Helga: Out of Hedgelands (Wood Cow Chronicles #1)

“What is this,” sneered the Royal Patrol Commander, “the lowest, most despised and contemptible scum of the Hedgelands speaks of courage? Please forgive me if I laugh.” The Skull Buzzard’s laugh, however, was noticeably hollow. He clearly did not know what to make of his surprisingly determined challenger.

“Your cruelties give me no reason to pity you,” Emil roared, springing upon the Royal Patrol Commander, knocking him soundly across the eyes with a powerful blow from the whole of his lower arm. The blow carried the concentrated force, in one instant, of all the rage that many Hedgies had long felt toward the High One and his Patrols.

The Royal Patrol Commander crumpled, unconscious, falling toward the edge of the yawning abyss. His companion leaped toward him, striving to halt his fall from the sheer cliffs of Star’s Door Peak.

Grabbing his companion tightly, struggling to halt the inevitable, the second Royal Patrol Buzzard too late realized that he, too, was sliding toward the edge. “TEEEAAAAH!” The long shriek sounded as the two members of the Royal Patrol fell, locked in embrace, to the rocks below. Even a powerful Skull Buzzard could not use his powers of flight in the heavy winter uniforms of the Royal Patrol.

The climbers all along the line halted simultaneously, as if a single thought surged through each creature at the same instant. They moved not—the first occasion in the ‘remembered times’ when the stair-climbing line had halted.

“Yar, you fat-faced thugs of Mae Vasuté!” Emil bellowed loudly, sending a final insult after the defeated Royal Patrol. Heaving and shaking with rage, he screamed into the wide emptiness into which the Royal Patrol had plummeted. “You’ll not be tossin’ any other fine creatures over the edge! You’re going to tell ’em you’re sorry—face-to-face!” Leaping full-force, Emil stamped on the Royal Patrol Commander’s hat, which had fallen off in Emil’s violent attack. Then he gave it a ferocious kick over the side of the stair.

“Yar, you miserable yellow-eyed brutes! You’ll not be forcing these poor creatures to shuffle mindlessly up the stairs, carrying rocks to build a castle that’s already too big for any good purpose!” Emil shouted, lost in his frenzied rant. At last, remembering his fallen friend, Emil knelt by the Coyote to attend to his needs. Finding barely a pulse, Emil gently picked the Coyote up in his brawny arms. Turning in the opposite direction of the climbing line, Emil stepped into the Royal Patrol lane—making his rebellion complete—and began carrying his friend back down the mountain.

A deep hush fell over the climbers. A creature had attacked the Royal Patrols. Two of the High One’s elite officers lay broken across the rocks far below. It was unprecedented. The High One would be very disturbed about this.





The Order Disturbed



Fropperdaft Hafful TaTerribee VIII, Ancient Order of Reprehense, 3rd Degree; Lord Reckoner of Heights; Most Eminent Swellhead of the Keepers; Baron Sheriff of the Forever End; Peerless Berzerker of the Crowning Glory; Grandee of Maev Astuté; and High One of all Hedgelands; was wealthy in the things of the world and a creature of the world’s thoughts. He fancied himself a philosopher, astronomer, inventor, merchant, and monarch without equal.

A big, loud Wolf, with a haunting emptiness in his eyes—as if he were always deeply drugged—a metallic, mirthless laugh constantly accented his speech. He loved the finest brocades and velvets, yet was rarely seen in fine clothes. A tyrant without peer, his dungeons were eternally full. Behind the vacant look in his eyes was a brilliantly inventive mind. Often he solved wildly complex problems so rapidly that his thoughts were far ahead of his words. This was the reason for the apparent emptiness in his eyes—his mind was far beyond the present moment. At any given time, the High One’s thoughts might be entirely unrelated to what was actually happening around him.

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