We abandon the compass and the photo of the map as we chase each other—I don’t know who’s doing the chasing so don’t ask—through the woods. Her aim is better than mine, probably because she played netball for so long. I’m faster than her. She’s sneakier, but she has asthma and I’m worried she might run out of oxygen and die in the woods and I’ll have to break the news to Neneh. By the time I bring myself to call a truce, we’re both caked in mud and I’m really hoping there’s a washing machine back at the cabin, or else we are absolutely screwed.
Maybe Celine’s thinking the same thing because she leans against a tree and starts to laugh. A small colony of giggles is rushing to escape her chest; hiccups tumble over one another. It’s so ridiculous, I laugh, too, and next thing I know we’re propping ourselves up against an oak tree, side by side, and—
She runs out of giggles. She has a spot of dry mud just above her eyebrow and her face is so different now, but it’s still the same.
I used to think Celine was the prettiest person on the planet.
Best not to think about that now, though.
“If we have to do this whole thing,” I tell her, “together—”
She looks away from me when I say that. Tilts her head up to the sky. I keep going anyway.
“I can’t spend days at a time fighting with you, Cel.”
“Why not?” she murmurs. “It’s not like they have TV at the cabin.”
I really don’t mean to laugh. She’s not funny. Can’t stand her.
“Bradley—” she says suddenly.
I interrupt. “You’re never going to forgive me.”
“I’m not the forgiving type,” she replies calmly. “I have a dreadful personality.”
“You’re not supposed to just say that”—I scowl—“like it’s okay. You’re supposed to regret that you can’t be the bigger person.”
“Well, I don’t,” she murmurs. “By the way—”
“I’m not forgiving you either.” It’s important she knows that. And now she does, so I barrel on to the next part before I can overthink it. “Can we forget it, though?”
Celine blinks. Her face is unreadable. I keep talking, fast.
“I mean, just…when we’re in places like this. Just act like we’re strangers, or something…and then…it’ll be easier,” I finish. “When we argue, we distract each other. But we both need to do this, to focus, to succeed.” I feel like I woke up in the middle of the night desperate for a wee, and now I’m feeling my way past furniture in the pitch-black with a serious sense of urgency. “Just…let’s…normal?”
Just. Let’s. Normal.
Amazing. Absolute round of applause. I will make an incredible barrister, standing solemnly before the judge as I ask: “Just…let’s…innocent?”
“Fine,” Celine says suddenly, shockingly. “Whatever. As long as you shut up about it. Now, would you listen to me?” Her hand—
Cups my chin.
She’s touching me. She’s touching me. She—
Pushes my head up.
Her fingertips are damp and freezing and my throat, my face, is on fire—
“See?” she says.
I blink hard.
There’s a plastic bag hidden in the tree above us, with a little green booklet inside.
SUNDAY, 9:20 P.M.
Jordan: Have you killed Celine yet or what
Brad: worse
Brad: much worse
Jordan: YOU KISSED HER DIDN’T YOU
Brad: ????
Brad: no???
Brad: why would you say that?
Brad: Jordan
Brad: JORDAN.
Brad: TEXT ME BACK YOU COWARD.
CHAPTER SIX
CELINE
“That game was completely rigged,” I huff.
“You might’ve mentioned that,” Aurora murmurs wryly, “a thousand times or so.”
“Yeah, yeah.” It’s a little past nine and we’re holed up in our room trying to ignore the sounds of the other team’s common room party. They got back seven minutes before us, which is apparently significant enough that they get music and party snacks and we get washing-up duty. Outrageous, if you ask me.
On the plus side, washing up dinner plates doesn’t take long when there’s ten of you to do it, so I’m already sitting here in my room, moaning while I watch Aurora journal. Analogue hobbies fascinate me. Why write stuff down when you could just film, record a voice-over, and throw some sparkles at it? Then again, Aurora does seem relaxed right now. I crane my neck to stare at the plain brown leather of her scrapbook.
“Does that say emotional barometer?” A moment after I ask, I realize it might be an awkward question. Emotions are private; everyone knows that. “You don’t have to tell me,” I add quickly.
Pink spreads across her nose—and her ears, I notice, because Aurora’s ready for bed with her hair in a ponytail, tucked up under the covers. “No, I don’t mind,” she says shyly. “And yes, it does say emotional barometer. I like to track my moods.”
Wild. I only have two moods: pissed and fine. “How come?”
She shrugs. “Hormone cycles and stuff. It’s nice to know when I’m really sad and when I’m just PMSing.”
Well, damn. I stare at her, impressed. “You are so wise. Can I read your palm?”
“Erm,” she says. “No, thank you.”
It’s possible I pout. “Do you bullet journal? Like all those cute Instagram accounts?”
She nods.
“Do you use the pretty tape?”
She nods again.
I am torn apart with jealousy. “I tried to do one of those, but I couldn’t choose a color scheme and my bubble writing looked drunk and/or deeply disturbed.”
“Maybe you’re naturally drawn to a more minimalist style,” she says kindly.
I glance down at my pajamas, dark green with spooky yellow mushrooms all over them. “Um. Maybe.”
She laughs. “So, what’s up with you and Brad?”
At the sound of his name, the air turns solid and still—or maybe that’s just me. I feel strange. What happened between us earlier, out in the woods, was weird. I don’t want to think about it and I definitely don’t want to talk. “Er…” I squint, searching for signs of a slight fold in the space-time continuum. “Am I losing time? Did I just slip past a whole conversation where we worked up to this?”
Aurora ducks her head. “No. Sorry. I just…I thought I’d ask before I could convince myself not to.” She wince-laughs and it is annoyingly charming. I really do like her, even though my fight-or-flight instincts would love to tell her to back off right now.
But that would be immature, and while my mental age is stuck around twelve, I need to get better at hiding that if I plan to be a Fabulously Wealthy and Agonizingly Successful Legal Professional. So instead of ignoring her and going huffily to sleep, I arrange the raggedy, off-white duvet more neatly over my lap and mutter, “Just…Warm a girl up first, would you?”
Her laugh is cautious this time, like she’s worried she’s pissed me off. “You don’t have to—”
“No, it’s fine.” I sigh, mostly because I think Aurora is like a cat—very sensitive to bad vibes. I don’t want her to think I’m annoyed. I mean, I am annoyed, but not with her. Why is everyone bringing the past up today? Her, Brad…
Whatever. Who cares? “We go to the same school.” But she already knew that after our introductions earlier. I pick at a loose thread on my pajamas.
“Have you known each other long?” She sounds interested, and not in a gossipy way, just a normal, curious way. It occurs to me that no one really knows the full story of Bradley and me. Our parents know the, er, parent-safe parts (you can’t tell them all your feelings, or they’ll get upset; that’s just a basic of proper parent-care), and Michaela knows…the surface stuff? But I never got into detail with her because by the time we became friends, there wasn’t any point. Brad and I hated each other; everyone knew it; people barely remembered what we’d been before. It was the Mandela Effect; it was a mass hallucination. Brad and Celine? God, they’ve been enemies since birth.
That’s not the truth.
I wonder if Brad tells his perfect, plastic friends about the way we used to be. I wonder if he tells his only likeable mate Jordan Cooper about me, and whether they talk about it seriously, the way they sit under that weeping willow on the field and talk about books.
“Our mums are best friends,” I explain, “and we’re the same age so we were best friends too. We applied to the same secondary school and stuck together, and I was…well.” I take a breath and when I exhale it shakes. “In primary school, I was the kid everyone made fun of.”
“That’s rough,” Aurora says wryly. “Obviously, I can’t relate.”