I’d let it go in the car because my head was hurting even more and I had to keep a lock on my reaction because I didn’t want to get emotional however that emotional might be, either losing it and snapping at him or losing it and getting teary.
After the huddle, even with my head still throbbing, I’d picked my moment and caught Sam when we could be alone.
“Is something up that I should know?” I asked.
Again gentle and sweet, he lifted his hand, cupped my jaw, his head dipped close and he whispered, “Now’s not the time, honey. Later.”
Then he’d kissed my nose, his hand fell away and then he moved away.
The good news was, he didn’t seem wired and worried. Neither did my Dad and Kyle. In fact, studying my father and brother, they seemed more at-ease then they’d been for ages.
So, clearly, nothing dire had happened.
The bad news was, if it was nothing bad, I didn’t get why Sam wouldn’t tell me.
As I stared out the window, I felt Sam fit his body to the back of mine and his arms went around me. Then I felt his jaw settle at the side of my head.
“Important day for you,” he muttered.
“Yeah,” I agreed.
“It’s done,” he stated.
“Yeah,” I repeated.
His arms gave me a squeeze and didn’t let go. He was quiet. So was I.
I waited for him to say something. We had time. It wasn’t early, it wasn’t late. It was just us. Until we had to be at the airport to check in our bags and Memphis for our flight which didn’t leave until eleven, we had nothing to do but be.
He didn’t say anything.
Neither did I.
But I felt my head start pounding.
Before I could figure out what to say, Sam spoke.
“Get ready for bed, relax. I’m gonna take Memphis down and give her a walk. Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Where’s her leash?”
“In my overnight bag.”
His jaw went away and his lips swept my neck. Then he let me go.
I turned and watched him dig through my bag and nab the leash. Memphis went mental at seeing it, Sam clipped it on and then he gave me a smile and chin lift (Memphis gave me a yap) and he was out the door.
I turned back to the window but I closed my eyes against the view.
Everything Sam danced across the backs of my eyelids. All of it, except what happened last night, was beautiful.
I opened my eyes and stared at a view I knew cost more than the average room, something else Sam gave to me since he was paying for it, like everything else.
And seeing that view, knowing he knew I had a headache so he was taking care of my dog, surmising that he was giving me quiet time to reflect on my “important day”, thinking of all that was him and that very day getting rid of everything that had anything to do with the hell I’d lived in my years of Cooter, I could not believe I wanted more.
But I couldn’t help it.
I did.
When it came to Sam, I wanted everything.
And I was beginning to fear he wasn’t going to give it to me.
Chapter Eighteen
Rangers
My headache was gone.
And without the throbbing, a yard sale, my friends and family and with it being the next day, nothing but Sam and me, waiting around, standing in line, hanging in departure lounges (the swish ones where the rich and famous hung which was to say where Sam hung and, now, me) and sitting on planes, I was no longer confused and concerned and trying to talk myself into being fearless.
I was pissed.
This was because Sam had plenty of opportunity to bring up any of a variety of topics, first and foremost whatever he spoke with Lee and Tanner about the day before.
But he didn’t.
In fact, although still unfailingly courteous and demonstrative with affection – holding hands, sitting in the lounge with his arm slung around the back of my seat, reading his Sports Illustrated on the plane with one hand resting on my thigh – he was mostly quiet. He was doing that being aware of his surroundings thing again, this likely because he could not fly with a firearm and the bodyguard who was coming with us (the other one was driving) who, unlike us, was flying coach and couldn’t get into the rich and famous departure lounge, was also unarmed and not with us the whole time.
Though I guessed this, obviously, since Sam didn’t tell me he had any concerns.
I spent this time mostly thinking about everything that crowded my head.
Then I spent it getting pissed about it.
Firstly, it was my life in danger and I felt I should be kept apprised of that situation. Sure, I’d had a tough time with Cooter. And sure, when Sam and I met I’d had my fair share of dramas. But since Crete, I’d been me, moving onward, dealing with things, getting on with life and doing all of this totally drama free. Sam noticed everything, he had to have noticed things had evened out for me and, if I did say so myself, I was handling everything pretty freaking well.
Secondly, in the beginning I’d been clear several times when I didn’t feel like sharing. But Sam didn’t accept that. He pushed it and got what he wanted. When I pushed it, he shut me out.