chapter Twenty-Three
Cami strolled along beside Tyson as he led her out of the walls. She’d met the man when Colm and Linc had finally introduced her to Tori. The large, black-haired man oozed assurance and confidence.
From what little she’d seen of him, he was an easy-going, relaxed man, but she had seen the passion and emotion in his eyes when he looked at Tori. The open emotion made her a little envious. The only thing she was sure about with those two was that they were possessive. Well, and that they wanted her. Nothing too deep.
She expected him to stop not too far from the gates. As far as she knew, they would be staying very close to the walls until Laed and Kynar were caught. Any kind of exercise and freedom thrilled her. The sun felt good as it rained down on her in a soft, warm caress. She’d enjoy just finding some place to sit down and let the sun and wind brush over her.
She looked around the area as Tyson turned, leading her toward a group of women gathered on the grass. They seemed to be simply talking and standing together, but they could be waiting for the men to bring something to them. There were more than a few men in the area.
“Don’t worry. You’re safe.” Tyson’s voice cut into her thoughts and she realized he must have noticed she was a little concerned.
“I wasn’t worried about safety. It just seemed a little strange to pass the gates when we don’t know if Laed and Kynar are anywhere in the area. I expected to walk around within the walls.” She looked over at him and smiled.
“The Ardin know that you were feeling a little caged after what recently happened and the days spent mostly inside.” Tyson slowed as they neared the women.
When she noticed that the women gathered there were all married women, she realized that they’d done more than notice she was a little tense. “They arranged this?”
While it sounded close to a question, she was almost certain of the answer. It was all too much to be a coincidence. The extra men lingering outside the walls was one thing, but the women being there too with nothing to do was another. She didn’t know how this Thent operated, but completely free days were rare. There was always something that needed to be done. If not in the Thent itself, in the home or simply preparation for the next day or coming months.
“Yes, I believe they said something about letting you see that not everyone wanted to be their Lady.” Tyson tossed a grin at her as he stopped near the women.
More possible, they wanted to show her there were women they hadn’t slept with in their Thent. She kept the remark firmly locked behind her lips. Normally, she’d simply have said it, but she had doubts about the truth of it even moments after thinking it. They’d been considerate of her almost since the day they met her.
“Add to that the fact that they want her to see that there are women here who don’t automatically hate her because she’s their mate,” one of the women offered with a laugh. “What you don’t realize, because you weren’t here, is that they’ve been doing a lot of the same things they did to you to each other to try to get the other women to back out of the picture.”
“Well, you’ve met me, but let me introduce you to Trisha, Gennie, Vikki and Kala.” Tori smiled and gestured, first to the blonde who’d just spoken and then to each of the women in turn.
“That almost makes it worse. Those women should have seen how that felt and Linc and Colm should have put a stop to it before I arrived. Did they attack each other as they’ve attacked me?” She tilted her head. Colm and Linc didn’t seem to be the type of leaders to let that continue. It wasn’t just the danger of one of the women being hurt. From what she’d seen, Colm and Linc wouldn’t let it go on after they discovered it.
“They knew that the women were having problems, but didn’t know it was about them. The women all put it down to personal differences. They were smart enough to realize that was one of the quickest ways of losing any chance at the Ardin. Also, some of it happened while Colm and Linc weren’t here.” Vikki, a petite dark-haired woman brushed a stray strand of hair away from her eyes.
Learning about the turmoil caused by the search through the members of his Thent might have made Colm see earlier that it wasn’t a good idea, but he’d missed it. Not that surprising if the real reasons for the fights never got beyond the women. The married women wouldn’t have said anything because there was no way to prove it. The single women could simply deny it.
“They’re a little more intense with you, because you’re the only actual threat they’ve faced. I think deep down they knew there was little chance of a bonding ceremony happening.” Gennie grimaced. The redhead smoothed her hands over her rounded belly in a slow, stroking motion.
Maybe so deep that they didn’t even know about it. Cami wasn’t so certain. She looked from one woman to the the other feeling a little confused. She’d only seen the possessive, vengeful side of the single women and to a lesser extent their friends.
“I bet it stung their pride to find out the Ardin were doing the chasing this time.” Trisha raised her brows and smiled.
Now that she really didn’t understand and couldn’t let pass without questioning. She’d never thought of those two as passive. They certainly weren’t that way with her. They wouldn’t let the woman do the choosing then, any more than they would now.
“What do you mean the chasing? From what I know, the women didn’t come up to Colm and say ‘you’re mine tonight’. In fact, that would make him a little more resistant in most cases.” She had to pause at the last of that to keep from laughing at the very idea.
He would do the asking or telling. However he’d done it. That was one thing she was glad she didn’t know. She didn’t want to see how they’d convinced the women to come to their bed or what had been said. The fact that Colm had been sifting through his Thent’s women for a mate still infuriated her and had even before she knew what trouble they’d cause her.
“She doesn’t mean chasing as in the women were that bold. No, they’d make excuses to be near them and subtly let them know they were available if they wanted. If you’re wondering how the single women became so possessive, we’re not entirely sure other than the initial shown interest. Colm never showed any partiality to any one woman and Linc was often more than a little disinterested.” Tori smiled and reached out to grasp her hand.
The gesture was reassuring. Cami returned the smile. “I don’t know what held him back, but I’m glad. I might be the one causing some trouble if I’d found them mated to someone else. In spite of my uncertainties, the pull to get to know them or simply touch them was always there.”
“It’s been good to see them really interested in a woman and not the calculated approach they used before. Colm might have been searching among the ladies here, but he’s going to hold onto you tightly. I think he’d give you more trouble than Linc if you weren’t ready for the mating.” Vikki, a petitie brunette with arresting features tilted her head as if she was giving it more thought.
“No doubt. It’s as if the gods decided to show him what he was trying to avoid and simply to teach him a lesson, threw in your reluctance. Now he’s waiting to pounce.” Gennie laughed softly. Cami could tell by the way the woman smiled that she found the idea a little funny.
“Where’s the need to pounce? I’ve publicly claimed them. They’re probably already moving my things into their room.” She frowned at the pregnant woman almost directly across from her. The woman had a strange sense of humor, but Cami understood the sentiment.
“You’re not fully claimed yet and their instincts will keep pushing them to do it. They’d want everyone to know and you wouldn’t be wearing a shirt that covers so much of your shoulders if it had happened. Since you still don’t smell like a normal Santir, I’m betting they can’t do it. Until that happens, the stress and uncertainty will rise. Whenever they can smell you clearly enough to claim you, they’ll pounce. I’ll bet Colm tracks you down first, unless Linc is right beside you.” Kala raised her brows and a wicked grin tilted her lips.
Cami frowned at the short, curvy woman. She sounded much too cheerful when she said that. The image alone sent her heartbeat racing. A tiny frisson of fear trickled through her, but only because of the permanence of the mating once fully formed. As much as she wanted them, there was still a small part of her that wondered if they really wanted her that much. Maybe they only wanted her because she had tried to deny the connection to them.
Along with the uncertainty and doubt, a delicious thrill of anticipation coursed through her body. She wanted that intensity from them. She shivered and heated cream eased from her as excitement built. If she kept thinking this way, she might have to go up to her room and take care of this building desire on her own.
“The mating drive will push them that way,” she acknowledged with a shrug. She firmly pushed a small bit of hope down and hid behind the facts. Letting her imagination lead her to dream could lead to unnecessary hurt.
“Don’t fool yourself that your emotions or theirs aren’t involved. They already are or you wouldn’t be so afraid.” Kala shook her head. “I know it’s not exactly the most comfortable time for you what with everything going on around you. You need to trust yourself, them and the mating. They wouldn’t cause you pain deliberately, would they?”
Cami sighed, knowing where this was going. Straight to an admission she didn’t know if she was ready to make. No, they wouldn’t deliberately try to cause her pain. That didn’t mean it wouldn’t happen.
Tyson cleared his throat. “The Ardin don’t want you outside the walls too long. I thought you might want to walk around the area a little more before we go back inside.”
She looked over her shoulder and smiled, a little grateful for the interruption. “I do want to move around a little more. If I’m kept caged inside the Thent for too much longer, I might try climbing the walls for a little fresh air.”
Tyson laughed. “I think the Ardin would object to that.”
She nodded. “I’m sure they would.”
Tori walked over and took her hands. “I think most of the women will back off after today, but don’t count on all of them going away without another example of your resolve.”
“Maybe I’ll go ask the healer what’s good for sore knuckles.” She’d already guessed that. Overall, it didn’t worry her. She’d deal with a few more last ditch attempts as long as they didn’t go for her back again. Then, if she was mad enough, she really would gut them.
“Don’t hold back because you’re afraid to be hurt. Make sure they know you want them as a mate as much as you want the sex. They might not know it.” Tori’s voice lowered to a whisper. “They’re yours as much as you’re theirs.”
The way she said that struck Cami, but before she could think about it, Tyson nudged her away from the women. She walked with him down the road. As they got farther away from the Thent, unease crept through her. They’re here.
She took a deep breath and pushed the nagging thought away and ignored the apprehension. Laed and Kynar hadn’t been spotted. She was overreacting to the stress. It had been too long since she’d been outside of the Thent. As much as being inside those walls irritated her at times, it could be reassuring to have that barrier to the threats surrounding her.
“They’re not going to decide it’s a mistake. If they’re certain enough to put you into the position of their Lady, they’re not going to change their mind. They’ll hold on even if you try to pull away,” Tyson said.
His low voice startled her from her thoughts. She wished she could be as certain as he sounded, but the fact that Colm hadn’t wanted a mate kept popping into her head. It had made her wary from the first, but now it kept her torn between the piercing desire to get closer to them and doubt. Sometimes she wished she’d never seen that part of their lives.
“I know.” She did know that they would want to keep their mate. Was it wrong to want more than the biological bond? Not that she could ask him that. Just from his responses so far, she knew he’d be firmly on Linc and Colm’s side. She gestured to where a field was being cleared of grass and brush. “What’s going to be there?”
“Grain first, I think. The area next to it is a small orchard.” Tyson frowned as he stared at the area.
The nervousness grew with every step they took away from the castle and the men working there. Someone was going to die if they went too near the forest. The thought startled her and her mouth dried on a rush of fear. She looked at the man beside her.
Her imagination was running away with her. She tried to tell herself that, but the feeling of dread rising up in her only built. Her eyes searched the trees beyond the field. She couldn’t see any sign of movement or anything that looked vaguely similar to a person.
“Is something wrong?” Tyson stopped walking.
“Yes, something’s wrong. We should go back now.” She didn’t want to start off sounding crazy. Most of them might know that she had magic and some rather strange abilities, but she didn’t think everyone knew exactly what those were. He might not believe her.
Tyson frowned. “Are you still nervous? Being out in the open this way can’t be easy after what you’ve been through, but you’re safe. The Ardin would never have allowed you outside the walls unless they were certain of it.”
Cami swallowed heavily fighting the urge to head back into the Thent at a fast walk. What’s wrong with me? The day was beautiful. There was no sign of any danger, but the dread and worry built inside her. Her skin prickled with unease and her stomach clenched as the feeling only intensified. The urge to shift or at least partially change to better protect herself thrummed inside of her.
“I know they wouldn’t let me outside the walls if they knew of any danger to me.” She wrung her hands together. The problem was they weren’t facing an army here. It was just two men. Two men could hide in an area undetected for months if they were careful.
“You think there’s danger here? One of the false Ardin? Have you seen something?” Tyson’s hand covered the pommel of his sword.
“No, I haven’t seen anything.” It burned to admit that, but she wasn’t going to lie. As intense as the feelings were, she wasn’t sure yet if it was simple anxiety or if this was the same as one of the dreams she’d had. The only problem was she hadn’t seen any images or scenes as she did with those and she definitely wasn’t asleep.
“Why don’t you take a few deep breaths and try to relax. I know you have reason to be nervous of them. Push all thoughts of those two men out of your head and focus only on today. Don’t let them ruin these moments of freedom.” Tyson looked down at her and waited.
She took a deep breath. It helped calm her racing heart a little, but the feeling persisted. His words seemed to resonate in her head. If this was simple fear, she couldn’t let it control her. She didn’t know if it was more, but she’d need more than just vague feelings before she would let it turn her back.
“I’m ready to walk on now.” She smiled at Tyson, but her gut was still tight with the fear and her mouth felt as dry as a desert. She’d managed to push past the emotion and instinct, but it still clamored inside her. For now, she’d try her best to enjoy the walk. She wasn’t letting the fear rule her. At least, she’d try.
They moved along the road. Although she tried to focus on relaxing, the anxiety thrummed through her with every step. It became hard to concentrate on anything aside from the rising urgency of the feelings. Light flashed in front of her eyes. She stopped and turned her head, looking around the area. Maybe it was a bird. The thought had no sooner crossed her mind than images slammed into her head.
A hand clenched around a knife. Kynar’s face swam before her eyes, his mouth twisted into a sneer. Blood running over the grass and dirt, pooling beside a still hand.
Feelings rushed through her and she didn’t know where they were all coming from. She didn’t know anything except that some of them weren’t hers. Hatred and anger battered at her as fear and guilt swelled. Her stomach lurched and she gagged. One hand flew to her mouth and the other rubbed at her temple as the horizon tilted crazily in front of her. Her knees felt weak and wobbly, but she managed to stay on her feet.
“What’s wrong?” Tyson’s hand gently touched her shoulder, drawing her attention.
She looked at his arm. That had been his hand she’d seen on the ground with blood pooling near it. She’d thought she needed more than the feelings as proof and she’d gotten it. Her stomach clenched and churned again. If they went any closer to the forest, he was going to be hurt.
“We’re going back to the Thent now.” She exhaled a shuddering breath. No more denying the urging of her instincts. Even if someone only got hurt, she wouldn’t take that risk. The guilt would eat at her, knowing she could have stopped it from happening.
“Are you hurt or sick? You’re a little pale.” Tyson frowned and his head tilted to the side.
“I’m fine. We’re heading back now. I’ve come far enough.” She straightened and tried to breathe through the clench and heave of her stomach.
“Do you need some time? Because if you want, we can simply stay here and talk until you feel more relaxed.” Tyson looked at her patiently.
She drew in another breath and closed her eyes. He must think she was letting her fear rule her again. She was afraid, but she knew it was more than her emotions. They were there and waiting. She wasn’t going to give them the chance to hurt anyone today.
“I don’t need time. I want to go back now.” She kept her voice even and firm. She wasn’t changing her mind. Any wavering might make him think she was unsure. She turned back to the Thent.
“There are plenty of men out here to protect you even if those men are close,” Tyson offered gently.
She shook her head firmly. “It’s not about the number of men around to protect me. I know they’re here. I can almost feel their hatred right now. If we go any closer to the forest right now, someone’s going to get hurt. I know this as much as I do that you’re standing right beside me.”
He looked back at the forest and then back to her. She could tell that he didn’t fully believe her, but at the moment all that mattered was getting back to the fortress. “If you’re certain, we’ll head back and tell the Ardin.”
“Good.” She smiled at him, glad to have his agreement finally. He’d seemed determined to give her as much time outside the walls as possible. Nice thought, but right now, being outside the Thent seemed worse than being stuck inside.
Not that she expected the talk with those two to go much better than this one had. She had been afraid. They might simply think that she’d let her imagination take control. They didn’t believe what she dreamed without proof. Since this had happened while she was awake, that might make what she said even more difficult to accept.
She didn’t care if they were convinced of it. They needed to know about it. She didn’t think Laed and Kynar would wait very long to make some kind of move. Colm and Linc should be prepared for anything. Kynar and Laed had no honor.
They walked back in silence. She didn’t know how she was supposed to make them understand that what she’d seen was true and not a rush of panicked thoughts, images and feelings. The short stroll back to the gate seemed to take no time at all. Now that she was back in the walls, the fear faded and worry began to build. Would they take her concerns seriously? She could only try. The rest was their decision.