diehards. Your mother just left.”

“At least someone’s happy.”

“I don’t think so. Surprisingly she seemed a little chagrined. In fact she asked me to find you. So, do you wanna punch me, too?”

“I think I’ve made enough of an ass of myself for one night.”

“For once, you admit it,” Adam said.

“For once, I won’t resent you throwing it in my face. Look, I know you had it harder than I did growing up without our dad. But that wasn’t my fault!”

Adam smiled. “Who else can I blame? Dad’s dead, and you’re here. But I want to talk about Maddie. I don’t resent you so much that I’d try to come between you two. I was just trying to be your brother and her friend.”

“I know. I just let a stupid remark get to me.”

“I like Maddie. I like Noah. I think you and she are right for each other.”

“Like it matters now. Don’t you get it? I crushed her. In public. In front of the idiots she was trying so hard to impress. Worse, I made her feel like she has to apologize for who she is. She left me.”

“Good for her. By the way, you look like hell—which means you’ve probably already figured out how precious she is to you. You’re not going to let her go back to Austin, are you?”

“How the hell am I going to stop her?”

“Why don’t you go over to Miss Jennie’s and throw yourself on her mercy? Crawl. Grovel. She’s not like the hard-hearted gossips who despise her. Unlike them, she’s got the softest heart in the universe. You love her. And she loves you. What else really matters?”

* * *

Maddie felt like throwing the phone at the wall.

“What? I can’t believe you sent him over here! Well, I don’t want to talk to him, Adam!” Maddie cried. “I’m packing, so I’m going to hang up!”

“No, you’re not! Because I’m your future brother-in-law. And you’re not that rude.”

Through her tears Maddie stared at the brightly colored T-shirts spilling out of the suitcases on her bed.

“What part of ‘I broke it off with him’ don’t you understand? He’ll never respect me! So, no, I don’t want to talk to him. If you send him over here, I won’t answer the door.”

“He looks terrible,” Adam said.

“That’s not my fault.”

“He loves you.”

“No, he doesn’t. Not if he thinks I’m capable of the same sort of low, despicable tricks my mother’s capable of.”

“You’re wrong. I’m not saying he didn’t behave like a fool. Or that he didn’t totally embarrass you. He did. He messed up because he loves you. Guys only screw up big-time with the women they love. Lyle hit a nerve, and Cole lost it.”

“Look, I have to go. I’m throwing things in my suitcases as we speak.”

“Now you’re being an even bigger fool than he was. You two are good for each other. You know it. Have you ever been this mad at anybody else before? Or felt this hurt?”

“No!”

“See there!”

“You’re crazy! I’m hanging up!”

“Don’t throw it all away. Relationships always require some give along with the take. He’s Noah’s father. You grew up without a father just like I did. Do you want to do that to Noah?”

“That last was a low blow.”

“He hurt you. Get over it.”

No sooner had she hung up the phone than Miss Jennie appeared at the door. “Who was that, dear?”

“Cole’s interfering brother. Adam was trying to talk me into forgiving Cole.”

“But you’re much too angry to even consider that, aren’t you?”

“This has nothing to do with anger. It has to do with the fact that Cole will always see me as Jesse Ray’s daughter. And I’ve always tried so hard to be more than that.”

“You’ve always been more than that.”

“You see it. You always saw it. But Cole isn’t capable of seeing it.”

“He is a man with a man’s blindness, but I believe he loves you, and that no matter what his failings, he’s always loved you. Maybe tonight made him realize who you really are.”

“And snakes can fly.”

“Horrid thought,” Miss Jennie said, causing Maddie to smile. Miss Jennie paused. “You know that I lost my darling Raymond in the Korean War, and I never found anybody else.”

“I know.”

“Think about that. You could go your whole life and never find anyone you love half as much as you love Cole. Or find a man who loves you as much.”

Maddie was silent as she considered the long, lonely years that would stretch ahead. For no reason at all, she thought of the intense way Cole looked at her sometimes.

“Raymond’s dead, so I could place him on a pedestal. I can always think of him as absolutely perfect. I’ve conveniently forgotten all our silly squabbles and his many faults. It’s really quite nice to have this perfect fantasy lover who never disappoints you. But life can be so messy. I think all men, however desirable, are the messiest of creatures. They have such limitations. Cole fell back into old habits, old thought patterns. Look at his mother, the woman who raised him. I never told anyone in Yella this, but she and I grew up in the same town. Did you know she grew up poor? That she was abandoned in a Dumpster as a baby by a teenage mother who was sent to prison? That she wasn’t adopted by the wealthy family who raised her until she was six years old?”

“No.”

“She’s very insecure and has worked hard to keep those secrets. No doubt she worked just as hard to try to instill all sorts of extremely silly ideas and prejudices into her son. He got jealous and suffered a momentary lapse of judgment and hurt you, which I’m sure he profoundly regrets.”

“But—”

“I’m not finished. Unfortunately, at the party, you fell back into the old pattern of feeling left out. And you reacted defensively by lashing out at Cole. Self-worth comes from the inside, Maddie, and you have plenty of it…most of the time. But we all have our weak moments, and find ourselves filled with self-doubt. That’s all that happened. He got jealous at the wrong moment. You weren’t your best self either, and you took it out on each other. It was bad timing. Don’t throw away something as precious as the love of a lifetime without being sure it’s the right thing to do.”

“Oh, Miss Jennie, will he always see me as an easy, untrustworthy sort?”

“You won’t be the first woman ever to face the challenge of convincing a man how lucky he is to have you. Trust me, if he doesn’t know your true worth now, he will.”

* * *

Maddie stood in the open doorway of Miss Jennie’s house as she anxiously waited for Cole to drive up. After he cut the engine, she took a faltering step across the porch toward him, and then another. He got out of Adam’s truck and walked toward her just as slowly, as if he felt as unsure as she did.

“I…was waiting out here for you because Adam called me and told me you would come,” she said breathlessly. “I was so hoping you wouldn’t change your mind about coming…about me…about us.”

“Forgive me,” he whispered.

“I was every bit as much at fault as you.”

“No, I knew how important it was to you to make a good impression on everybody, and what did I do? I made you wear that sexy dress that you didn’t feel comfortable in.”

“Because I have hang-ups.”

“Because you’re you. I’m sorry for what I did. For what I said. I need to respect your feelings. Then that lout insulted you—I should have defended you instead of behaving like a perfect ass.”

“I should have been more understanding. But I’d been feeling sort of abandoned and isolated while you talked to Becky, so when you accused me…”

“You felt violated,” he said.

“I don’t want to rehash everything,” she whispered. “It was painful enough the first time around.”

“Yes. But there is one more thing. Lyle just called me on my cell, after drinking several cups of coffee, and apologized. He said he was out of line…about everything. He said you were the loveliest woman there in that sexy blue dress, and he was drunk and jealous of me. He said I was lucky you’d have me. He said he was going to call my mother and tell her it was high time she quit bad-mouthing you to everybody in town. He said he was going to call you and apologize.”

“That’s…that’s kind of nice.”

“I thought maybe you’d like it.”

She smiled. “Yes, but I see now that it’s what I think about myself that matters.”

“So, what about it—will you still have me?”

She caught her breath and pulled him close. “I love you so much, I’d be crazy not to. I overreacted, too. I was feeling scared at the party surrounded by all those people, imagining them thinking the worst of me. Maybe I was looking for an excuse not to face up to the past and simply let it go. So what if I had a lousy childhood? I’m a success now. You’re more important than the past. I love you too much to let you go so easily.”

“You sure scared the hell out of me.”

“I scared myself, too.”

He laughed. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. I was just too big an idiot to see it.”

“I love you more.”

“I guess we have the rest of our lives to argue about that.”

“You’re forgetting something,” she whispered.

“What?”

“My engagement ring. I want it back!”

He laughed. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled it out. She held up her hand, and he slid it on. Then his lips found hers, and she forgot about the ring, forgot about everything but how much she loved and wanted him.

He loved her, too. Imagine that.

He’d always loved her.