chapter Six
She led the way into her room. They followed and Colm shut the door. She looked at it, but wasn’t going to argue about it. She didn’t fear that they would hurt her physically. It was only that it was really the first time that she’d been alone with both of them. It made her nervous and she had to focus to keep her breathing slow and even. She didn’t want them to know how much they affected her. They weren’t stupid. Eventually, they’d realize that it wasn’t only fear.
“You take the chair. We’ll sit on the bed. We don’t want to crowd you and you need to be as relaxed as possible.” Colm gestured to the wooden chair in the corner.
She looked at it. It wasn’t going to be the most comfortable seat, but it would keep her from feeling confined if she could sit across from them. It was also better than her sitting and them looming over her. Much better. Their consideration and willingness to compromise surprised her a bit, even though for the most part they’d given her space on this journey.
Walking over, she settled on the seat and stretched her legs out in front of her. She couldn’t pretend to be relaxed. There was no way she could hook even one leg on the stool. It would help her appear calm, but she knew it wouldn’t last long enough to give even the appearance of casualness. She had to have freedom of movement.
She looked down at her feet and waited for them to start. She wasn’t giving them any hints about where to start the discussion. They wanted to talk and teach her more about control. They could decide which was more important.
She didn’t hold much hope that they’d put the discussion about the scene earlier off for long. First, because she wasn’t that lucky. Second, they were just too stubborn to forget about it. Not that she had a clue what they could want to discuss. They’d said it all already and she’d promised not to do it again, although the temptation was definitely there.
“We’ll get the heavy stuff out of the way first and then get on to teaching you how to control your magic.” Linc sat on the bed and his eyes lasered in on her.
She raised an eyebrow at the way he phrased it, but nodded. It sounded as if he expected more trouble from her with the discussion of what had happened earlier than with teaching her magic. She grimaced. He might be right, depending on what they decided needed to be discussed.
Neither one of them made any move to speak. She stared at them for a moment before she moved restlessly on the seat. Being the focus of both men’s gaze made her a little nervous. She felt as though she was a particularly juicy bit of prey and she didn’t enjoy the sensation. It reminded her too much of living under Laed and Kynar and the time just after she’d run from the Thent.
“What more is there to say about it and what do you think I’m going to have a problem with?” She licked her lips and hesitantly broached the subject. This sitting silently and waiting for them to make the move wasn’t helping her relax in spite of them being across the room.
“We’ll get to what you’re going to have a problem with, but first I want to know what you think you know about our type. What is our type of woman?” Linc’s eyes narrowed as he leaned forward and braced his arms on his thighs. His voice lowered and roughened.
She blinked and exhaled slowly. They hadn’t forgotten about that or decided to let it drop as she’d hoped. She really shouldn’t have expected them to ignore the comment. They were too observant and they’d been watching her closely for the last few days. That they’d put significance on that word shouldn’t be a surprise, but it was. They hadn’t immediately pounced on it. She’d taken that as a good sign. Her throat felt tight and her mouth worked for a moment without a sound coming out of it.
“Um, yes, that. I know you like small women. Most of them are very slim and…” Her voice trailed off as she searched for a word other than perfect. There was too much chance that they’d connect it to what they said to the women as they made love to them. It was bad enough feeling as though she was an intruder and seeing those things. She didn’t want them to realize exactly how intimately she’d seen them. Also if they knew, they could realize that she might be their mate because of the strength of the connection to them.
“And what?” Colm crossed one of his booted feet over his knee.
She wished she could be as relaxed and in control as they both seemed to be. “And of course, they have to be beautiful and graceful. I’m sure you had your pick at your Thent.”
Linc’s gaze narrowed on her for a moment and his jaw tightened. “That’s a good description of some of our last lovers. Where did you get it?”
She bit her lip. That was a question she hadn’t wanted to hear, but she decided to try a bluff. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Look at you. It’s obvious. Big, powerful men such as you always go for the tiny, reed-thin women who make them feel even bigger than they are.”
“Obvious? Then you should know very few men are so blind that they can’t appreciate other types of women. When we find a special woman, type has no meaning. Only finding a way to get that woman’s attention does.” Colm tilted his head and his eyes trailed significantly down her body.
“Yes, and some women can’t seem to see what’s right in front of them. Things have to be explained explicitly to them.” Linc’s voice lowered in a rumbling warning. “If we didn’t know for certain that you had problems with being crowded, we’d be holding you between us as we did this. I’d love to stroke my hands over your curves.”
Cami shook her head. A special woman. He couldn’t mean what her mind automatically jumped to insert in place of that. To a shifter male, there wasn’t a woman as special as their mate. They shouldn’t have any clue what she was to them without being able to smell her scent. She’d been careful to wear the lotion to prevent that.
“We’re drawn to you, Cami, and you came to us. I don’t think whatever led you to us was simply random. You were sent to us because you are meant to be here. I also believe you know a lot more about us than you’re willing to admit right now.” Linc’s eyes smoldered as he watched her.
“I ask myself why whatever power you have would give you more information about us than where you’d find us and that we could help you. I come up with some very interesting answers.” Colm’s voice drew her attention to him. “It only reinforces the need to get closer to you.”
“It’s only proximity and the fact that there’s not very many of your type of women here. Maybe it’s also a little of the mystery, because I won’t tell you everything you think you need to know.” She tried to hide the panic inside her and fought the urge to run out of the room. They weren’t threatening her life, just her peace of mind. She could handle this, but right now, she had no idea how to do that.
“We’re not going to ignore the attraction to you. We’re not going to let you do it either. We’ll try to take it slowly since we know you have some fears of men, and men in power specifically. With time, hopefully, you’ll see that you can trust us and will drop the methods you’re hiding behind.” Colm eyes locked with hers and she could see the determination practically burning there.
“And what are you going to do if I don’t?” Her mouth felt dry as desert sand, but she had to ask.
“We’re giving you time, but we won’t wait years for you to reveal yourself. If you don’t do it, we will. We want to be as gentle and considerate of your fears as possible, but we can’t give you more than this. We want to hold and touch you. We don’t want you to look at us with fear or panic if we hold you between us. We’ll want to do that.” Linc smiled. “We’ll try to remember to approach you one on one for now.”
“I don’t want—” Cami began, only to be cut short by Colm. They seemed so confident and determined. She felt pushed into a corner. How could they seem so unaware that they were ripping everything away from her?
“We’ve seen the interest in your eyes and smelled your arousal, even if it is tinged with some other strange scent. We might not be able to tell if you’re our mate, but we know you want us. Don’t try to deny that. Forcing you to acknowledge that doesn’t go along with our plans.” Colm glared.
She knew they could do it too. It wouldn’t take more than a kiss. Her body came alive around them, although she had no idea why. They were all wrong for her. It was bad enough that they were part of a Thent, but those two led it.
“Don’t panic right now, Cami. As we said, we’re not going to rush you. Let’s move onto the lesson and you can worry about what’s going to happen later.” Linc raised his hands as if he could see that she was about to start arguing or denying everything they said.
“What are we doing tonight? More breathing and relaxation methods similar to the other times?” She took a deep breath and focused on the lesson. It would get them out of the room. Then she could think and panic until she came up with another plan to keep them at a distance, because something had gone wrong with the first one.
She didn’t know how they’d come to their conclusions. Their chatar hadn’t told them anything. From what she’d seen, he was more of the hint and let them figure it out type of person. There wouldn’t be any guessing or uncertainty if he told them even a little of what he knew about her.
“A little more of the relaxation and control methods and a way for you to actually get rid of some power, even if it is a little unconventional.” Linc rose from the bed to stand, but he didn’t make any move to come closer to her. “Start with the breathing and focus inward.”
She got as comfortable as she could on the hard chair and took a deep breath before she closed her eyes. For a few moments, she concentrated only on her breathing and her heartbeat. She focused on slowing both rhythms until she felt almost sleepy. Then she turned her attention to the magic.
The power responded to her will, decreasing in intensity as long as she was calm and focused, but that wasn’t going to help her if she was excited or panicked or in a situation where calm wasn’t a possibility. That was when she needed the ability the most. With Linc and Colm deciding they were attracted to her, there would be times when her emotions were too high to do this.
She knew by now that they would want her to keep at it for more than a few moments before she opened her eyes and asked for feedback. She pushed the power down and then coaxed it into rising before repeating the process.
When she thought she’d gone on long enough, she finally opened her eyes and met the gazes of the two men watching her. The intensity in their eyes threw her a little. That wasn’t the way a teacher looked at a student. Normally, she didn’t mind them watching her, but the look in their eyes was far from the detached watchfulness she’d come to expect.
“Is that enough for tonight before we move on to what you’re going to teach me. And why is it unconventional?” She stretched her legs out in front of her. She wanted to get up and start walking around, but didn’t want to delay whatever lesson they were going to try.
“Yes, if you practice that at least two times a day, you’ll be able to get more control even when you’re not as calm as you are now.” Linc nodded. “This is going to be a little different for you and one or both of us are going to have to be near you, although any of the Santir warriors here would work. For now, only one of us will approach you. Do you have any preference which one of us approaches you?”
She blinked. That was definitely a different approach than they’d used with any other lesson. Were they just trying to get her to let her defenses down and trust them or did they really need to be close to her? She thought about that for only the space of a few breaths before she realized that they wouldn’t lie or try anything such as that during her lessons.
As to which of them came close to her, that didn’t really matter. Colm was the more intense of them, but both men drew her. Regardless, she’d have to keep her focus on the lesson and not the muscled man near her. If her attention strayed even a little, she’d reveal just how right they were.
“No, I don’t have a preference. Either one of you will do, but I still don’t know what you want me to do. Or why it wouldn’t be something that would normally be done.” She looked from one man to the other. She wasn’t fond of the mystery or the way they seemed to be ignoring her question about why it was so unusual. They couldn’t throw something that interesting out there and expect her not to wonder about why it wasn’t done.
They looked at each other and then Linc slowly rose to his feet. He walked over to her and stood in front of her. She watched him warily. His hand lifted and brushed lightly over her arm.
“Stand up. I don’t want you frightened or to feel that I’m looming over you while we do this. It’s not going to be possible if you can’t concentrate on anything except your fear.” He slowly drew her to her feet.
She stood and swallowed. She wasn’t frightened of him standing so close to her. Her fingers tingled as her eyes lingered on the breadth of his chest, the muscles in his arms and thighs. Would his skin be as warm as she’d dreamed? She wanted to touch him, but she knew she’d better keep her hands to herself. It wouldn’t stop at one touch. She’d want more.
“This is a little unusual because a warrior wouldn’t use it. Normally, women don’t need it. Their power level is relatively stable after they reach adulthood and they’re taught from an early age to use and control their power. You know almost nothing of your natural magic. The additional magic from the crystal doesn’t make things easier. I don’t know all of your history, but Avan said that very few women were taught anything about magic. The men didn’t get much more training and none after Laed and Kynar took over.” Linc’s eyes were solemn and watchful.
She couldn’t deny that. Her mother had been forced out of Cami’s father’s Thent while Cami was still very young. All Cami remembered was it had happened sometime after her father had died. Her mother had only said that they weren’t welcome there anymore. Cami had gotten the feeling it had something to do with her father’s family.
Her mother hadn’t been born Santir. She’d been turned and didn’t know magic. So much had been hidden and Cami didn’t know why. Her brothers had gone looking for their father’s family shortly after they’d found shelter in Scali Thent, but she hadn’t seen any of them since. Her mother hadn’t ever explained why when she’d asked. Of course, Laed and Kynar hadn’t cared enough to send anyone after them when they were long overdue for return.
“What do I need to do? I want to know how to handle this thing, and until I can control it myself, I do need help.” She took a deep breath. While she may wish she could control the power inside of her, it was too dangerous to take chances simply because of her fear of discovery.
“I want you to push the power inside you higher. You’ve learned how to lessen it. You can make it stronger. It’s the same principle. Focus, will and intent.” Linc stood in front of her.
“And what do I do when I get it higher?” She licked her lips. That definitely wasn’t something she’d even thought of too much outside of the control exercises.
“You push it through your body to your hand. You’re going to let it flow out of you there. When you’re ready, take my hand. We can’t absorb it, but we can use it and get rid of it for you. You see why no warrior would do it. He wouldn’t give power to someone else that they might be able to use against him. I’d trust Colm in that way, but not many others.” Linc looked back at the large man sitting on the bed.
She saw the closeness and trust in that shared look. Intellectually, she’d known their relationship was more than friendship, but seeing that look, she knew that these two had an unbreakable bond. A woman would have to fight to make a place with them and be willing to accept that she might never have as close a tie to either one of them as they had with each other. She’d never thought about it from that angle. It was yet another reason to keep them at a distance.
“Yes, I can see that a man wouldn’t want to give someone a weapon. I’m not so comfortable with it myself, but until I can handle this power on my own, I know I’ll need some help.” She sighed. “We should probably get started.”
“Take as much time as you need.” Colm remained unmoving on the bed, but she knew he was watching everything.
She didn’t want to take any more time than was necessary. Focusing inward again, she tried to prod the magic higher, but it didn’t come easily. She knew she should be able to make the magic rise at will, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to make it higher when all it had ever caused was trouble.
She closed her eyes and blocked out everything except the magic and making it respond to her will. It rose slowly. She forced away the doubts about how she was going to control it or direct it as they wanted. This was her power. She could control it. Finally, it rose to a sufficient level and she began trying to direct to her palm.
It wasn’t as easy as he’d made it sound. The magic flowed, but it moved all through her body and not simply to her arm. If it was this hard now, when the power wasn’t pushing at her and fear that it would escape her grasp wasn’t tearing through her mind, how was she supposed to do it when it was? Clenching her teeth together, she pushed away the doubts. Finally, the power began to flow down her arm and into her hand. She could feel her skin warming. Reaching out, she took his hand.
“Now, just let it flow out of you.” Linc’s fingers tightened around hers.
She tried, but couldn’t get it to release. She licked her lips and tried to force it out of her. Nothing. She frowned and tried again. The longer she couldn’t get it to respond as she wanted, the more frustrated she became. Linc’s hand tightened on hers, drawing her attention to him.
“Take a few deep breaths and relax. You’re trying too hard. On top of that, you’ve been so worried about keeping the magic from getting out that it’s become a habit to keep a tight grip on it. You have to relax and let the energy flow. As we teach you, you are actually going to be using it, so this is something you’re going to have to learn to do.” His free hand came up and brushed her hair off the side of her face.
“Your magic isn’t bad. It’s just a little out of control now. Trust us to help you with this. Close your eyes and let the magic move out of you.” Colm’s voice was calm and rolled over her.
She flicked a glance over at him. His black hair hung loose around his shoulders. She wanted to run her fingers through it to see if it was as soft as it looked. It gleamed and tempted her to get closer to him. She bit her lips nervously and nodded. Closing her eyes, she tried to focus only on her breathing for a time. Maybe he was right and she needed to relax.
It didn’t come easily. She had to deliberately blank out every thought and focus only on pulling in the next breath and exhaling. She didn’t think about Colm or the fact that Linc still held her hand.
The tension began leaving her body. When she thought she was relaxed enough, she opened her eyes and pushed the power out of her body. Her hand became almost uncomfortably hot. She looked down and saw a purple haze blossom between her palm and his.
Linc raised his hand and a shower of white and purple petals fell from the ceiling. Her mouth hung open and she gawked as the colorful rain continued. A sweet scent swirled around the room and she inhaled greedily. It reminded her of one of her favorite spots on Taubus. She hadn’t thought of it since before she’d fled the dubious safety of Scali Thent.
Maybe she’d been afraid that the memories of what had been done to her had tainted the beauty, but it hadn’t. Right now, thinking of that place, all she could remember about it were the lush flowers and reeds lining the bank of the small, clear pool and the slight chill of the water as she waded slowly into it. The blossoms’ heavy scent had perfumed the air. Sometimes even heavier than the scent around her now.
“I only did it this way to show you that magic was being used. Most of the time, it won’t be obvious. Depending on how much time we have to prepare for the discharge and the conditions, we’ll probably simply discharge the power in a way no one could get hurt by it. Nothing created, nothing destroyed.” Linc released her hand.
“Thank you. I probably would have wondered if you were trying simply to reassure me or give me a little confidence if I hadn’t seen something,” she admitted with a small smile.
“We wouldn’t lie to you about this. You have to know we won’t lie to you about this if you’re going to be able to trust us enough to come to us with a problem.” Colm stood. “Now, I’m going to walk over there because the lesson’s over and it’s time for us to leave you to your rest.”
She didn’t understand why he had to come over here since the lesson was over, but his approach didn’t panic her. He walked over and stood beside Linc and looked at her for a moment. It wasn’t the predatory appraisal of earlier. This was softer. It almost seemed as if he was trying to discover what she was thinking and feeling just by watching her.
“The lesson tonight has relieved a few of my worries, and in spite of the fact that I really didn’t want to do it, I needed this.” She looked from one to the other expecting one of them to say good night or goodbye.
“That’s good. You’ve been worrying too much.” Colm brushed his fingers along her jaw. “I’d kiss you, but it would probably send you running. I will do it soon, though. I want you to think about that and try to see past whatever fears are holding you back from what you want, because we know what we want.”
Cami stared at him wide-eyed. Her skin seemed hypersensitive. That simple touch radiated over her body. Such a light touch shouldn’t have that effect. She licked her lips, unsure of what to say or how to respond. The man was too confident and she felt lost.
“Good night, Cami. We’ll see you in the morning.” Linc’s fingers touched her hand again and then he turned and went to the door.
Colm’s eyes ran over her face for a long moment before he followed. She trailed after him and locked the door. She needed to rest, but with everything they’d said tonight, she was fairly sure she wouldn’t get much sleep.