“Why you?” I asked.
Phebe smiled and a flush crept up her cheeks. “I am a decorated sister…” My eyebrows furrowed, and Phebe flicked back her hair. “I am also the consort to our prophet’s brother, Judah. I hold an elevated status amongst the women.”
Phebe looked so proud and so honored to be by Judah’s side, but the one and only time I had met the man, all I felt was coldness.
“Come. There is much to see,” Phebe said excitedly, pulling me through the door and into the morning sun.
*****
Prophet David’s familiar voice played through large speakers at the scared circle, and I could not believe my eyes.
I blinked furiously, believing I was seeing untruths. My hands were shaking and my breath became slow. They were everywhere, hundreds upon hundreds of people… free of clothing and writhing around in pleasure on the grass. Men joining carnally with women; women joining carnally with women.
It was hedonistic and explicit. Noises of pleasure pierced the morning air. I had never seen anything like it. This was no Lord’s Sharing I had ever witnessed. This was sinful, wrong.
I looked to the raised stage and there sat Prophet Cain. He was alone, dressed in all white, looking down at his people. Although from here he seemed uncomfortable, not engaging in the act, his eyes staring at the floor, not on the mass writhing bodies.
Everywhere I looked there were people having sex. I did not understand it. This was not what I had been taught, not how I had been raised.
A happy sigh escaped Phebe’s mouth, and she turned to me. “Is it not glorious, sister?”
My eyes widened at her words. “I do not understand. Why are such actions taking place in the Lord’s Holy grounds?”
“This is the prophet’s message, Delilah. This has always been the way. We celebrate the Lord’s love with our bodies, ‘flesh of his flesh.’”
My head shook profusely. “No! We are to be pure. Restrained. We are to suppress pleasure so as to not invite evil into our hearts and souls.”
Phebe laid her hand on my shoulder. “No, sister. That is the way of the Cursed. You must suppress pleasure so as to not invite further evil into your already blackened soul. You are to remain pure but for your god-blessed elder who helps you reach salvation. As the chosen ones of the Lord, we pray through our pleasure. The Lord made us sexual to feel his love.”
My lip shook as I remembered the first day Brother Noah took me in a Lord’s Sharing as a child…
“Delilah, today you learn obedience, for obedience shall conquer evil.” His head tipped to the side. “You do wish for your satanic soul to be saved, do you not?”
“Yes, sir, most desperately. I do not want to be fallen, nor a temptress.”
Brother Noah smiled, and my stomach flipped. It did not seem kind, nor sincere, but rather salacious and excited. “Then come. We are to go to the great hall where all the other sinners and Cursed that need saving convene.”
I bowed my head in submission, placing my small hand within his. “What will happen when we are in there?” my eight-year-old voice asked.
Brother Noah bent down, stroked his finger down my cheek, and said, “I am to take you, Delilah. Purify you with my seed. And you mustn’t fight it. For fighting will only delay your salvation. You want to be set free, do you not? You want to be with the Lord when the Day of Judgment comes?”
“Yes, sir, it is my utmost dream.”
“Then do not fight. Your sister, Bella, fought brother Gabriel at her first Sharing. She is still a headstrong and sinful child. Her soul is still dark. You do not want that, do you, Delilah?”
I shook my head vigorously. I did not want that at all.
I was scared as I was stripped of my garment. I was afraid as I was placed on all fours, my head pressed to the ground and my hands placed behind my back. There was pain, discomfort, but more than that, the surrender I made to Brother Noah and the Lord. This was how I should be saved.