I should have known that was too much to ask.
I opened my door, and found myself staring at Tyler, standing in my tiny kitchen brewing coffee, looking nine kinds of sexy in a white button-down and jeans.
“You broke in?” I said. “Well, why not? Just another crime to add to the list.”
“A minor one, all things considered.” His voice was smooth and held a hint of humor. I knew him well enough to know he was trying to keep a lid on my temper.
I wasn’t entirely sure it was going to work.
“I thought Cole was the one with the lock-picking skills.”
“No, I said it was one of Cole’s two skills. I don’t believe I discussed my many and varied skills at all.” He held up a mug. “Coffee is on the list.”
“Why are you here?” I asked wearily. I moved to the bed and sat on the edge, exhausted. I wanted to be angry, truly I did. I wanted to yell and rant and scream and rave. But I was just too damn tired and sad.
“Cole told me what happened.”
“Yeah, I kind of guessed that.”
“I never lied to you,” he said.
I exhaled. “No,” I said, “you didn’t. Skirted around the truth, but never lied. And I never looked. I was like one of those monkeys with their hands over their eyes, their mouth, and their ears. I only saw what I wanted to see.”
“You were only really looking at Destiny,” he said. “And it’s scrubbed clean. Evan insisted on that if he was going to remain a partner.”
I shook my head. “No. It wasn’t Destiny I was looking at.” I drew in a breath. “It was you. You filled my vision. Larger than life. Bold and sexy and exciting, and I lost myself in the shine. And now I’m afraid that I see you way too clearly.”
“So now you’re punishing me because I am what you thought I was all along?”
“Don’t,” I said, and now the temper was rising. “Don’t play games. Not now. Not with this. I’m a cop, and you know it. Maybe I’ve been living in a fantasy with you, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m sworn to uphold the law.”
“You became a cop to punish yourself, Sloane. You made a cage out of the rules and the laws. But you don’t have to do that. You don’t need to be punished. Justice won that night, I promise you.”
I shook my head. “No. This isn’t about Harvey Grier—it’s not,” I said, though he had raised no protest. “It’s important to me, those rules, those codes. It’s my life.”
“And if I wanted you to be my life?”
His words, said so simply and plainly, were nothing more than a sucker punch. And I had to work not to shake. Not to cry out. Not to shout for him to please not say that again, because just the mere idea of it was too damn tempting—and I couldn’t afford to be tempted.
Slowly, when I thought I could manage it, I shook my head. “We both know that’s never going to happen.” I felt the tears behind my eyes, and as I sat with ramrod posture, I kept my eyes wide open, determined not to cry.
He stood by the sink, his eyes firmly on my face. “I have never wanted a woman the way I want you,” he said, his voice so full of promise and raw emotion that it almost broke me. “And I’ve never let a woman see into my cracks the way I have you. I understand your hesitations. I respect them. But know this. I’m damn well going to push against them.”
I ran my fingers through my hair. “I’m tired. And I’m confused. I want to be with you, but I don’t know how. I told you. This is the chasm, and I don’t see a way across. I mean, Christ, Tyler. You’re running an extortion scheme.”
“No,” he said. “Not extortion. Those tapes weren’t for money, but for protection.”
“What do you mean?”
“You might be surprised to know that not all politicians are fine, upstanding citizens. As it happens, the newly elected Alderman Bentley used to be a cog in a wheel that the guys and I ran.”