He stroked her hair. “So damn sorry.”
And then it occurred to her. “Oh, God.” She pushed back far enough to meet his gaze. “What if Nick loses both of his siblings?” Since he’d come home from the Army, Jess had gotten to know Nick pretty good. He could be stubborn and opinionated and a pain in her ass, mostly playfully, but he was a good guy and a great brother, and she knew that his family meant the world to him.
Ike shook his head. “Don’t think that way. They’re getting treatment. There’s no reason to think they won’t pull through.”
Did Ike really believe that? Jess let her forehead drop against his chest. He was probably right. They should stay positive. But the fear and looming grief were nearly suffocating. “I feel so far away,” she said through more tears.
“I know. I wish we could go to the hospital, but some of the Seneka operatives got away, so the situation’s still red hot.” He settled back against the counter and pulled her to rest against him. He stroked her hair and caught the tears running down her cheek, and just held her as long as she needed him to.
For all the problems between them, there wasn’t another person she would’ve wanted to be with in this moment. Jeremy and Nick were both of their friends and coworkers. Ike knew exactly what she’d feel if either of the Rixey siblings didn’t pull through.
Heaving a shaking breath, Jess pulled away, though she stayed within the comforting ring of Ike’s arms. “Waiting for information is going to kill me.”
He handed her a paper towel from the roll behind him. “That’s the goddamned truth,” he said.
“Thanks.” Jess wiped at her face, but her stupid eyes wouldn’t stop leaking.
“Come with me,” Ike said. He took her hand, stopped at the fridge and grabbed two bottles of water, and then led her out the back door of the kitchen. A huge roofed porch ran the length of the building and overlooked a wide lawn, the rolling mountains, and the blue-green valley beyond.
Under any other circumstances, the view would’ve taken Jess’s breath. But she just couldn’t appreciate it, couldn’t see it, not when her friends were fighting for their lives.
Ike pulled two cushioned lounge chairs close together and guided her to one. He took the other, and despite all her fucking resolve, she hated the distance between them. She leaned as far as she could into his chair and rested her head against his arm.
Ike sat up, gently grabbed her, and pulled her into the chair with him. “C’mere,” he said, making room for her. “Is this okay?”
“Yes,” Jess said, fitting her body in next to his so her drawn-up knee rested on his thighs and her head rested on his chest. “What do we do now?” she asked, suspecting the answer and hating it.
Ike sighed and pulled her in tighter against him. “Now we wait.”
Chapter 13
The waiting was killing her. The minutes clicked by so slowly that it seemed like time wasn’t moving at all. Jess lay in Ike’s arms as morning turned into afternoon, and afternoon made the late-day stretch toward evening. Sometimes he dozed off, but she never did. She just stared at the view and silently fought back the yawning pain inside her. How had her world fallen apart so quickly? Again.
Hang on, Jeremy. Don’t you fucking die on me! If miracles were possible, she willed him to hear her. To fight. To hold on to life and never let it go. Jeremy, with his dirty T-shirt collection and his flirtatiousness and his amazing art. She couldn’t lose him. She just couldn’t.
The thoughts beckoned more tears. Jess tried to stop them, but couldn’t. What was taking so long? Why hadn’t they heard anything else? It couldn’t be a good sign, could it? Her eyes burned, her face ached, her throat was dry and scratchy. The more she tried to hold herself still so she didn’t disturb Ike, the harder she shook.
“Aw, sweet Jess, don’t cry,” Ike said, his voice sounding like he was still half asleep. “I’ve got you. Everything will be okay.” His hand gently rubbed her back.
“You don’t know that,” she said through thick tears. “You can’t know.”
Fingers cupped her chin and lifted her face to meet Ike’s gaze. He stared at her a long moment, his thumb stroking her cheek and catching her tears. His eyes searched hers like he was looking for something. “I do.”
“How?” she said. She hoped he did know because she needed some shred of hope to cling to.
Finally, in a very quiet voice he said, “Because we’re together.”
Confusion lanced through her grief, followed quickly by a tendril of hope she wasn’t sure she should reach for. “Ike, what do you—”
His cell phone buzzed an incoming call. Jess gasped and her gaze clashed with Ike’s.
This was it. Moment of truth time. Jess was so scared to hear the news that she could barely stand being inside her own skin.