The boy’s shoe helped her see her uncle. It opened up a line of communication between the girl and her uncle that might have remained closed otherwise. It would have been sad if she’d never met this boy’s shoe. It would have been sadder if she’d never realized how much she was truly loved.
Let’s be honest, it would have been sad if this girl, me, had never been woken up. I, Clare Macy, found a boy’s shoe, and it made me a better person, a better daughter, and a better friend.
That’s what this assignment is really about. It’s about meeting people and going places that changes you. It’s about going through things that leave you scarred and broken but stronger.
Max Vincent’s shoe—because it was Max’s shoe after all—took me down an amazing road. When I was finally able to look at Max’s face, to look beyond his shoe, I fell in love with the boy. My heart fell, and I’m glad it did. Because love, whether it lasts or not, changes you, too. It transforms you into something different. For me, it was a good different.
I’ve now loved two men in my life, and I’ve lost them both. Losing them hurts, but their lives taught me so much about living that what they taught me somehow overshadows the loss.
I have a long journey ahead, but where my eyes were closed before, they are open now. All thanks to a shoe. All thanks to a boy my heart called Heathcliff. Some love stories end. Others start your life over.
His jumpstarted mine. For that, I will always be grateful.
So, in short, I don’t have to look into a mirror to see the changes in me. I just need to keep walking, and I need to care enough about my shoes to stop occasionally and think about where they’ve taken me.
Shoes can tell a lot about a person. The journey they take you on can tell a lot about how they’ll hold up.
Chapter 20
For two weeks, I spent most of my afternoons with Rebecca preparing for graduation. I didn’t see Heathcliff after the day I turned in the mirror assignment. School had mostly ended for seniors, the roll no longer taken in class. Because of that, there wasn’t many who went to school. Summers and celebrations started early, but I kept going. I went because sitting at home would have been worse. The plantation didn’t feel the same without Gregor, even when Rebecca stayed.
It was because of this that I decided to take the fund Mams had started for me as a child, and the savings Gregor had marked as school account in his will, and apply for college. I wasn’t a bad student, but I also wasn’t the top of my class. While I was eligible for some financial help, most of the costs were left to me. My main interests lay in the culinary field.
For two weeks, I filled out applications and made phone calls, alternating between searching for colleges and shopping for graduation dresses with Rebecca. In truth, she shopped, and I watched, though I did grab a pair of black slacks and a fitted red top in one of the shops, trusting the size rather than using the dressing rooms.
Rebecca despaired of me. “If you want to become a business woman one day, you really need to dress better.”
I shrugged. “My career will mainly consist of aprons and chefs hats.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I’ll take it as it comes,” I said.
She quit trying after that, only throwing a few cursory comments my way later while reclining at the table in the plantation kitchen, her feet propped on an empty chair.
“Are you really going to leave?” Rebecca asked.
Standing at the kitchen counter, I glanced up, my gaze finding hers. I was baking. Ever since the day I made too many pecan pies and Heathcliff took them to his mother, she’d come often to the plantation to see if I had any baked goods she could sell at the Vincent café. It earned me a little extra money. Not much, but I liked the idea that I didn’t have to depend too heavily on the funds Uncle Gregor had left behind. He’d had two savings accounts, one for my college education, the other to help keep the plantation running.
“I guess it depends on the college I go to. I think I’d like to do a foreign internship, too. But I couldn’t stay away. There’s too much of me here,” I answered.
She smiled. “Good. I don’t think it’d be the same without you.”
“You’re not leaving?” I asked, surprised.
She snorted. “Of course not. Where would I go? Besides, I’m not cut out for town living. It’s kind of nice being a big fish in a small pond. If I leave here, that changes.”
I laughed. “Now who’s using her mother’s reputation?”
She threw me a look, but grinned nonetheless. My relationship with Heathcliff may have ended, but my friendship with Rebecca was growing.
Standing, Rebecca marched into the kitchen and snatched a cookie out of a nearby tin. “Just promise me you won’t let me marry the first guy who flashes me his abs.”