chapter Fourteen
Cami headed up the stairs. She knew there was a third level to this place and she wanted to see it. At the end of the hall on the second floor, she found the steps leading to the third floor and grabbed a lamp as she climbed the stone staircase. There was no light up here other than the flickering glow of her lantern. She explored. More because she needed something to occupy her thoughts right now than from sheer curiosity. If she didn’t do something, her mind would be running in more directions than it already was.
Dust coated the floor and covered the top of the sconces along the wall. She looked back over her shoulder and could see her footprints along the hallway. This area hadn’t been used or given a good sweep in a long time. In a way, that was kind of comforting. This level would only be used if there was a siege and those who lived outside of the walls needed to take shelter inside of the fortress. On the other hand, she hadn’t expected to see so much dust here.
A noise caught her attention and she turned to find a woman at the top of the stairs. She had straight black hair, very dark-golden-brown skin and seemed to be the type of woman she knew Linc and Colm favored. Her body was slim and sleek and she was almost a full head shorter than Cami. Even compared to her, the woman appeared to be small.
Cami glanced at the doors along the hallway, wanting to take a peek inside of them, but good manners insisted she acknowledge the woman with more than a glance. Just from the determined look on the woman’s face, Cami knew it wasn’t curiosity or concern that had brought her up here. No, the woman wanted to confront the person she saw as encroaching on her territory. Damn Colm and Linc anyway. Didn’t they know that it wasn’t a good idea to mess with people in their own Thent? It was bound to lead to some messy situations.
“Hello.” Cami smiled. Although it was an awkward situation, Cami didn’t blame the woman. She laid it all on Linc and Colm. It was stupid and cruel to play around with the hearts of women in their Thent.
“Hello,” the woman said, but she eyed Cami warily.
“What are you doing up here? Did you see the light and think something was wrong?” Cami gave the woman an easy way to back away from a direct confrontation. The woman seemed to be losing her nerve now that they stood face to face.
The woman took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. “No, I followed you up from the first level.”
“I’m Cami. What’s your name?” Cami leaned a shoulder against the hallway wall and relaxed a little. She knew she sounded a little ditzy asking the woman’s name when she’d just admitted to following her up to this level, but she didn’t want to keep thinking of her as that woman.
“I’m Zinnia.” Her head tilted and she looked at Cami as if she couldn’t understand what she was doing.
“Why did you follow me up the stairs? Was there something you wanted?” Cami tried to keep the amusement out of her voice. Letting the other woman know she found this funny wouldn’t help the situation. Zinnia would probably take it the wrong way.
“Yes, there was something I wanted.” Zinnia frowned. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Here? Exploring.” Cami wasn’t going to make it easier and steer the conversation to Linc or Colm, even though she knew that was what the woman intended.
“Not at this moment.” Zinnia voice roughened and she leaned forward. “I meant with the Ardin.”
“Let’s see. They’re helping me stop the old, false Ardin who ruled my Thent and I’m waiting for that to happen.” Cami shrugged and watched the woman’s face turn red.
“You know I don’t mean anything to do with their mission to get those men. I mean what are you doing with them? Do you think you can simply come in here and grab their attention? Do you think it’s going to be that easy?” Zinnia scowled and swung away only to turn back almost immediately.
“You’re under a few mistaken impressions. Now if I hadn’t made a promise not to send another woman at them as a distraction, I’d tell you to go ahead and do your best to take them. You’re also missing one important factor. They make their own decisions. What you or I think about it is pretty much irrelevant.” Cami resisted the urge to roll her eyes and laugh. The woman acted as if all Cami had had to do was beckon to those men and they’d come to her. She hadn’t done anything to attract them. She’d pushed them away and generally tried her best to keep them at a distance. None of it worked.
Zinnia’s mouth dropped open. “You don’t want their attention?”
“They’re Ardin. For you, that may be a draw. For me, it’s one of their greatest faults. On top of that, I don’t really know much about them so I’d just as soon keep my distance while I’m here.” Cami took a deep breath. In spite of how strongly attracted she was to both of them, that was the best choice. The only problem was it might not be possible. Not only because they wanted her, but because that pull to them seemed to increase every moment she was with them.
“Yet they are interested in you.” She swept her eyes down and then back up and her eyes lingered on the right side of Cami’s face.
“Yeah, I know, not their usual fare. Definitely not small and slender.” Cami turned and began walking down the hallway. No reason not to explore since this conversation didn’t seem to be going anywhere. Zinnia wasn’t a physical threat.
“Where are you going?” The woman’s voice rose in indignation.
“Just walking. We’re not going to agree on anything with this, because there’s nothing either of us can do. There’s no use talking about it. Although you might not like it and I might try to dissuade them, they’re going to do what they want to do.”
“They won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do.” The woman hurried to catch up with her.
“No, they won’t, but I never said that I wasn’t attracted to them. I said that I wanted to keep my distance and that there were reasons why I’d rather do that.” Cami pushed open a door and looked into the room. It was a bedroom, but the bed wasn’t covered with a drape and all of the flat surfaces had a fine layer of dust. “Even knowing that it would be better to stay away from them, I still want them.”
“You’re right. You’re not what they usually look for in a woman. Which means they either see something other than the physical or that they want you in spite of the fact that…” Zinnia’s voice trailed off and she shot a glance over at Cami.
“In spite of the fact that my looks leave a lot to be desired.” Cami slid a glance over at the woman. As if she wasn’t fully aware of the fact that compared to Zinnia, she faded into the background at the very least and looked hideous at the worst.
“I didn’t mean that. It’s just that you’re different from me and the others they’ve favored.” Zinnia shook her head. She looked a little horrified.
“I can’t understand it either. I’m not petite, and if they ever call me perfect, I’ll know they’re lying. My body and face is so far from that, even I wonder about it. Maybe now that they’re back among the type of women they favor, they’ll see that they want something different.” Cami gave a small shrug, but she really didn’t see that happening. Agitation rose in her. She didn’t want that to happen.
“They won’t.” Zinnia shook her head and grimaced. “What happened to you?”
Cami slid a glance over at Zinnia. She couldn’t understand what the woman was doing now. First, she’d been confrontational and now she seemed curious. She wondered for a moment if she should tell the woman and then sighed. It’s not as if it was a secret that Linc and Colm were after the Ardin and others had heard parts of her story, so they would probably find out some of it anyway.
“The Ardin, well, men claiming to be Ardin, of my Thent beat me and then cut me,” Cami said flatly. It was getting a little easier to talk about it, but she wasn’t entirely sure that was a good thing. Talking about that time kept it present and at the front of her thoughts. She wanted to put it behind her.
“What did you do?” Zinnia’s head cocked to the side.
“If you mean to earn some kind of punishment, nothing. I brought their meal. They wanted someone else and decided to take it out on me. They became angry at the smallest things and when they were angry, someone paid. That day, it was me.” Cami exhaled and moved down the hallway and pushed open another door.
The room seemed to be in the same state as the others, but she decided to go inside and look at it a little more closely. The carvings on the mantle of the fireplace caught her eyes.
“What kind of things made them angry?” Zinnia’s eyes rounded and her face paled.
“Almost anything could set them off.” Cami ran her fingers over the carved head of a tiron on one side of the fireplace. It was gorgeous. The white stone was smooth and cold. These rooms would be fabulous cleaned and decorated.
“What things would do it, though?” Zinnia pressed.
Cami didn’t know if it was curiosity or if the woman thought Colm and Linc might harbor some of that behavior. “Your Ardin are different than them. I’ve tested them. Everything had to be done Laed and Kynar’s way. They liked to control all aspects of life in the Thent, including the cleaning schedule. There were a group of women who were beaten for not getting to the upper level rooms on time. One of them backhanded the cook when she told him that there wasn’t enough of a specific herb to make a dish he wanted.”
“I know they’re not the same as them. I just wondered if there were other Ardin as bad as those two, since I’ll probably find a mate outside the Thent now.” Zinnia licked her lips.
“According to the men, no. If the chatars in most Thents are comparable to the one here, then there will be true Ardin rulers, not the false ones we had to endure.” Cami grimaced. As much as Vin, the chatar here, got on her nerves, she had to admit she wished that there had been someone with his abilities at her Thent. It wouldn’t have gotten as bad as it did. This conversation had gotten a little bizarre. “There are good and bad people everywhere.”
“You’re not what I expected when I heard that the Ardin had brought a woman back with them. It’s not anything to do with your appearance. I didn’t expect the conversation to go this way.” Zinnia shook her head and looked bewildered.
“Well, I expected it to be a little more confrontational and a little louder. I also didn’t expect you to be so calm about it after only a few sentences.” Cami glanced over at the woman, even as she moved over to the bed and knelt to look at the scenes carved into the wood of the footboard. The panel at the end of her bed was nothing compared to this one. It was simply a polished wooden board with carved posts at the end.
“I wasn’t really angry. I was surprised when they told me that there was a woman who the Ardin had brought with them and that the Ardin couldn’t take their eyes off her. That they followed you and searched for you. They never did that with any of us. Not even at the first. Not really. They talked to us when we came to them to bring them food or some other chore that brought us close to them,” Zinnia said. “To tell you the truth, I was a little jealous of that.”
“I can understand why you’d be surprised. After all, they had seemed focused on finding someone among you.” Cami stood and dusted her hands off on her pants. “That doesn’t explain why you weren’t looking for your real mate. Before…” She lifted her hand to her face and traced her fingers over her cheek. “Before this happened, I wasn’t about to accept anything less. I didn’t want to wake up one day and find I was second best because my man had found his mate even if he was honorable enough to keep his commitment to me.”
“I never thought of it in that way. I think I wanted to stay with the familiar. I know everyone here.” She shrugged.
Cami nodded. She could understand wanting to stay with the known rather than the unknown. “Do you think there will be others such as you who want to confront me for taking the Ardin away?”
She felt silly even saying it that way, but she knew that was how some of the women saw it. Those men didn’t do anything they didn’t want to do and she had no hope of leading them around with a crook of her finger as the women seemed to think.
“I don’t know. Maybe.” Zinnia shrugged. “What were you really doing up here? You don’t seem as if you’re all that interested and yet you’re still here.”
“I needed some time away from my thoughts. Walking and looking, while not entirely effective, works enough to keep my mind from circling and making me feel trapped.” Cami shrugged. “That’s something I try to stay away from.”
“Feeling trapped?” Zinnia frowned.
“Yeah, I never did like being crowded, but now, it’s worse. I panic and overreact to any situation where I feel trapped. I feel silly and embarrassed afterward, but I can’t seem to stop it.” She wasn’t even going to go into how the feeling made the magic in her rise and the trouble that caused.
“How do you deal with Colm and Linc then? There are two of them and you can’t choose one or the other.” Zinnia’s head tilted and she straightened.
“They’ve been good about giving me time and space. Most of the time, they’re on one side of me or they keep a step or two away so that I don’t get panicked.” Cami really appreciated that and until this moment, she hadn’t thought about how much they made allowances for her fears and her needs.
Zinnia’s eyes widened. “They’re serious about you. More serious than I’d thought even from hearing they chased after you. I guess you’ve learned enough about Colm to realize that that’s a very significant thing.”
She knew they were serious, but she hadn’t thought much about what Colm’s reactions would be if he wasn’t. She’d been so focused on the fact that she knew he was reluctant to find and mate with his true mate. As to the significance of them making allowances for her issues with being crowded, she wasn’t so sure of that.
Colm might be brash, but he also had a protective streak. She thought it was part of the reason why he was Ardin. He’d be concerned and considerate of anyone who he considered weak or hurt. It irked, but she was almost certain that they did see her as at least fragile, if only emotionally. In the end, though, she couldn’t blame them for that. She did have some problems and was still trying to get her feet under her in ways.
“I know they’re focused, but I think that’s more of a character trait for them.” She shrugged.
“You think that our focus on you isn’t significant?” Colm’s voice came from the doorway.
Cami jumped and her heart raced. Her head snapped around to the bedroom doorway. Colm leaned against the frame of the door and Linc stood just in the hall. Her eyes narrowed and she fought not to grit her teeth or growl. That habit of theirs of popping up when she was talking about them made her want to scream.
“You two need a bell. I’m getting sick of you creeping up on me and startling me.” She put a hand on her hip even as she tried to keep the growl out of her voice. It wasn’t only them, but they happened to be the focus of her current aggravation.
“We wouldn’t hear so many interesting things. I think a bell tinkling would be annoying. I’d definitely have to take it off.” Linc smiled and hooked a thumb in his belt.
“Even if you are Ardin of this Thent, eavesdropping is still impolite.” She didn’t expect some kind of behavioral change from this argument. They were who they were, but she wanted them aware of how she felt about it.
Colm shrugged. “We were coming to get you. Listening to what you had to say just happened to be one of the good things that came out of doing that.”
“Came to get me for what? We don’t have anything planned.” She folded her arms across her chest.
“Well, we didn’t, but we’re going to talk.” Linc held out his hand. “Now.”
“I don’t want to talk now.” She threw the words out there and she knew it was a challenge in a way. She didn’t know what they’d do, but she was ready to find out. If she was lucky, they might not want to push her because they didn’t want her afraid of them.
“You are in a mood, aren’t you? You can walk beside us or one of us can pick you up and carry you. Do you want to find out now how you’ll handle being hauled through the fortress when you normally don’t like being confined at all?” Colm straightened.
“You two can’t even think about compromise. It’s no wonder that I detest men with power.” Her jaw ached and she wondered if she was going to grind her back teeth to nothing with those two around.
He’d do what he threatened. She knew it by the look in his eyes. She definitely didn’t want to be hauled through the halls. Not so much because she thought she’d panic if he held her, although she did wonder if she would. She knew that being in his arms would only make the attraction to him worse. She’d want to touch and put her arms around him. She needed to stay angry at him and keep both of them at a distance to keep her head clear. It was bad enough she couldn’t stop thinking about them or the emotional attraction that came with the mating, even if she’d stopped most of the sexual pull with the drug.
Linc blinked a little and his eyes narrowed, but that was the only sign that the words had affected him. Colm didn’t seem to react.
“Make your decision.” Linc’s voice was quiet.
“I’ll go with you. It’s not as though you’re giving me much choice anyway.” She narrowed her eyes and held back a hiss. As attracted as she was to them, she didn’t like their orders or the situation she found herself in even if she did have a hand in creating it.
“Good. We’re going down to our room. We definitely want privacy for this discussion. Walk in front of us,” Colm ordered.
She exhaled slowly. No getting out of this now. Oh she could run down the stairs. If she managed the corner out of the stairwell perfectly, she could put some distance between them. Getting to the first floor and out of the building was pretty near impossible without them catching up to her. They were faster than her, knew the building better and anyone in front of her or in her way would try to stop her if they saw her running from the Ardin.
She led the way down the stairs and through the halls to their room. They followed and she could feel their eyes locked on her. They weren’t letting her out of their sight. She’d made them angry, but they were focused on talking and most likely getting the answers to a few questions.
She should have kept her mouth shut until she had some time to think. Why hadn’t she just gone down to the room with them without an argument? It would have seemed as if she had nothing to hide from them. After they’d startled her, everything had been a defensive reaction. She’d wanted space and time. She grimaced. Those were the two things her reaction had pretty much guaranteed she wouldn’t get.
At the door, she paused. She didn’t know whether she should open it or wait for them to open it simply to make the point that only their orders and threats had gotten her this far. She didn’t have time to decide. Colm reached past her and pushed the door inward before urging her inside the room.
She walked into the room and strode to the opposite side of the room. She ignored the bed and the two chairs near a table. She didn’t want them towering over her while she sat. In their present mood, she knew they weren’t going to calmly take a seat. They could also start any conversation since she wasn’t going to volunteer any information.
The two men stopped at the edge of the bed, leaving ample space between them, and simply stared at her. She appreciated the space, especially since she knew what they suspected. They stood side by side. Colm had his arms crossed over his chest and Linc had his thumb hooked into his belt. She lifted her head and kept her mouth closed, although she did have the rash urge to throw out a challenging “what.”
“You’ve been hiding a lot from us. Did you think we wouldn’t find out even if you chose to try to keep it from us forever?” Linc frowned. His deep voice emerged in a low rumble, but the words were slow and controlled.
“Yes, I’ve hidden things, but I always knew there was a chance that it could be discovered. I had my reasons and most of them still apply.” She narrowed her eyes at his censuring tone.
“Most of them still apply. I’m sure we’ll get into the reasons you think you have, but first, on to the latest discovery. You’re our mate. Did you think we wouldn’t want to know? That we didn’t have a right to know?” Linc arched an eyebrow in imperious demand.
“A right? You don’t want a mate. Neither one of you do really. He was deliberately looking for a woman who wouldn’t be tied to either one of you by anything more than sex and maybe a little emotion.” She gestured to Colm and shook her head. “I may be that person or I may not be. Knowing what I do about you two, I didn’t give your rights much thought. I deserve a chance to be happy. I’m still not sure that will ever happen if I’m with you.”
“You are our mate. Whatever you’re using doesn’t completely disguise your taste.” Colm leaned in close and his eyes narrowed.
She shrugged. Well, that cleared up any doubt about what he’d felt when he tasted her. “That really doesn’t matter. I won’t stop using these tools until I’m certain that it’s the best choice. If you take it from me, I’ll be gone before you wake up the next morning. I won’t be resented or simply tolerated because you think mating with me is the only thing you can do now. We have options and I’m not going to let you take them away from us.”
“You have options? I can really only see two of them for you. Accept us and the mating or try running until we catch you. We’re not giving you up now that we know.” Colm took a slow step forward. “We don’t give up what’s ours.”
“Goddess, you’re being stubborn and deliberately blind. The feelings from the taste will fade eventually and you know it. The instincts won’t truly kick in until you smell me or I smell you clearly.” She shook her head. “Until then, we can walk away from this. That might be the best option for all of us. I’m not what you want.”
“You say things such as that and you really expect us not to want to strip you and scrub you until whatever is on you is finally off?”
She sighed and looked at the wall for a moment as she tried to push down her mounting frustration. “A lot of this isn’t about you two, although I do have my doubts about if I could ever be anything more than just a mate to you. I don’t want you to accept me simply because of that. I deserve more than that. I’m not sure I can deal with Thent life and then there’s my magic. Maybe it won’t be dangerous, but it’s always going to be there. Something that makes me more of a burden at times, because you’re going to have to teach me even the basics.”
“I still don’t know how you know some of the things you know, but I’m beginning to believe that it’s more than the crystal. I think it’s also because of your lineage. Yes, the chatar told us.” Linc’s head tilted as he caught her sharp look at him. “Your doubts will fade with time. We’ll make sure of that. You are and will be a priority for us. You seem to be dealing fairly well with life in a Thent.”
She definitely didn’t like the gleam in his eyes. “It’s temporary. That’s how I’m coping.”
“Some coping. You’re relaxed and comfortable, not tense.” Colm took a step to the side and eased closer to her.
“Damn it, why don’t you two listen? It’s not as though I’m such a prize. I’m not beautiful or perfect and definitely not your type. Don’t you think you deserve someone better? Someone who’ll be able to trust you easily. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to have that kind of simple belief in anyone again.” She nearly choked on the word perfect.
“I think she’s hit every one of them.” Linc looked over at Colm.
“Every one of what?” She narrowed her eyes.
“Every excuse. I think there might be a couple that you missed. You left out not being able to cope with being with us both sexually.” Colm smiled, but the predatory intent pushed it far beyond comforting.
“Probably because it would be such an obvious lie.” Linc exhaled slowly. “We’re not going to forget that you’re our mate. That’s not going to change, but we’re not going to strip away your defenses. You’re going to do that.”
“No.” She stared at him. Had he gone crazy? Why would she want to do that?
Colm nodded. “You won’t settle for second best and now neither will we. We want you.”
“Physically, you want me. You don’t know me.” She felt cornered and frustrated by their insistence that there wasn’t any way but their way. She was also a little afraid that they were right. Her doubts burned inside her, but the natural attraction to her mates pulled her to them. Her body ached to know their touch, but she also wanted to know them as men. What scared her most was Linc and Colm might simply tolerate her. She might not be able to walk away from them even knowing that.
“Then we’ll have to get to know you and you will learn about us at the same time. We’ll be talking and spending time together. Don’t expect us not to treat you as our Lady when we know what you are.” Colm took a step forward and his eyes swept over her.
“But I’m not your Lady. Not formally. If you treat me that way, your people are going to expect some kind of declaration at the least.” Her eyes widened and shock rolled through her. That was a step beyond what she’d thought they’d take even when she imagined the worst scenarios. Well, other than taking her bag and dragging her to the bath as they had warned her they wanted to do. Not that the bath would work.
“That’s something you’re going to have to bear. We’re not backing away from this. You are our mate and we won’t be hiding that fact. I know what I tasted even if it wasn’t reinforced by your smell. I want to feel everything. Do you think I can know this without wanting to have it all?” Colm took another step forward and his hand lifted and cupped the side of her cheek.
She didn’t back away from him. She was too stunned. The man who’d searched for a woman who wasn’t his mate was determined to claim her now because she was his mate. It made no sense. Acknowledging it and accepting it were the last things she thought he’d ever do if he found out. At least, not for a long time and after a lot of struggle. It seemed too easy. She was almost positive that she was going to feel the backlash of it.
“And what about the women you led on with your dogged search through the females of your own Thent? Are you going to deal with them? I don’t think they’re all going to accept it easily.” She scowled at him and tried to ignore the warmth of his hand. It felt right to have him touching her, even though the possessiveness in his eyes made her want to kick him.
“Words from him aren’t going to make them back off. They’re going to have to see that we’re serious about you. I don’t think they’ll believe it’s real until the ceremony is completed.” Linc shook his head, drawing her attention.
He was probably right and that irritated her. She was the one who’d be getting all of the attitude and dealing with any problems that arose because of it. So not fair.
She wasn’t the one who’d practically spat on the idea of mating and now wasn’t willing to consider any other option. Not that she had any clue why he’d been so adamant about it. She simply knew that he hadn’t been willing to consider it before.