I couldn’t settle, couldn’t deal with this shit. What if those fuckers were raping my bitch? What if they were taking her over and over, loving her screaming, getting hard off her fear… Or what if they’d killed her? What if all they wanted to do was send a message to the Hangmen, send one of our bitches to the boatman just to piss us the fuck off?
Did they want a war? Did they want our turf? Were they planning to trade in guns? Drugs?
“Y-y-you’re th-thinking too m-much, brother,” Styx stuttered. “D-don’t fuckin’ go th-there.”
Running my hand though my long hair, I threw my cherry to the ground and lit up another cancer stick. “Then tell me what the fuck to think, brother. Because right the fuck now, I’m going insane. They’ve got my woman, Styx, my motherfuckin’ woman. I ain’t loved a woman my whole life except my momma and my sister. I never thought I’d take an old lady. Thought you, Tank, and Bull were just *-whipped motherfuckers who’d made the wrong choice by giving up the * we get strutting through this place.”
I took another drag, feeling Styx watch me, and added, “I fuck like a damn god, lick clits like a fuckin’ sex toy, and can fuck for hours, Styx, hours. You know our old men were cunts, but I always agreed with them on one thing. Pussies are to be licked good, fucked hard—never worshipped. But fuck, man, Lilah, my fuckin’ innocent and crazy pilgrim blonde, knocked all that shit outta the park. Hell, build me a fuckin’ shrine to that bitch and I’ll worship it. She’s fuckin’ bewitched me, Styx, and it ain’t just those looks. It’s just out and out her.” My back hit the wall and I thought my chest was going to explode with the pressure tearing my sternum apart.
Styx leaned against the opposite wall, and I could see in his expression the brother was hurting too, for me, for his woman, hell, for the club. Those three crazy bitches had wormed their way into all the brothers’ hearts.
Staring at the gate, my vision blurred, and I said, “For the first time in my sorry twenty-seven years on this godforsaken Earth, I care about something more than the club, the freedom of the road, and my brothers. Now some fucker may have ripped it all apart, before me and my old lady gotta chance to get going.”
Styx raised his eyebrow. “O-old l-l-lady?”
My eyes snapped open when I realized what I’d just said. My gaze slammed to Styx’s and it was like the brother could see right through me. “Yeah… fuck!” I rasped out. “She is, Styx. I want Li, all of her, in my bed, on my bike, in my motherfuckin’ heart. Shit, I’ve joined your lost-my-bollocks-to-a-bitch ranks!” I tried to joke, but fuckin’ fear for Lilah took away any humor.
Styx flicked his smoke to the ground and took three steps forward to stand right in front of me. I looked up to my brother’s—my best friend’s—eyes, and clearly seeing the devastation written on my face, he wrapped his hand around my head and pulled me to his chest.
I fuckin’ nearly broke like a *.
Pushing me back, Styx cupped my cheeks and let go of me only to sign, “I fuckin’ asked you to watch Lilah so you could get to know her for more than her looks. I saw the way you looked at the bitch and I saw the way she looked at you too. I saw the spark but knew you were too much of a fuckin’ whore to want her for more than a fuck. I couldn’t let you do that to her, brother.”
“So what the fuck changed?” I asked.
He shrugged and rubbed at his jaw before signing, “Thought if I threw you together, you’d get on board quick. And you did, brother; that bitch had you wrapped around her finger in no time, just like Mae had me. But when you gave up the club * you used to fuck so much and you’re fucked-up orgies came to an end, I knew Lilah was it for you. And I want all that I have with Mae for you, Ky. You deserve to be with a good woman. In this life, a good woman by your side and on the back of your bike changes everything when shit gets rough. Believe me, Mae’s my fuckin’ lifeline in this cesspool we live in. She’s fuckin’ everything.”