As we rolled onto the road, I admired the large trees surrounding the small winding lane. This is what it would feel like to fly, I thought, the vehicle quickly gaining speed, the trees a flash of greens and browns to my unfocused eyes.
The world began to rush by so fast that my eyes could not fathom what they were seeing. As I absorbed God’s divine creation, for a moment, I forgot Ky was in the machine with me, that I was away from my people. For but a sliver of time, I forgot… everything.
Sitting back on the seat, I kept my eyes glued outside, anticipating what I might see when we departed this country lane.
“So…” Ky said, and I rolled my head to face him. He shifted awkwardly, like he was uncomfortable in my presence. “How you liking life on the outside of the commune?”
My stomach clenched at his question, and I internally debated whether or not to be truthful. Deciding not to lie, I admitted, “I do not like it at all.”
Ky’s eyebrows raised and he asked, “Why?”
Playing with my hands, I admitted, “It is not the world I know. Everything I was brought up to believe was wrong, you—the Hangmen—seem to embrace and enjoy.”
“That’s why you think we’re all evil, ‘cause we like drinking, killing, and fucking?”
“Yes,” I answered honestly, wincing at the fact that he was so brazen about his lifestyle. He spoke so casually about killing, as if it were an everyday occurrence.
“It’s all relative, sweet cheeks. I think what you just came from was a clusterfuck and pretty fuckin’ sick too,” he said after a stifling minute of silence.
Outraged, I asked, “How so?’
“‘Cause even to a sinner like me, thinking one man could brainwash hundreds of people into believing he was a messenger of God and fuck little kids while doing so seems all kinda fuckin’ wrong to me. Hell, I’ll lay it on the line for you, Li. That prophet and that cult of yours was just using God to cover a fuckin’ pedophile ring.” Ky’s voice grew tighter the more he spoke.
“What is a pedophile?”
Ky’s shocked gaze met mine, then he refocused on the road. “Men, adults that like to fuck little kids.”
I was became breathless, shocked at his accusations. “No…” I whispered, my heart racing. “It was the elders' duty to join with us to rid us of our original sin.”
Ky’s eyes darkened. “Right. Like I said, fucking brainwashed.”
“You would not understand. You have no faith. Just live immorally,” I replied, feeling a sickness in my stomach at this conversation.
“You know what? You thinking we—the Hangmen—are wrong from living outlaw against what society dictates kinda fucks me off. We earn that bourbon and * after a hard day burning asphalt for this club, and kill only to protect what’s ours, just like those cunt elders that killed your sister, Bella, took Mae to force her to marry a walking corpse, and shot at my men when we went in to get her back,” Ky added, then glanced at me. “And, bitch, ain’t you a fuckin’ Christian?”
“Yes,” I shot back. “I am devout to our Lord and savior Jesus Christ… and my prophet.”
“Then what the fuck happened to ‘thou should not fuckin’ judge others,’ ‘love thy fuckin’ neighbor,’ and fuckin’ ‘love and forgive the sinners’ shit? ‘Cause all I’m hearing spill from your mouth now is fuckin’ hypocritical bullshit and judgmental preaching.”
I sat, mouth agape, as he added, “Yeah, speechless, Li? ‘Cause you’re hearing right now how fuckin’ flawed you and your goddamn faith sound.”
“My faith is not flawed!” I defended. I couldn’t help but ponder that some of Ky’s comments might have substance.
I sighed, shifted in my seat, and said, “But…”
“But?” Ky questioned, a smile threatening to burst onto his lips.