chapter Nineteen
Cami still felt a little stunned even after a night to sleep and think about things. She headed for the stairs. Gods, she needed to get outside. It had been a long day already and she’d just finished the midday meal. She hadn’t expected Colm and Linc to push her into that kind of position when they’d seemed prepared to wait for her to take the next step for so long. Things had changed. Colm and Linc had taken their pursuit public and were in full hunt.
Shaking her head, she focused on what she needed. Sturdy shoes, because the slippers on her feet wouldn’t do even for a sojourn within the walls of the Thent. The tan skirt could stay. She didn’t expect to get to go outside of the defense walls, but even the thought of feeling the sun on her face was enough to lighten her mood from the heavy thoughts and anxiety that had plagued her since she’d woken.
It didn’t help that she couldn’t stop thinking of last night. Colm and Linc hadn’t pressed beyond asking if she’d sleep with them, but she knew they were impatient to tug her fully into their lives. The little touches on the way up the stairs last night definitely had her thinking of them and sex. Small brushes of fingers over her arm or down her back sent sparks sizzling over her skin. It hadn’t been easy to say no when she wanted those touches all over her body without clothes getting in the way.
Today, she hadn’t done more than walk through the main building yet, but she could already tell there was a distinct change in the way people viewed her. She felt a growl building low in her throat. There was a respect in the gazes of most of the men now.
Not that there had ever been any disrespect. It was simply that they saw her as Linc and Colm’s Lady now. It was a higher position than guest or even member of the Thent. She shook her head. It wasn’t so much the men that irritated her though. They wouldn’t cause her trouble.
It was the females. So far she’d only seen a few women. They had looked at her with a little confusion as if they didn’t understand the sudden change. She expected to be confronted with more than that.
She’d received some icy stares from a few women before Linc and Colm had decided to take this step. Those women wouldn’t be merely stunned. She knew that their reactions could be much worse than the confrontations she’d had before. The women who’d confronted her before had been a little angry at her sudden appearance in Linc and Colm’s life, but after the initial confrontation, had seemed to move on to other things. Cami expected anger had been simmering in one or two women. It was going to explode now.
Today, one woman in particular glared at her. As long as she kept it to mere stares, Cami didn’t care about that. Judging by the intense anger in that gaze, Cami suspected that the woman wouldn’t be content to hate her from afar. She didn’t think she’d have long to wait either.
In one of life’s unfair twists, she was going to have deal with it. The men who caused this entire mess wouldn’t have to deal with anything except the aftermath. Well, and her anger, because if there was more drama with the women, she was going to be pissed.
She shook her head. Just as she turned to start up the stairs, someone barreled into her, shoving her against the wall. The force was too great and the impact too direct to be anything other than intentional. The impact into the wall stunned Cami, but it also knocked the woman back a step.
Claws sprang from the tips of her fingers and her teeth lengthened at the unexpected attack. Even though she’d expected something to happen, she hadn’t thought anyone would attack her this way. Cami spun in the small space available. When hands tried to grab for her, she dug the sharp tips of her nails into the slender forearms.
The black-haired woman yowled as Cami’s claws sunk deep. The woman jumped back. Cami slipped out of the corner and put a little distance between them. Cami eyed the petite female with distaste. She recognized her as the one who’d glared at her from across the room earlier.
Cowardly bitch. Cami didn’t linger too long in thoughts of the attack from the back. Her eyes narrowed. The woman wanted to make things physical, Cami would definitely oblige her.
“Well, you’ve got my attention now and you’re going to pay for it.” Cami’s lips pulled back in a snarl. She wasn’t going to back away and try to talk this woman out of any further violence. This type of woman would only see it as weakness.
The woman growled and if she’d been in tiron form, her hackles would have raised. “You don’t belong here.”
Cami shook her head at the woman’s words. She could practically hear the burning jealousy there. “Funny. I didn’t know you had any say in that.”
Shock and fury flashed over the woman’s face. She jumped forward with a scream of rage. Her fingers flexed as if to slash and claw at Cami. Cami moved out of the way. Her hand caught the woman’s shoulder, propelling her into the opposite wall. Since she didn’t have a good grip on the woman’s arm, she backed away and waited. She didn’t hold out much hope that her opponent would see that this was stupid.
Cami was a little surprised at the woman’s quick reaction. She hadn’t expected one comment to make her lose control, but was astounded that she didn’t feel more fear. Even though she’d known she was slowly recovering from the attack, she’d thought that a situation such as this might give her trouble. Maybe it was the fact that she was facing a woman. All she felt was determination and a slow, building anger over the woman’s initial attack. What did astound her was that men weren’t here already in response to the scream.
“What’s the matter? Can’t decide what to do now that your craven sneak attack failed?” Cami didn’t try to hold back the disdain in her voice or expression.
The woman swung her claws at Cami’s face. Cami jumped back from the swipe, but immediately glided forward and sliced a punch up toward the woman’s jaw. The blow glanced off the woman’s jaw as the black-haired woman instinctively flinched back. She saw a little surprise in the other female’s eyes.
“I’m not so easily intimidated.” Cami shook her head, but never took her eyes off the woman. She knew she couldn’t afford to let her guard down a moment.
“I’m going to make you afraid. I’ll hurt you and keep doing it until you leave this Thent. They’re mine,” the woman snarled.
“Yours?” Cami shook her head and bit off a laugh. “I doubt you were even under consideration. I dreamed of them with more than a few of the women in this Thent, some more than one time. I never saw you. I didn’t even know they touched you.”
“They want me now!” The woman rushed at Cami.
Cami twisted out of the way of the furious woman. She grabbed the petite woman’s shoulder and then slammed her head into the wall before she could spin around to come at her again. She was getting tired of dealing with Colm and Linc’s angry past lovers.
“More and more I begin to doubt their level of intelligence and taste when it comes to women.” She shook her head and then stripped off the woman’s belt to tie her hands. She didn’t know what she was going to do with the woman, but leaving the other female’s hands free for another attack seemed careless.
“I’ll take her,” a male voice announced.
Cami jumped. Where did he come from? He certainly hadn’t been there more than a moment or two.
“I just got past the women in the hall set to distract us.” He smiled and stepped forward when she backed away from the woman sprawled on the floor near the base of the stairs. “The Ardin will probably be inside shortly.”
The question must have been plain to see on her face, because she knew she hadn’t said that out loud. As for the Ardin, she was angry enough right now to try to disappear on them. However, if she did that, she wouldn’t get to yell at them. Right now she really wanted to yell at them.
“No questions about what happened?” She raised a brow. It didn’t seem right that he just walked into the middle of this and calmly took the other woman without hearing either side of the story.
“I heard enough even before getting past the other women to know she wanted to hurt you. The sound carries rather well along these hallways. On top of that, you couldn’t have gotten those women to run interference.” He nodded and hauled the woman to her feet.
“I’m going to my room. If they get here before I get back, that’s where I’ll be.” She started up the stairs. She was going to need a few minutes to calm down. Not only because of the power flowing through her, but because she didn’t want to lose control and go at those two men. She had to admit he was right about the other women. She hadn’t made many friends here yet. Most of the females here only tolerated her.
When she closed the door to her room behind her, she began pacing. Shivers raced over her body. Anger boiled through her. She whipped around and stalked back to the other end of the room. Colm and Linc were responsible for part of this and she heaped a lot of the blame their way, but she knew it wasn’t only them.
The women in this damn Thent played a part and so did she. The women were trying to grab onto something safe and known as well as the power of being their Lady. Cami stopped and clenched her fists. In a way, she was taking the easy way the same as them.
She was so afraid to take the chance that Linc and Colm would turn away from her at some point that she’d been trying to hide from the truth. In doing so, she almost encouraged this. She hadn’t acknowledged their claim on her or hers on them, even verbally. She growled and scowled over at her bag. She had the almost insane desire to dig the bottles out and throw them at the wall.
She wasn’t sure about the future. Even with her growing abilities and those dreams, she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to stay here. It was time to stop cowering in a corner. If nothing else, the last few days had shown her that. She was strong and she was a survivor. If she had to leave, she’d do it if they’d claimed her or not. She knew they’d chase her regardless. She’d keep the bottles, just in case she couldn’t stay. It might help her gain a little distance on them.
The decision was almost a relief. While she brushed her hair and straightened her clothes, she thought about what she was going to do. Is it really such a great idea? Was her anger leading her to take a step that she’d regret later? She exhaled slowly as she thought about it. It might not be the smartest idea she’d ever had, but the time to hide from the truth had passed.
Colm and Linc knew that she was their mate. She’d never be able to convince them otherwise. And the women of this Thent weren’t taking the hint from Colm and Linc’s behavior. She was really tired of dealing with drama from their past relationships. In that sense, doing this could only be helpful and not hurt much at all.
The most stubborn of the women might still be a problem. At least they’d know for certain that Linc and Colm weren’t free. She might regret it in some ways. Colm and Linc were sure to think of this as some sort of surrender. That gave her a few qualms, even though it wasn’t how she saw the decision.
She nodded and turned to leave the room. Time to do this before she managed to talk herself out of it. No more hiding behind her fear or waiting to see what was going to happen.
She headed down the hallway, but stopped at the top of the stairs as she saw Linc and Colm mounting the steps. Each man wore a fierce, determined look. Both men looked even more intimidating than normal, since both of them wore stark black from shoulder to toes. She didn’t know why they were in a bad mood. They hadn’t been attacked.
“Are you all right?” Linc walked up the last of the steps and curved his arm around her waist.
She leaned into him briefly. “I was attacked from behind, Linc. What I am is tired of this. I want to talk to the other women now.”
“We’ll take care of it.” Colm hadn’t moved from where he stood on the steps.
“No, we tried your way, if you’ll remember. The blatant demonstration didn’t work with these women. They won’t believe anything you say and they’ll come at me again.” She took a deep breath and struggled to keep her voice as even as possible.
“And you think they’ll believe you.” Colm raised a brow.
“I don’t care if they believe me, but they’re going to know what’s going to happen if they attack me again.” She met Colm’s eyes and then turned her head to Linc.
She hoped they saw her determination and recognized that she’d made her decision. They always seemed so certain. She hadn’t seen any type of doubt on anything other than Colm’s doubt about wanting to search for his true mate. She still didn’t know what had held him back from it.
She knew they wanted to protect her. That hadn’t changed. She wasn’t going to let the women think she was hiding behind the Ardin’s protection. She didn’t need their strength in this instance. She did wonder how they’d react to her claim of them, but it wasn’t at the top of her worries.
Linc met her eyes. He was silent so long that she couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking. Was he going to say no and do it on his own? She knew there wouldn’t be an end to trouble that way, even if they made a blatant claim. She was almost holding her breath when he slowly nodded.
“Do you want all of the women or only the single women?” Colm leaned a shoulder against the wall. He seemed a little more relaxed than he was before.
“Only the unmated women. They’re the ones who can’t seem to see the obvious. The men haven’t had that problem. After you two decided you wanted me, the other men never even approached me.” She hadn’t thought about that at the time. She’d been too busy trying to think of a way to keep them at a distance. Now that she had, she wondered why none of them had seemed to see her as an available woman.
“Of course they didn’t. We told them that you were ours. They know that we wouldn’t tolerate that.” Colm smiled.
A shiver raced down her spine at the predatorial baring of teeth. If that’s the attitude they’d taken with their men, she could so understand no one coming near her. Too bad she couldn’t do that. It wasn’t that simple with the women. She didn’t have the intimidation factor that he had.
On top of that, they had years of the men’s behavior to influence them. From her dreams and what she could gather, Colm and Linc had f*cked and courted many of the single women in this Thent as Colm tried to find someone to fit his expectations.
“I’ll gather them together. We’ll meet you at the bottom of the steps near the entrance.” Linc nodded and the look he shot Colm was significant.
Cami would have to be blind to miss it. She knew they were probably talking through the bond they shared. Linc’s gentle hold guided her to the step where Colm waited. Linc squeezed past and then looked back over his shoulder. Colm gave a slight nod before his hand cupped her elbow. With a gentle pressure, he urged to walk with him to the hallway and down to the library where they’d met with the chatar.
Once they were inside the room, he released her. She took a few steps back, but noticed he stayed exactly where he was and simply watched her. Cami frowned. Nervousness clawed through her. Her stomach tightened into a knot and her palms became slick from sweat. She had no idea what this was about or why he’d pulled her into the room. This day had sucked so far. She didn’t know if she could handle too many more surprises.
“Are you sure about whatever you’re going to do?” Colm leaned against the door. One of his thumbs hooked onto his belt. His head cocked to one side and he appeared to be trying to judge her determination.
“Yes, why would you think I wasn’t certain?” She narrowed her eyes and straightened. Did he think that she was so weak that she couldn’t make a decision and stick to it?
“We’ve seen some impulsiveness from you. While we love it, we don’t want you to do something that you’ll regret before the night is over because you’re angry and frustrated.” He straightened and took the three steps necessary to close the distance between them. “It’s not hard to think of what you might do here, but if you remove any of the barriers between us, we’re not going to let you put them back up. I want you too much. Already it feels as if we’ve been waiting years for you.”
“This isn’t an impulse. Yes, I came to a decision, but it’s not anything I haven’t been thinking about for days and weeks. While I may have a few worries, I’m not going to change my mind. And seriously, years? You’re the one who didn’t want to have a true mate. You wanted any other woman except me.” She crossed her arms and tapped her foot. He looked concerned, but he made it sound as if she jumped from one thing to another without thought.
“I did have a reason for wanting that. I know I haven’t told you about it yet.” He came away from the door. His fingers brushed the side of her cheek as he stopped directly in front of her.
“You keep saying that, but you never get around to explaining. Now isn’t the time either. It’s not going to take much time for Linc to get everyone together.” She took a deep breath. He kept delaying and avoiding that explanation and sometimes she wondered if there was an actual reason or if he’d simply had some kind of idea of what type of woman he wanted.
“Tonight, we’ll have that talk.” Colm curved an arm around her. “Just so you know, if you do this and then regret it, I’ll turn you over my knee.”
“Go ahead and threaten. It just means that I keep my own room a lot longer. From the way you’re trying to talk me out of it, I don’t think you’re ready for the big step anyway.” She grinned at him and enjoyed the way his eyes narrowed.
“I told you, no going back. If you do this, you’ll be lucky to keep some clothes in that room.” Colm looked down at her and his arm tightened just a little.
“I’m still not sleeping on that bed.” She pulled out of his arms and glared up at him. He and Linc still didn’t seem to understand why she wouldn’t sit on that bed, even after everything they’d learned about her.
“What is it with that bed? It’s big and you’d know it’s comfortable if you’d ever touch it. You wouldn’t have to worry about being cold. Between the two of us, you’d hardly ever need a blanket.” Colm edged closer as his voice dropped to a low, sexy growl.
“That would be great if it was any other bed except that one.” She clamped her jaw closed and fought to keep from grabbing him and trying to shake some sense into him. Not that it would work. He was too big and muscled for her to move even with all of her strength.
“So if the bed was different, you’d stay with us all night?” He raised his eyebrows and a smile spread across his face.
“Yes, but I can’t believe you’re focusing on that when a few minutes ago you were trying to talk me out of doing anything.” She shook her head, but couldn’t muster up any true anger over it. She was still a little frustrated that he didn’t understand her reluctance to get into the same bed that he’d shared with nearly every woman in this Thent.
“You’ve made your decision so I’m focusing on what’s really important.” His fingers circled her wrist and he tugged her into his arms.
“Well, do you think he’s got them all there yet? Or did he wait for you to try to talk me out of it?” She tilted her head to the side a little and glanced up at him.
She knew exactly what game he’d been playing and she wanted him to know that. In some ways, she knew them very well. They were occasionally overprotective of her. She liked that they felt that strongly about her, but they had to realize she wouldn’t let them lock her away from all harm. Not only was it impossible, but it would drive her insane.
Colm merely raised an eyebrow at her last question. “He’ll be there.”
“I wouldn’t want to keep the ladies waiting too long. I’m sure some of them have other duties.” She started to the door. Her hand slipped out of Colm’s. She wanted to step back and grab his hand again, but didn’t.
This had to be done. They already doubted that it was what she truly wanted to do. She wasn’t going to let them think she needed their strength or support to get through this. Now that it was only a few moments away, her gut churned and her palms dampened.
“If you want, you can change your mind about this. Linc will tell them something to explain the gathering.” Colm put his hand on her shoulder, drawing her to a stop before she opened the door.
“No, this is what I need to do.” She stared straight ahead. It would be so easy to put the decision in his hands and back away to give it some more time. That was the safest choice. She couldn’t do safe this time.
“All right, let’s go and you can say what you must.” Colm reached past her and opened the door.
“You’re acting as if this is going to end badly for you.” She shook her head. They’d wanted her to acknowledge that she was their mate since they’d first discovered it. She didn’t know what they were thinking. Were they suddenly getting nervous and wondering if they should be with her or was it really all about giving her a choice?
“No, it’s not that I think anything’s going to go wrong. I’d love to be able to smell your real scent and be able to fully claim you. I don’t want you rushed into this because of someone else’s actions.” His arm wrapped around her and pulled her against him in a quick hug. “We’d give you almost anything, Cami, but once we’ve claimed you, we won’t let you put the distance between us again. We’re not that strong.”
She’d like to disagree with him, but she knew that backing away would be a struggle for her too. Her stomach churned and sank to the floor at the thought of it. She straightened her shoulders. That was part of the reason she’d tried to keep space between them. Regardless of the pain, she’d do what needed to be done.
“There’s a chance I might not even want to put any distance between us.” She bit her lip and looked at him through her lashes. Panic shot through her. Doubts roiled through her, but the draw to them pushed beyond even that. If she hadn’t been recovering from the attack by Laed and Kynar, she wouldn’t have kept away from them this long. It simply wouldn’t be possible. The anger and blatant distrust allowed her to keep some emotional and physical distance between them.
“A chance? Before we go out these doors, I want to know if you’re still certain that this is the choice you want.” He put his hand on her shoulder.
She looked up at him and smiled. Such a good man. The desire for the full bond shown in his eyes, yet he gave her the opportunity to back away from something that made her anxious.
“I’m not changing my mind, but if you’re still wondering if it’s the right decision, the powder will take some time to leave my system. Until it does, I still won’t smell completely right. If you need time to be sure it’s what you want, you’ll have a little time. The separate rooms will ensure you have plenty of space to think and to be certain.” She didn’t think the time would be necessary. While the offer of time was sweet, he needed to see that doubt could sting.
He frowned and she heard a low growl. She hid a smile. Maybe he finally understood this time. He shoved open the door and stalked out onto the steps. She walked at his side, a smile curving her lips and her step a little lighter.
She kept her lips tilted upward as she surveyed the assembled group of women waiting at the base of the stairs. Her stomach did flips, but she merely took in a long, slow breath. Those women had given her enough trouble. Weakness would only cause more problems from that area. Considering the tenacity of their beliefs, they didn’t need any more encouragement.
“Good, I’m glad that everyone’s here.” Colm’s voice was smooth, but she saw that he hadn’t suddenly completely calmed down. He was still upset over what she’d said.
She swept her gaze over the women. She saw no overt hatred or tension. A few them looked curious and others seemed to be impatient. No clue who might attack her in the future there. She hadn’t expected to walk out and be able to see who would be a danger to her, but she thought she might get some clue from their immediate reaction of what their feelings were.
Stepping forward, she separated herself from Colm, simply to show the women that this was her choice. She deliberately looked at them all for a long moment. They were complete idiots if they didn’t see she was serious.
“I can understand in some ways the confusion that happened when I first arrived, especially with the way Colm and Linc had behaved before I arrived. My own attitude toward them, that was something that should have been worked out between those two men and myself. What baffles me is the continued behavior of some of you. Colm and Linc have made their position clear in a way that even a child should understand what I am to them.” She tilted her head as if she was giving the idea more thought. Not happening. There were never any answers and it made her head hurt.
Colm stepped up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder. She took a deep breath. Tension eased slowly out of her shoulders at that light touch. The reaction surprised her almost as much as him seeing that her nerves were becoming taut. She didn’t let herself lean back into his touch. She wanted to turn or cuddle back against him, but knew that now wasn’t the right time.
“Since that hasn’t worked and I’m tired of being attacked, I’m going to spell it out for you. They’re mine. From this point on, you attack me and I’ll make sure you have a long recuperation period to think things over. And if I’m attacked from the back again, I’ll gut you.” She put her hands on her hips and swept her eyes over the group of women. “If you think you have a claim on them, confront me, but they’re my mates and I’m not giving them up.”
“It sounds pretty clear to me.” Linc strode up the steps and stood beside her. He leaned in to her and his voice lowered. “Never thought I’d hear those words voluntarily from you.”
Her lips trembled, but she fought the smile trying to curve her lips. Didn’t the man know any better than this? She couldn’t show weakness now. Those women knew what they wanted. Firming her lips, she lifted her chin. So did she. Too bad for them.
“You can go back to what you were doing now.” Cami swung her gaze from one end of the group of women to the other. She hadn’t realized there were so many unmarried women here.
Nodding, she turned and walked back into the Thent. She exhaled slowly as she closed the door behind her. Her muscles relaxed for the first time since she’d stepped out onto those steps. She’d claimed them and she hadn’t panicked and run for the gate. A combination of relief and joy hit her. No more hiding.