Hidden Paradise

chapter TWENTY-SEVEN



Lou showed Rob the barn the next morning.

“Bloody hell,” he said, staring at the dusty interior crammed with broken farm implements and pieces of furniture and things Lou had never dared examine.

“This stuff has been here for years,” she said. “The buyers need the space for their goats and chickens so I offered to clear it out, since they gave me such a good price.”

They hitched up the trailer and truck and Lou backed them up to the barn door. Rob was already dragging rusty items out. “What if I find something that might be valuable?”

“I doubt you will, but leave it aside. I’ll offer it to the antiques dealer in town. Be careful. Drink lots of water. You’re at a higher altitude than you’re used to and you don’t want to get dehydrated.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She went back to sorting and boxing books. So many books, so many memories. She resisted the impulse to leaf through favorites and read them; she knew nothing would get done if she let herself be distracted. Julian’s books would be offered to his colleagues. Most of hers would go into storage, the remainder would go with her wherever she went.

She slapped a red label on a box to designate it for storage and decided to check on Rob.

His shirt hung on a nail near the entrance and she paused to admire the sight of him wearing only a pair of shorts. For the first time since Julian’s death, she’d gone into his side of the closet where his clothes had hung undisturbed, and found work boots and work gloves for Rob to wear. To her relief the clothes had felt impersonal, those of a stranger.

Rob saw her approach, waved and removed the earbuds of his iPod and then his work gloves.

“Find anything good?” she asked.

“Only some ancient porn. I thought you’d like to see it.” He nodded toward a pile of magazines. “Those girls’ tits are amazing, like tactical weapons or something. But it’s pretty tame stuff.”

Lou looked at the magazines that did indeed feature pouting women with conical breasts and laughed. “I guess the farmer came out here for a bit of solo relaxation.” She tossed them onto the trailer. “You’re doing great. We can take a trip out to the dump this afternoon, meet the neighbors.”

He brushed off some of the dirt and kissed her. “How are the books coming along?”

“I think they’re breeding. My efforts don’t make any difference.” She could smell his sweat, earthy and delicious. She pressed him up against the side of the trailer. “You remember your oral sex lessons? We forgot something rather important.”

She ran her hands down his bare chest.

He tugged at her T-shirt but she brushed his hands away. “Observation only this time.”

She found the fastening to his shorts and pressed her palm against the swell behind his zipper. He sucked his breath in as she unfastened and unzipped, stroking. His cock was hard and smooth and warm, springing into her hand.

She murmured against his lips, “I’m going to suck it, Rob. Think you’d like that?”

He made a sound, half gasp, half groan.

She played with him a little, stroking and pinching while he pressed hot and eager into her hand. By the time she slid to her knees before him, his eyes were closed as if in pain, but he opened them wide when she blew gently on his cock. His scent, fresh male sweat, balanced with an earthiness, a little pungent, rose to her nostrils.

“That feels good,” he said.

Oh, she had much more to show him. She darted out her tongue and wove a seductive, wet pattern around the tip. In response, a bead of liquid welled from the coral-colored slit. She swiped it up with her finger and sucked the salty sweetness into her mouth.

He sighed and shuddered as she returned her mouth to his cock, sucking him in deep, tonguing him hard and then with a featherlight touch, and adding in the occasional tender scrape of teeth.

“How’s that?” she said, lifting her head.

“Brilliant. Could you do it some more?”

She did, this time stroking his balls and the tender skin on the inside of his thighs, enjoying the way his entire body tensed, the small, involuntary movements of his hips, and his murmurs and sighs of appreciation.

“Lou,” he said, his voice urgent, “oh, Lou, I’m going to come. In your mouth.” He tensed, head thrown back, hands gripping the side of the trailer, and thrust into her mouth, shaking, crying out. His semen filled her mouth. She swallowed, choked a little at another spasm and another, warm and copious.

He sighed. “That was incredible. Sorry there was so much. Did you enjoy it?”

She wiped her mouth and gave his softening cock a kiss. “Yes, I did. It’s very gratifying to give pleasure, and to reduce your lover to quivering helplessness.”

“Did I taste okay?” He cleared his throat and said, “I mean, it’s sort of personal, isn’t it?”

“In the best possible way.” She rose to her feet. “Taste yourself.”

He shuddered as he kissed her, groaning as he had when he came. With her mouth on his, he undid her jeans, pushing them down, burying his fingers inside her. “I don’t have a condom on me,” he said against her mouth. “Didn’t think I’d need one out here. But I’m going to make you come, Lou.”

She kicked away one flip-flop and extricated a leg from her jeans, raising it to his waist as he touched and rubbed. His tongue silenced her, filled her, and only after she’d come did he release her.

She dropped her head onto his shoulder. His cock, hardening again, pressed between them. “We’ll never get any work done if we keep doing this,” she said.

“Okay.” Laughing, he pulled his shorts up from where they’d fallen around his ankles. “We’ll save this one for later.”

“I was thinking you might be hungry,” she said, getting back into her jeans. “It’s getting pretty hot in this barn, too. Maybe we could take a nap after lunch.”

“Great idea.” Hand in hand, they strolled back to the house.

* * *

SHE LIKED HAVING A MAN IN THE house again, but she also found Rob’s presence annoying. It drove her insane when he was plugged into his iPod and she found herself shouting and waving to get his attention. He could spend hours channel surfing or tapping messages on his smartphone.

But he made up for it in bed, tender, affectionate and considerate. She found his enthusiasm for the ranch touching. She even gave him a riding lesson on Maisie, which he claimed to enjoy.

She couldn’t explain that her time here had been the happiest in her life. That when she found out about Julian’s betrayal and infidelity, those memories became tainted, ugly. You couldn’t stay in paradise once your innocence was destroyed.

It was the one topic she and Rob argued about.

“This has to be the most beautiful place in the world,” he said, gesturing at the mountains as they sat on the porch one evening. “I can’t believe you’re leaving it.”

“There are other places,” she said, “and yes, it is beautiful, but it’s hard here. The winters are awful if you live alone. This was Julian’s place. I followed along.”

“I think you’re nuts,” he said.

She drained her beer and placed the bottle on the deck. “You may be right, Rob, I may be nuts. But there’s also a lot you don’t know about me and what I want.”

He stood and glared at her, then marched back into the house.

It was almost dark. She sat looking out at the indigo sky, the moon rising above the mountains, sorry that she had offended him.

She gave him a little time, and then followed him back into the kitchen. His back to her, he paid a great deal of attention to unloading the dishwasher, placing plates carefully onto a shelf.

“Sorry,” she said, putting her arms around his waist.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry. I was being presumptuous.” He turned and took her in his arms. “I know you’re unhappy. I want to help.”

“You do help.” She rested her face against his shoulder, allowing herself to find solace, however temporary, in his arms.

He would, and should, leave her soon. They might maintain some sort of friendship but at the moment she was still too much the elder, he the acolyte. The eight years’ difference might not be so divisive in five or ten years’ time. It would be interesting to find out what sort of man he became, where his curiosity and smarts and generosity would take him. Almost certainly he’d find a girlfriend once he started college, and she envied him the adventures ahead.

He knew where he was going, at least. She didn’t, only that she was leaving the ranch.

* * *

OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS, THEY worked well together, carrying boxes and loading and unloading. Down to only the bare necessities in the house, Lou had hired a van to take a few pieces of furniture, her personal possessions and her books to a friend’s house in town.

Rob, cross-legged on the floor between boxes, looked up from his phone. “Lou, we’re nearly done here, right?”

“Just about. Would you like to take off soon?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, it’s been great and I’ve loved hanging out with you, but you don’t need me anymore.”

“You’re right. I think you should go have adventures. It’s beautiful here but we’re too far from anything for you to have any real fun.”

“I’ve had real fun with you, Lou.” He grinned. “But see, if I change my flights and leave the day after tomorrow, I can meet up with some people in New York. Di’s at her cousin’s on Long Island and she invited me to stay.”

Ah. Di. He’d mentioned her quite often. “That sounds like a great idea,” Lou said. “You’ll love New York.”

“But I don’t want to leave you alone. You’ve got to get the truck loaded when you move out. And, you know, in case you get sad.”

“It’s okay. My neighbors can help.” She smiled. “My ghosts are laid to rest. And a lot of that is due to you.”

“Aw shucks, ma’am,” he said in a terrible American accent and clicked away at lightning speed on his phone. “Okay. I’m set. The plane leaves at ten-thirty, day after tomorrow. You sure that’s okay?”

“Absolutely. I’ll make you pay in bed.”

“Brilliant.”

* * *


Mac, two days later

HE DIDN’T TRUST THE GPS IN this wild country but it was all he had to go on, since maps showed only a series of roads running in straight lines. He’d never been out West before; to the West Coast plenty of times, but this was something different, cowboy country. Wolf country. The Wild West.

It was a far cry from being a Regency gentleman.

Lou wouldn’t answer his emails, or Peter’s. Thank God he had a spy in the camp, the ever-efficient Rob.

His GPS told him to turn in one mile. Since he’d been on this highway for over fifty miles, the prospect of turning the steering wheel was quite thrilling.

At the turn, a mailbox marked Connolly told him he was close to his destination. He drove carefully down a dirt road and arrived in front of a small ranch house and a couple of outbuildings; but the view, sloping up to the mountains, was spectacular.

Someone was leaving, driving a truck up another dirt road that wound away from the house toward the mountains. He got out of the car and stretched. No one around, just a couple of dogs lounging on the porch. They sprang to their feet and barked loudly, tails wagging, and then came over to investigate him. He must have looked fairly harmless because seconds after their initial ferocity one rolled over to have its belly tickled, while the other one pranced around in an invitation to play.

“Anyone home?” he shouted, in case the barking hadn’t succeeded in announcing his arrival. You never knew on farms; people might be walking around naked. He’d be quite happy to see Lou naked, or even fully clothed at this point.

A cloud of dust disappeared around a bend in the dirt road—probably trailing a vehicle that had left the farm and gone that way. He got back in the car and followed. He didn’t have far to go. After a few minutes, the dirt road petered out into a few ruts and he found a truck parked on the verge of a meadow of long golden grass, dotted with scrub oak and sage, and with a few grazing cattle.

Lou, wearing a pair of jeans and a shirt, was absorbed in placing stones in a circle about a foot in diameter. Apparently she hadn’t heard him drive up. She stood, brushing off her hands, and reached to throw a few pieces of dry vegetation into the circle of stones. Reaching into the front pocket of her jeans, she pulled out a lighter and with the other hand, a bundle of paper from her back pocket. This didn’t look good.

“Lou!” he shouted.

She looked up with what looked like annoyance on her face as the papers flared into flame. But then her face softened as he approached. “I’m not burning it,” she said, even though he already knew that. Then, “How did you find me?”

“Our mutual friend Rob.”

“I’m surprised it took you so long.” She gave him a grin.

“How are you doing?”

“I’m good,” she said and added, “pretty much.”

They both watched the paper burn.

“What is it?” he asked.

The paper blackened, curled, fell into ash. She watched it turn gray and then stamped on it, making sure that no live sparks remained.

“Julian and I were married here,” she said. “I scattered his ashes here.” She poked a foot at the embers. “And I just burned the evidence of his affair here. The whole time we were married. I never knew. He was in love with hard copy, you see. He never met an email he wouldn’t print out and leave somewhere. I found it in the lining of my bag the day when I went to the lodge to use the phone.”

“Passion and inconstancy,” Mac said, understanding why she had been so distraught, why she had run.

“Exactly,” she said. “I’m guessing you found it.”

“Yes, after a lot of raging and wild speculation. At first, I was ready to accuse you of destroying a historical artifact, breaking my heart, ruining my career, the works.”

“I don’t blame you.”

Uncertain, he reached into his pocket. “I don’t know if you want this back.” He handed her the ruby on a gold chain.

She took it, gazing at it. “It’s a beautiful stone but I don’t know if I’ll ever want to wear it again. Would you like to give it to your little girl when she’s grown up? If you don’t mind her having a stone with unhappy connotations, that is.”

“I think the connotations would depend on who wore it.” He hesitated, afraid she’d refuse, and said, “Why don’t you give it to her when you meet her? If you’d like to, that is.”

She smiled, looking thoughtfully up at him. “Thank you. I’d like that very much.” She dropped the pendant into her shirt pocket and finally, thank God, took his hand. “How long did it take you to figure out where it was?”

He clasped her hand against his chest, drawing her closer. “I knew you were upset, but I couldn’t bring myself to believe that you would destroy anything related to Austen, not when I could think about it rationally. I also knew you’d only tell Peter and Chris about it, if you told anyone, and you obviously hadn’t. I nearly went off on a wild-goose chase trying to find the storage facility of some museum that was protected like the Pentagon, according to the Paint Boys. But the more I thought about it, the more I became convinced that you would protect the rat’s nest—”

“Oh, don’t call it that.”

“Okay, the Austen rat’s nest. The possible Austen rat’s nest. And what better place for it than where it was first found. Sooner or later someone would get to it legitimately. If it had been safe there for two centuries, it would surely be safe there now.”

She nodded. “I put it back with the pendant after I found out about Julian. Everyone was asleep and the Paint Boys were out.”

“It’s still there, still safe,” he said. “So…what now, Lou? Peter and Chris are fairly sure they have the funding for the education center. You have a job offer in your email.”

“Oh.” She didn’t sound nearly as excited as he thought she might.

“Uh-oh, you have that expression on your face again.”

“I know, I’m thinking.” She looked at him with some trepidation. “I guess I just want to know what…all my options are. The sort of options even Peter and Chris wouldn’t spell out.”

He smiled. “Well, if you’re trying to decide whether to take the job, you should know the position comes with a lover. Possibly two lovers at Christmas when Rob’s back from Cambridge.”

“What?”

“I accepted a job doing media there. I told Peter and Chris I’d take it officially after I broke a major story, because they’d need someone to handle fallout. They’re going crazy trying to figure out what the major story is. I wanted you to have the honor of telling them about it.”

The relief, the happiness, on her face was palpable. “That’s wonderful, Mac.” Finally, she touched him, throwing her arms around him. “But I don’t know about the two lovers at Christmas. As delightful as that would be, I just want the one.” She kissed him. “I love you, Mac. I love you for having faith in me, for coming out here to find me. Even after everything.”

She felt so good, so right in his arms.

“I’ve never been out West before,” he said. “It’s a whole different culture. F*cking in flatbed trucks, for instance.”

“Oh, don’t beat around the bush, Mac.” She raised her eyebrows in the way he loved.

“I love it when you go all sardonic on me. How about it? Beating around your bush?”

“You journalists have such a way with words. Don’t blame me if you get sunburn on your butt.”

“Ma’am, I’m prepared. I have sunscreen and condoms with me.”

They were both a little shy at first, getting to know each other again. He knew Rob had screwed her ass off while he was here, which for some reason didn’t bother him as much as it should have. Rob was a friend. More than a friend—a sort of (almost) platonic lover; he couldn’t come up with a good definition for it. But someone he cared about.

“I’m going to cover every inch of you with sunscreen,” he said as they lay together on a blanket in the back of the flatbed truck. “You’re beautiful in sunlight.”

“Put a condom on that before it burns.”

God, he loved a practical woman.