Highland Master

chapter 13



Catriona paced while she waited with her brothers, annoyed at their refusal to tell her more but knowing it would do no good to press them. Neither Ivor nor James had made further comment. Both men sat silently, watching her pace.

When the door opened, she started violently and whirled to see Shaw filling the doorway, his expression grim.

“What have you done to him, sir?” she demanded.

Raising his eyebrows in clear objection to her tone, Shaw said, “Ye’ll come into yon chamber with me now, Catriona.”

She swallowed hard but said, “Prithee, sir, where is he?”

“I warned ye, lass, that I had things to say to ye. I would say them to ye now.” He stood aside, gesturing implacably toward the chamber across the landing.

With much the same sense of doom that she had felt as a child ordered to that chamber, she collected herself only to feel shaken again when Ivor shot her a look of sympathy. Hoping that she could maintain her dignity through what lay ahead, she walked past her father, crossed the landing, and entered the larger chamber.

Fin stood by the hearth, looking solemn but otherwise at ease.

Her heart had been pounding, but seeing him apparently unaffected by whatever had occurred between him and her father steadied her.

She was about to speak when Shaw said, “Look at me, Catriona.”

Closing her mouth, she turned to face him.

Instead of the scolding that she had expected, he said, “I have told Sir Finlagh that he may describe for you the discussion we have had as he chooses and the outcome that I expect from it, as well. I know I can trust him to make my position and that of your lord grandfather clear to ye, lass. I’ll trust ye, too, to recall your own part in the matter as ye talk it over with him.”

“Aye, sir, I will,” she said.

Nodding, he went on, “When ye’ve finished here, ye’ll retire to your chamber for the night. That will spare ye the need to talk with any of the other women. Likewise, ye’re to spare Ailvie any details until tomorrow. I will be most displeased if she prattles to anyone about this. Do you understand me, Catriona?”

“I… I think so,” she said, aware that she still understood little but hoping that Fin would explain what was happening. She had a strong feeling that if she demanded clarification from Shaw, she would get more than she wanted to hear and perhaps more than just words. He already looked most displeased with her.

She did not breathe easily until he had gone, shutting the door behind him and leaving her alone with Fin, who still stood quietly behind her at the hearth.

He had not said a word, so she turned slowly to face him, vaguely aware when a glowing ember in the fireplace cracked and shot sparks into the air. Her gaze sought his, but when they met, her sense of increasing ease shifted to wariness.

He did not look any more pleased with her than her father had. His expression was not as intimidating as Shaw’s had been, but neither did it give any hint of what Fin might say to her or what he was feeling.

“What did he say to you?” she asked with more force than she had intended.

He continued to hold her gaze, but his expression altered when she spoke, as if he were gauging her mood in much the same way that she was trying to judge his.

She felt herself begin to relax again. Something about Fin made it easy to be with him even when he was displeased. He might contradict her—sakes, contradiction was a habit with him—but he did not customarily dismiss what she said as James sometimes did, or tell her that she just ought to trust and obey him as Ivor far too often did. Fin talked to her as if she had wits of her own. In fact, if he became irked with her, it was usually because she was not using them.

At last, without moving toward her or suggesting that they sit but with his expression hardening as if he had resolved upon something, he said, “What you said out there to Rothesay… Was there even a grain of truth in it, Catriona?”

Remembering Ivor’s declaration that she had thrown Fin into the devil’s own fire with her words, she said ruefully, “I am sorry about that, sir. I’d meant to explain the whole thing to Father myself, although James said that it would do no good. But Father and Granddad can mend matters for you, I’m sure.”

“What were you going to tell your father?”

“Why, that I had said what I did only to make Rothesay leave me be, of course. I thought you realized that.”

“I did,” he said.

Reassured, she went on, “Sithee, you had kept silent for so long by then that I did not know what to think. After Rothesay declared that you wanted me for yourself, I did hope that you would not proclaim to the ceiling beams that you wanted none of me. But, in troth, I could not be sure of that because of your so strong sense of honor. I certainly expected you to tell Father straight out that I had lied. But Ivor said that you would not.”

“Ivor was right. Nor could I have reconciled it with my sense of honor to abandon an innocent maiden to Rothesay’s clutches.”

“I expect you mean that to call me a liar would be a sort of betrayal, but—”

“I do mean that,” he said. “Recall that I know Rothesay’s habits better than you do. But tell me something else. Why did you frown at me?”

“When?”

“Don’t try me further tonight, Cat. My patience is spent.”

“If you mean when you confronted him as you did—mercy, sir, you as much as challenged him! I could see that you were making him angry, and you had already annoyed him earlier, for he said that you had abandoned him.”

“To which I said…?”

“That he had commanded you.” She sighed, realizing that she had overstepped. “I expect the truth is that the two of you toe-to-toe like that frightened me witless, although you will say that I ought to have known you could manage him. Sakes, the plain truth is that I took umbrage when you told me to hush.”

Fin replied mildly, “You were not helping, but I’m glad you realize that anyone who tells Rothesay that he is behaving badly treads on dangerous ground.”

“Well, then—”

“Sithee, lass, your resistance to his advances merely spurred him on at first,” he said. “But I could see that you were getting angry enough with him to behave in a way that he would not tolerate. You have yet to give me a clear answer, though, to the most important part of my question. Was there any truth in what you said to him about your feelings for me, or was that declaration just a lie?”

She hesitated, wondering what he hoped she would say and wondering, too, just how strongly she did care for him. A short while before, facing her father on his entrance to the room across the hall, Fin had been all that she could think about.

She had feared for him, feared what Shaw might have said to him, and feared that Fin might never forgive her for making him face her father in such a way.

The truth was that she loved being with Fin. He fascinated her, he made her think about things that she had rarely considered before, and he listened to her. He made her opinions seem worthy, even interesting.

His beautiful eyes let her see straight to his thoughts whenever he allowed it, and he had ways of looking at her that she could feel to her very soul.

But what did she know of him other than what he had revealed to her? And how fair would it be to let him think she cared enough to marry him but not enough to ride off with him and live among strangers… enemies… when he had to leave her?

“May I ask you a question, sir?”

“Aye, anything,” he said.

“Anything? Sakes, but you say that so easily. Do you not fear that someone may ask you a question so personal that you have never had the courage to share its answer with anyone? Most people do have such personal secrets, after all.”

There was, briefly, an arrested look in his eyes. But it vanished and he said, “I will answer any question that you ask me if I can, personal or otherwise.”

She watched him carefully, determined to note his every move and catch his slightest expression, so that she could accurately judge his response. Then she said, “Have you told me everything about yourself that I should know?”



Fin considered her question and how he should answer it, nearly smiling at how quickly she’d fulfilled her father’s prediction that she would call him to account.

Shaw had been right in saying that she would have to know about his family. Fin knew that would have to tell her more about himself, too, because sooner or later he would take her to Loch Arkaig and she would see that the original seat of the Mackintosh was also the original home of Fin Cameron.

Recalling Ivor’s description of her as a wildcat, he suspected that fur and claws would likely fly when they did have that talk. So to have it now would be unwise. Only when he could be private with her without fear of interruption would he tell her all that she wanted to know.

He would not do so where Ivor or James might walk in or where she could easily walk off, bolt her door, and refuse to talk to him.

At last, seeing clear signs of impatience in her expression, he said, “Cat, sheathe your claws. I cannot possibly have told you all that you may want to know about me. I can think of two or three things straight off that I cannot tell you because they relate to people who would take a dim view of my sharing their confidences with you. I’ll admit, too, that there are things that I have not told you as a friend that I would feel obliged to tell you under other circumstances.”

“What circumstances? You cannot mean that you would tell an enemy.”

He waited, knowing how quick she was, and she did not disappoint him.

“You mean if I do agree to… if we… that is if you were to…”

“Just answer my question,” he said quietly when she faltered. “Did what you said to Rothesay reflect feelings that you do have for me, or did you lie to him?”

Visibly swallowing, she said, “I think I may regret saying this, but I… I believe that there may be some truth to what I said. Still—”

His heart leaped, startling him with the surge of emotion and more physical responses that coursed through him. “Art sure, lass?” he asked, hearing his voice crack on the words. “Recall before you answer me that you did apologize to me and tell me that you had said it only to make Rothesay leave you alone.”

“Must you contradict even my half-formed thoughts, sir, and use my own words against me when you do?”

He took a step toward her, realized that he had done so impulsively, and recollected himself to say, “I am not contradicting you. I just need to know what you feel now, to have some idea of how you will react to what must occur next. Sithee, there is one thing that I must be sure is clear to you before we leave this chamber.”



Catriona stared at Fin as a flurry of thoughts danced through her mind, including the last thing that her father had said to her, that Fin would make clear what Shaw’s position was, and that of the Mackintosh.

Abruptly, the truth dawned.

“God-a-mercy, they mean to make you marry me!”

“The Mackintosh and your father have discussed it,” he said. “That is to say, they have discussed us and they have discussed Rothesay. Your grandfather has decreed, and Shaw agrees with him, that nowt shall happen to cause ructions between the house of Mackintosh and that of Stewart. So they do suggest—”

“They insist, more like! But I never meant—”

“Whatever you meant, you have wreaked havoc, lass. Try to imagine, if you will, what Rothesay’s reaction will be if he learns that you lied to him to evade his attentions. He is young and gey proud, and such a tale would spread fast.”

Wincing at the image he’d created in her mind, she said, “I do know that others were nearby. Ivor said that most of them would delight in telling the tale.”

He nodded.

With a sigh, knowing that she could not defy them all and knowing, too, that she did not want to defy them if it meant never seeing Fin again, she said, “Very well. They may give it out that we will marry. Then we’ll see. But there is one thing that you should understand clearly about me before we do this, sir.”

As she spoke, he had moved closer, much too close. He looked into her eyes. “What is it that I must understand?” he asked.

Striving to keep her emotions out of her voice, she said, “I do not like it when men assume that I cannot look after myself. Because I can, sir, and I do.”

“Ah, lassie, come here,” he said, pulling her into his arms. “I have seen that you can. You are intrepid. By my troth, though, that worries me more than any weakness you may have, because no woman is always capable of looking after herself—or any man, either, come to that.”

“It is something, I expect, that you will admit that,” she murmured, leaning into him and welcoming his embrace. As she did, she realized something else. “You have not said what you think of all this. You must be vexed with me and hate as much as I do that they are forcing you to do this. Also, if what I’ve done puts you in bad odor with Rothesay, whom you do serve…”



She sounded sincerely worried, so when she paused, Fin hugged her and said, “Davy will recover from his displeasure the first time he needs me, lass. And I am not vexed with you or even opposed to your father’s plan for us, although it may complicate my life for a time. Especially with my family.”

She nodded. “I expect it will. I doubt they will like our marrying.”

“Whether they do or not, they seem to be honoring the truce,” he said. “In any event, after we marry, they will want to meet you.” He did not add that his brother Ewan would say that they ought to have met her long before then. What Ewan would say about Fin’s marrying a Mackintosh, Fin did not want to imagine.

Catriona said quietly, “My feelings about leaving Loch an Eilein have not changed, sir. I have seen, with Morag, how hard it is to live amongst strangers even when their clans have never been enemies. We have nearly always been at odds with the Camerons. Also, if you have not seen your kinsmen for some time…”

“Not since the battle at Perth,” he said.

“God-a-mercy, they must think that you died there!”

“I don’t know what they think,” Fin admitted. “I doubt that anyone but Ivor knew who I was when I left the field. So folks in Lochaber likely do believe that all thirty of the Camerons at Perth died there. But I like to think that my family will be glad to learn that I did not and will likewise welcome the woman who so recently kept another rogue from killing me. But if they are not glad about the first—”

“Why would they not be?”

He had not meant to raise that subject. But he said honestly, “The men of my family number amongst those who would think that leaving as I did was cowardly.”

When she did not comment, he experienced a moment of uncertainty. “Look at me, Catriona.” When she did, he said, “Art sure that you do not agree that it was? I would not blame you if you did. I know that we talked about—”

“Ivor believed that you should leave. That is enough for me, Fin Cameron, just as it was for you. Sakes, no sensible person could believe that a man who outlasted his opponents and twenty-nine of his companions on such a day is a coward.”

Her tone made it impossible to disbelieve her. He began to relax.

“There is another thing, though,” she said. “Since you were able to intervene with Rothesay, I do think you might have stood up to my father as well. Marrying you is a far better fate than marrying Rory Comyn, but if you let them force you—”

“I think you know that at this point I have as little to say about it as you do,” he said. “If you want me to tell them that you still oppose the match, I will. But you ken fine that they care more about protecting you than acceding to your wishes.”

“Will you really tell them that I don’t want them to make me marry you?”

“I will.”

“They may listen to you,” she said. “Go and do it then. I warrant Father must be waiting for you across the hall with Ivor and James.”

Accordingly, Fin walked to the landing with her and watched until she had vanished around the first curve of the stairs. Then, rapping on the door across the way and hearing only silence, he opened it to an empty room.

“Beg pardon, sir.”

Turning, he saw Tadhg on the stairs below him. “Aye, what is it?”

“The laird be in the inner chamber wi’ the Mackintosh and them. He would see ye there now that her ladyship has gone up for the night. And, sir?”

“What else?”

“I say it be a fine notion that ye be going tae marry our lady Catriona.”

“Sakes, does the whole castle know what goes on here tonight?”

“Nay, sir, but I were at hand when the laird told the Mackintosh it be all set.”

“I’ll go down at once, Tadhg. Prithee, go to my room and tell my squire that I shall be along shortly. He is to wait for me. But do not share this news with him.”

Waiting only for the boy’s assent, Fin went down to the hall.

When Aodán admitted him to the inner chamber, he saw not only Shaw and the Mackintosh but their ladies, Rothesay, and Alex Stewart as well. Donald had apparently retired for the night, and neither James nor Ivor was there, nor Morag.

Fin wished Ivor were there. Without him, he felt alone against many again.

Rothesay grinned at him, clearly still enjoying himself, and Alex also looked amused. Shaw looked as stern as usual, the Mackintosh quietly pleased.

Catching the lady Ealga’s eye, Fin received a warm smile.

Lady Annis eyed him more measuringly.

“Is all well above?” Shaw asked him.

With Rothesay and Alex there, Fin said only, “Aye, sir,” and hoped Shaw would know that he preferred to say no more than that in their presence.

Rothesay said, “How could it be otherwise? ’Tis grand to be so delightfully amused as we have been this evening. We must proceed at once with the wedding.”



Catriona reached her landing to find Boreas lying at her door, his small gray shadow curled tightly atop him. The dog blinked at her, moving only its tail. The kitten raised its head and greeted her with a plaintive “mew.”

Opening the door to let them in, she felt her mood lighten and realized that her last exchange with Fin had still weighed on her mind. She felt as if she had cast him into the briars again. But he did enjoy debating anything with her, so it had seemed reasonable that he might persuade Shaw and her grandfather that the wedding need not take place. Not yet. Perhaps later… someday.

She sighed. The fact was that she did want to marry him, very much.

Just thinking of his touch was enough to make her feel it again through every fiber of her body. When he held her, she felt as if she belonged in his arms.

She could recall no one since childhood who had comforted her so tenderly. Perversely, that thought made her wonder if her insistence that she could take care of herself had made him think her childish. He had called her “lassie” then, had he not?

Pondering that thought while Boreas and his kitten resettled themselves beside the bed, she realized that Ailvie ought to be there. But the washstand ewer was empty, so perhaps it was not as late as she had thought.

Moving to look out the window, she tried to decide if she would like being married. The thought of leaving home still chilled her to the bone. And Fin had not ever responded when she’d told him that she had not changed her mind about that.

Perhaps he understood her feelings and would live at Rothiemurchus. If so, when he had to follow Rothesay into battle or elsewhere, she could stay with her family instead of with enemy strangers whom he must barely know himself by now.

She was still pondering so when the latch clicked and the door opened.

Assuming that it must be Ailvie, she said without turning, “I wondered if I should have to send for you. Is it not growing late?”

The door shut, and the last voice she expected to hear then said, “Ailvie is not here because I sent my woman to tell her not to come until I send for her.”

“Grandame!” Catriona exclaimed, turning. “What are you—? That is…”

“I have heard of some strange ways to announce a wedding, Catriona,” Lady Annis said tartly. “But the usual custom is not for the bride to declare her intention so publicly, nor so directly to the heir to Scotland’s throne. Do you not think that you might at least have told someone before now that young Sir Finlagh attracted you? He does do so, I trust, since you must marry him tonight.”

“Tonight! But he said—”

“Never mind what he may have said. Rothesay wants to see a wedding at once. And your grandfather means to provide him with one, because he decided some time ago that this Fin of the Battles is an excellent choice for you.”

“D-did he?” Catriona could scarcely breathe, let alone respond sensibly.

“Aye, he did. Sithee, he knew from the moment he clapped eyes on him that the lad was a Cameron. And not just any Cameron, mind you, but the son of the great archer, Teàrlach MacGillony, which makes him perfectly suitable to marry you.”

“It does?”

“Aye, sure, because coming from that branch of the family, he is just the sort of match, your grandfather says, to help him keep this truce in place betwixt the Camerons and Clan Chattan. That is of the utmost importance, he says.”

“But, Grandame, I—”

“This decision is not about you, Catriona, so you can put that notion right out of your head. And if you mean to cause trouble by losing your temper or enacting some other drama, I strongly advise you to think again. Your father is not in a mood to be either amused or indulgent. In troth, you should be grateful that I persuaded him and your grandfather that I should be the one to relay their decision to you.”

“Prithee, if you will just—”

“Hush,” Lady Annis commanded, determined as usual to have the last word. “Rothesay means to have his way. So you will be sleeping tonight with the man.”

Catriona’s imagination promptly produced an image of Rothesay in her bed, but there was naught in that image to amuse her, and she knew that it was not what Lady Annis had meant. But she did not want to think about Fin in her bed either.

That image was much too disturbing, and if she was to retain any respect for herself, she could think about only one thing now.

As she strode to the door, Lady Annis exclaimed, “Where are you going?”

“To end this,” Catriona declared. She could not recall ever defying her grandmother before. But she could not let them force Fin to marry her even if she was as angry with him now as she was with herself and everyone else.



After Rothesay’s declaration that the wedding should proceed at once, Fin had tried to catch Shaw’s eye, hoping to indicate that they needed to talk. But the conversation had immediately become general, with the women and Alex Stewart exclaiming and asking questions about how the wedding should proceed.

Lady Annis had exchanged a look with the Mackintosh and then left the chamber, declaring that she would inform Catriona of their decision.

“There can be no difficulty about a priest,” Rothesay said in answer now to a question from Lady Ealga. “There are many ways around that, but we’ll just roust out the real mendicant friar amongst Donald’s lads and let him marry them.”

Shaw, listening to them, seemed unaware of Fin’s tension.

Alex still looked amused, as if he watched the antics of jesters.

Seizing on a pause that fell, Fin said, “With respect, my lords, I believe that such a hasty affair may not serve as well as one accomplished with more thought.”

The Mackintosh said testily, “The lass blurted it out to all and sundry, Fin. So there is no reason to delay and every reason to proceed. I ken fine that this puts ye in an unfortunate position, lad—with your own folks not being here,” he added with a glance at Rothesay. “In troth, though, ye’ve been spending so much time with the lass that it has stirred speculation, as such behavior always does. So unless ye expect now to give her the lie and look as if ye’ve been trifling with her—”

“You know I won’t do that, sir. By my troth, I do want to marry her.”

He meant that. No longer was he doing the honorable thing or one that he did not mind doing. Catriona had come to mean much more to him than that.

Even so, he had promised that he would speak for her.

“However,” he added, looking from one man to the next, “I must tell you that… that even now her ladyship is having second thoughts. She—”

“Nae doots, she’ll be nervous, what with Rothesay here, and all,” the Mackintosh interjected. “But her grandame will see to her.”

“Aye, lad,” Shaw said. “ ’Tis better to do it at once before the rumors start.”

“Then that be settled,” Mackintosh said. “Sakes, but ye cannot wait about whilst she has bride clothes made and the like. Rothesay wants to get back to his own business as soon as he reaches agreement with Alex and Donald. Also, lad, if ye marry quick, ye’ll have time to enjoy your lass afore ye have to leave with him.”

As Fin opened his mouth to respond, the door flew open and the lass he was supposed to enjoy strode into the room, her golden eyes flashing.

She fixed her gaze on him at once. “I thought you were going to tell them, sir. Instead, we are now going to marry at once? Sakes, but I—”

Shaw said curtly, “Catriona, that will do!”

She turned to him next. “Will it, Father? God-a-mercy, you may order me to bed one moment and command me to marry the next, but you must not force F—”

Her words ended in a gasp and a cry when Shaw’s hard slap silenced her.

“Not another word,” he snapped. “To shame your lord grandfather and me by behaving so before such a company surpasses anything ye’ve done before! Ye’ll do as we bid you, or by God, I will make you sorrier than you have ever—”

“No, sir,” Fin cut in coldly. “You will not. Not unless you want me to call an end to my part in this marriage right now.”