Chapter
twenty-five
I headed back to the hotel in Uguisudani. The closer I got, the more nervous I felt. The night before had been magical, but then Sayaka and I had both gone back to our separate lives. Did she feel the same way I did? What was she thinking? Would it be awkward? And she was probably wondering all the same about me. Or wasn’t she? That would be worse, much worse.
But at the same time, worrying about Sayaka was a relief. I felt like I was riding away from someone else, some other part of myself, and leaving him behind. Thinking of Sayaka made me feel like…like what she imagined me to be. Wanted me to be. I was different with her. She’d said as much, and I felt it, too. I wanted to make it so that one world would have nothing to do with the other. And that by stepping into that world, I’d close the door on the other. It felt possible. It felt good.
She was at the desk when I walked in. She smiled when she saw me, but there was tension in her expression, too.
“Hey,” I said, walking over. “You look good.”
That seemed to relax her a little. “Yeah? So do you.”
I had to push back an image of Mori, but I managed. “Hey, no flirting with the customers.”
She laughed a little at that. There was an awkward pause.
I ran my fingers through my hair. “Last night—”
“I know.”
I felt myself flush. “You don’t even know what I was going to say!” Actually, neither did I.
She laughed. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“I was just going to say…it was amazing. I kept thinking about it today.” It sure as hell beat everything else I was thinking about, but I kept that part to myself.
She smiled. “Yeah, me too. I couldn’t wait for tonight. Well, for tomorrow morning. When I get off here.”
“Sure you can’t slip away for a special, really loyal customer?”
“This place? Even if I could, and I can’t, no. This is just to pay the bills. I don’t want to have any other associations with it.”
“All right, I guess I can wait. Can I kiss you goodnight?”
She looked around nervously. “Okay, but make it quick—I really don’t need some drunken salaryman seeing us making out and getting the idea that’s what I’m here for.”
She unlocked the door and I ducked inside. I really just meant to give her a simple goodnight kiss, but it pretty instantly turned into more than that. She broke it off, breathing hard. “Get out of here, you. You’re too tempting.”
“Oh man, so are you.”
I went back around. “I have to charge you,” she said. “They know when a room’s been used because of the maid service. Otherwise, I wouldn’t.”
“Don’t worry about it. I don’t want to get you in trouble.” I gave her the money and took the key. “What time should I come down?”
“I get off at seven. But don’t meet me here. I don’t want people to see us together. Just come to my apartment, anytime after seven-thirty. Okay?”
“I can’t wait.”
She smiled. “Neither can I.”