CHAPTER EIGHT
We cleaned up from dinner and settled next to each other on the couch facing out the bay windows, much the same way we had in Vegas. Committed to a very different outcome for the evening, I was not so subtle when I shimmied away a few inches, making his physical proximity slightly more bearable.
“Where did you learn to cook like that?” Blake asked.
I paused before answering to carefully consider how much of my personal life I really wished to share. Talking about my mother invariably introduced the mystery of my father, a difficult concept for people to grasp. The fact that I didn’t know my father’s identity elicited a range of reactions from others, from shock to judgment to pity. Despite my misgivings about bearing all to Blake, dodging his questions would only delay the truth. No doubt he would pester and pry it out of me, bit by bit.
“My mother was a phenomenal cook. She taught me everything I know about food.”
“Was?” he said gently.
“She passed away when I was twelve.” I swallowed against the twinge of sadness that surfaced every time I spoke of her. “She started getting sick, and by the time they found out what it was, the cancer had spread aggressively. She was gone a few months later.”
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“Thank you.” Saddened by the memory, I picked at the rip in my jeans. “So much time has passed, I have a hard time remembering everything about her. I feel like food is one of the ways I can keep her memory alive. That sounds strange, doesn’t it?”
“I don’t think so.” He turned toward me and took my free hand. “So your father raised you?”
He drew slow circles into the back of my hand, simultaneously distracting and calming me.
“My stepfather did for about a year. When I was thirteen, I came east for boarding school. I spent one summer back in Chicago, and the rest with my mother’s best friend, Marie, who lives just outside the city. I’ve pretty much been on my own since then though.”
“That’s a long time to be on your own.”
“That’s true, but I don’t really have anything else to compare it to. It is what it is, I suppose.”
“You must miss them.”
I hardly knew what it was like to have a father, but I’m sure I would have enjoyed having one under the right circumstances.
“I miss my mother every day,” I said. “But this is my life and everything that has made me who I am, so I can’t dwell on what might have been.”
I’d always be out of step with most people my age who’d been given many more chances to get it right, whose parents were there to scoop them up when they faltered and to point them in the right direction when indecisions were met.
I had quickly learned that my own safety net had sizeable gaping holes in it, which likely explained why lately I felt like I was at sea without a life preserver. Now my new weakness for Blake added a level of difficulty to the already risky endeavor of taking on the business full time. Yet here I was, giving him another opportunity to wear me down.
“It’s late. I should go.”
“You don’t have to.” His voice was serious, but not suggestive.
I searched his eyes for clues, hoping what I saw in them wasn’t pity. Mine wasn’t the happiest of stories, but feeling sorry for myself had gotten me nowhere.
“I know, but I have a million things to do before we meet up tomorrow.” I stood. “Enjoy the leftovers.”
He rose. “I eagerly await the hour when I can consider them leftovers.”
He was close enough that his breath drifted across my lips. The sexual tension crackled between us. A couple hours ago I was piping mad, but since then he’d devoured my favorite pasta and had been incredibly sweet. Still, being neighbors now required careful consideration about how best to move forward. Unfortunately he hadn’t given me much of a chance to consider anything, and my emotions were jumbled and confused.
I stuffed my hands in my pockets, resisting the urge to touch him. I looked down, wondering if this was the right time to talk about it.
“What’s wrong?” Concern etched the sharp lines of his face and he cupped my cheek in his palm. I leaned into the simple touch.
“Well for one, I’m still mad at you.”
A hint of a smile curved his mouth as he traced my lip with the pad of his thumb. He licked his lips, and mine parted at the gesture, tingling with the promise of his kiss.
“I like when you’re mad,” he murmured.
“Are you always this persistent?”
“Only when I see something I want.”
“How did I get so lucky?” I rolled my eyes.
“Are you fishing for compliments?”
“No, but I’m hoping you have a good reason for turning my life upside down.”
He stepped back and ran a hand through his hair, the absence leaving me momentarily bereft. I wanted him back, touching me.
“You’re different.”
I frowned a little. “Okay.”
“I wanted to see you again, and you weren’t really giving me that option.” He arched his eyebrows. “Can that be enough?”
I sighed and moved to him. “I guess we’ll see.” I pressed a swift kiss on his cheek.
* * *
I walked back into my apartment, which was too bright and bare compared to Blake’s. This was my new home, but I had a long way to go before the place would feel like my own. I eyed the mountain of bags and boxes that I needed to organize before getting back to work tomorrow. Then I remembered something.
I grabbed my phone and pulled up Sid’s number. He picked up on the second ring.
“What’s up?” he said.
“A few things. Alli got a job in New York.”
“Bummer,” he said without emotion.
“Also, someone at Angelcom is prepping me for my next meeting with Max, which bodes well for the financing.”
“Cool.”
“Lastly, where are you staying when the dorms close?”
“I was just going to crash with some friends around here until something came through.”
“I’ve got an extra room at my new place, and I could use the company. Are you interested?”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, definitely.”
“All right, sounds good to me.”
I smiled and gave him the address before we hung up.
* * *
The signage on the frosted glass double doors read, Landon Group, in bold serif font. I crossed the threshold into a landscape of high tech workstations that filled the long room. I spotted Blake leaning on the windowsill talking to a young man whose headphones were hanging around his neck. A smattering of Trekkie memorabilia decorated the desk. Sid would love it here, I thought. Blake looked up and muttered something before crossing over to me.
“Hey.” He flashed me a boyish smile and took my hand to lead me through the wide center aisle of the room to an enclosed office at the far end.
The gesture caught me off guard, but to my surprise, everyone seemed completely focused, as if no life existed beyond the stream of data feeding the machines. I was dressed all wrong too. In a white pencil skirt and a sleeveless black collared shirt with respectable black pumps, I stuck out in a sea of T-shirts, hoodies, and Hawaiian shirts. Apparently I had a lot to learn about tech start up culture.
Just outside what I assumed was Blake’s personal office, a punky petite woman sat at an L desk, zeroed in on her computer screen. She looked up when we approached.
“Erica, this is Cady.”
She jumped up and shook my hand. Cady was dressed as casually as everyone else in jeans and a simple white T-shirt. Her left arm was sleeved in colorful tattoos that blended together as one expansive work of body art, but what stood out most was her short bleached-out mohawk frosted with hot pink tips. Her ears were decorated with shiny metal gauges that matched her spiked belt.
“Hi, Erica. It’s good to meet you.” She took my hand, revealing a beautiful smile that lit up her gray eyes. Despite all her decorations, she was actually very attractive.
“Likewise.”
“Erica, Cady is my personal assistant. She’s also your neighbor.”
My eyes shot to him. I didn’t realize he had a roommate.
“I live downstairs from you. I think we just keep missing each other,” she said.
I breathed out with relief, surprised by my own reaction. “Oh, wow. Okay.” What the hell? I shouldn’t care if he had a roommate. After all, I was about to have one.
“Let me know if you ever have any questions about the place or the neighborhood. I’m kind of Blake’s unofficial property manager too.”
“Right, thanks.”
She gave a little wave as Blake pulled us into his office, shutting the door behind us.
His office was more typical of what I expected from his apartment, though it still impressed me. Three oversized monitors lined one of his two desks. Two displayed dozens of lines of code and the last was filled with spreadsheets. Heath’s assertion that Blake did all the work seemed valid. Even I wasn’t sure I could wear that many hats at once.
In another corner of the office, an enormous television hung on the wall, connected to what appeared to be every video game console one could imagine. He led me to a large frosted conference table facing a glass writeboard.
“Very Mission Impossible,” I said, secretly hoping for an excuse to write on it. Maybe I could illustrate the boundaries that needed to exist with our relationship.
He laughed and sat down at the table beside me. “Okay, show me what you’ve got.”
I flipped a switch and my business brain took over, shifting my priorities and focus for the next two hours while we worked diligently, outlining a plan for the second phase of the presentation to Max. We hashed out numbers and I explained more about the business. I scribbled notes down, mapping out the points that I would organize back at the apartment tonight, trying not to be distracted by his proximity.
Even under these circumstances I couldn’t stop remembering that Blake and I had once shared a night of unbridled passion. People avoided workplace affairs for this very reason. When I wasn’t looking directly at him, I could pretend I wasn’t unbearably attracted to him, but not without concerted effort.
“Have I earned my dinner, yet?” He was leaning back in his chair, a pen tucked behind his ear and a wicked smile on his face that just wasn’t fair. Women had to work so hard to achieve “effortless” beauty, but Blake could make my heart skip a beat with a well-timed smile and a pair of well-worn blue jeans.
“Do you always wear T-shirts to work?” I asked, ignoring his question.
“Usually.” He shrugged.
“But you wear suits to casinos?”
“I wasn’t at work.”
“Your wardrobe metric seems to be a bit skewed, Blake.” I turned back to my notes even though I had completely lost my train of thought. Visions of him in that gray suit propped up against my hotel door kept clouding my mind. He should wear suits more often, I thought. No. No, he shouldn’t. I shook my head at my notes, thankful Blake wasn’t tuned into my internal dialogue.
“If I wore a suit here, there’d be a mutiny. I have a reputation to maintain after all.”
Sid wouldn’t be caught dead in a suit, so he might be right.
We spent the rest of the afternoon at Blake’s office. I toiled away on my presentation while he tapped at his keyboard, making magic happen between his three monitors. I had made considerable progress and felt confident I could satisfy whatever questions Max might have for me in our follow up and fill in the blanks left by my brief pitch earlier. I closed my laptop and stood to go when Blake spun around in his chair.
“What’s the plan?” he said.
He sized me up with a wolfish grin that looked anything but innocent.
“I’m not your private chef. You realize that, right?”
“Perhaps we could negotiate.” He rose and leaned against the desk in front me.
Why did he have to be so damned sexy?
“What could I do for you?”
I shivered at the low rasp in his voice. Maybe we could skip dinner and go right to dessert. Chocolate mousse sounded good. Licking chocolate mousse off his rock hard abs came to mind. Every delicious ridge…all the way down. Oh God. I bit my lip with restraint. I hadn’t spent nearly enough time worshipping his body the last and only time I’d had him naked.
“Do you have something in mind, Erica?” Blake left his post at the desk and stalked closer.
I had reached the cut off for the amount of time I could safely spend alone with him. Like a drug, his presence was potent. I bit my lip at the fantasy of him being my living breathing dessert plate.
Get a grip, Erica.
I snapped out of my reverie and straightened. “Do you have your fancy car here?”
“I do. And no, you can’t drive it,” he teased.
“I need to grab some household things for the apartment. Give me a ride, and I’ll make you chicken parm tonight.”
“I’m ready when you are.”
We spent the next hour in a large department store, filling the cart with kitchenware, towels, and bedding. I grabbed the cheapest sheet set I could find in a color I liked, but Blake wordlessly put them back and replaced them with a 400-thread count set at thrice the price. I didn’t argue since I was relying on him for transportation at the moment. Beyond that, he behaved, though he obviously hadn’t shopped for much on his own in years.
At the checkout, I was so busy organizing bags in the heaping cart that I didn’t notice Blake slide his credit card through before it was too late.
“What the hell, Blake?” I protested.
“Call it your housewarming present.”
“Absolutely not. You’re being ridiculous.”
“It’s the least I can do. I did basically force you into living next door to me.”
“Below you,” I said.
“That’s how I like you,” he murmured, his eyes darkening.
Those few little words rendered me speechless and I heated from head to toe. My hands trembled a bit as I stuffed the receipt into my purse.
Blake insisted I wait in the car while he loaded the bags. We rode back to the apartment in relative silence. I stared at the screen between us and remembered the call that had come in the last time I was with him here.
“So who’s Sophia,” I asked. I feigned disinterest, looking out the window as buildings sped by us.
“She owns a company I invest in,” he said. “Why do you ask?”
“I was just curious.”
I shrugged and spotted our brownstone. So far Blake hadn’t blatantly lied to me about anything, but he had a penchant for misleading me. For now I decided to believe him and put the subject out of my mind.
Blake brought everything upstairs for me. He ascended the steps, his arms lined with about ten bags each while I hurried to unlock the door.
Just as we started putting things away, Sid walked in. Blake straightened immediately from his task of folding towels, which he was doing all wrong but I didn’t have the heart to tell him.
“Sid, hey. This is Blake. Blake, you remember me talking about Sid, our developer.”
Blake visibly relaxed and the twitch in his jaw disappeared. What was with him and staking his claim in my apartment? Sid could be easily agitated, so the last thing I needed was for Blake to make him uncomfortable on day one.
“Sure,” he said, walking over to shake Sid’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”
Sid towered over him but his arms were about half the diameter of Blake’s. The two men could not have been more different, in physicality or temperament.
“You too. And you are?”
“I’m Erica’s neighbor,” Blake said quickly.
A pang of disappointment shot through me. What had I expected him to say?
“I guess you’re my neighbor too then.” Sid shrugged out of his enormous hiking backpack.
The twitch was back, and the taut line of Blake’s jaw made me question my grand plan.
“Great,” he said.
I walked over quickly, hoping to neutralize the situation that Sid had no idea he’d just walked into. “Yeah, Sid is going to crash here until we figure out the financing thing. Dorms close this week, you know.”
“Right,” Blake said, running his hand through his hair.
I’d fill Sid in on Blake’s association with Angelcom later. In the meantime, I had a kitchen to organize, a meal to cook, and an awkward dinner to host.
I showed Sid his room. All I had was the blow up mattress and bedding that would have to do until we got some real furniture. He didn’t seem to care much, so I returned to the kitchen and started prepping the meal. Before I knew it, Blake was behind me. He spun me around.
“You never told me about the roommate.”
His voice was low and serious enough to set my heart beating a mile a minute. Was he angry? I couldn’t really tell, but I felt like a child about to go to time-out.
Inviting Sid to be my roommate had been a rash decision, granted. I knew how he lived, typically in a pile of pop tart wrapper rubble, and it worried me a bit. But in truth, I wasn’t ready to live solo anyway, and I could use his presence at the apartment to deter Blake’s advances, though it wasn’t working at present.
I swallowed hard before replying. “You haven’t exactly been straightforward with me either, Blake. I don’t know what you expect.”
“It’s a complication. I suppose we’ll have to work around it.”
“Oh?”
“We’ll just be spending a lot more time upstairs is all.”
He stepped between my legs and lifted my knee over his thigh with a single fluid motion. My breath rushed out of me, and I gripped the edge of the counter as he pinned me to it. He pressed a hot kiss on my neck before taking my earlobe between his teeth.
I gasped at the sensation and held on tight and squeezed my eyes shut, reminding myself of every good reason not to give in to him. There was a line with Blake. On one side of it, I wanted him desperately, but somehow I could muster the willpower to refuse him. We were on the other side of that line, where I was completely at his mercy, helpless against his determination to have me.
His hands crept under my shirt and stroked the bare skin of my back, the contact sending me into orbit. My nipples hardened and brushed against his chest as I arched into him.
“I need you, Erica. Tonight.” He pressed the evidence of his desire into me.
His mouth was on mine before I could say no, obliterating any remote ideas about putting him off again. He kissed me hard and deep, sucking and licking with an urgency I fully met. I finally released my hands and raked my fingers through his hair, urging him closer. He pulled back to catch his breath, and I gripped him tighter, willing him back to me.
There we were, Blake’s hands on their way up my skirt, each of us on fire for the other, when Sid shuffled out of his bedroom and stopped short in the living room.
I froze, petrified by being caught in the act. With Sid entirely out of his view, Blake slowly retreated. He gave me a little smirk, letting me know our little show had gone according to his plan. He adjusted himself before turning around and busying himself with something at the island.
Flustered by my desire and newfound irritation, I channeled my emotions into the food, ignoring Blake’s requests to help. We were obviously playing a game, but I was already growing tired of it. The only move I could think up was to ignore him, to not give him what we both wanted even though I was ready to combust with sexual frustration. If I could get a handle on that, maybe he’d learn I wasn’t someone to toy with.
Somehow we all made it through dinner. I ate at the counter. Both Sid and Blake devoured my mother’s chicken parmesan at the breakfast bar. We needed real furniture at some point. Buying furniture worthy of the space while on a budget would be a challenge, but not impossible. I resolved to do a little bargain shopping after I finalized my presentation notes in the morning.
Now more than ever, I needed this to feel like home, a safe place away from the rest of the world. Right now the apartment was barren and strange. Between that, Alli being out of my immediate life, and Blake’s mission to turn my world upside down, I felt as if I were dangling precariously, hanging on for dear life to any semblance of normalcy.
Blake must have picked up on my withdrawal, because when we finished cleaning up, he let me know he was taking off. I walked him to the door, and Sid disappeared on cue.
“Are you okay?” Blake’s eyes, not so long ago clouded with the heat of lust, were now filled with concern.
“I’m fine, just tired. It’s been a long day.” It was only half of the truth but I didn’t have the energy to talk it out or bicker with him.
“Do you want a ride to the office tomorrow?”
“No, thanks. I’d rather just finish up here. I have some errands to run.”
He nodded, and when he leaned in for a kiss, I turned my head, narrowly escaping his lips on my own. I closed my eyes. As much as I wanted to make a point, I dreaded the look in his eyes. When I opened them, he had disappeared up the stairs.
I shut the door and leaned against it. My face fell into my hands. How the hell had I gotten into this mess?