“We need to pray for her, for sure.”
“Well, what exactly did you hear happen? I mean, just so that we can pray for specifics.”
“I heard she snorted cocaine and then made out with Dean.”
“Really? I heard she slept with him.”
“What?! Well then we really need to pray for her. Sex outside of marriage? That’s, like, the ultimate sin.”
“I know, right? I could almost forgive the whole robbery thing, but premarital sex?”
“For real. The right thing to do is for the two of them to get married.”
“I know. Aren’t they married in God’s eyes anyway? Since they had sex?”
“I think so. They need to make it official so they’re not living in sin.”
“Such a shame. We need to really pray for her.”
I hung my head and giggled. And then I burst out laughing. Several people at the table turned in my direction, looking at me with confusion and suspicion. I saw Avery glare. What was the big deal? I was only laughing. Hysterically. And then Avery got up from her seat and walked over to me. She leaned over and whispered in my ear.
“Don’t you dare crack up on me,” she hissed. “Put that pizza in your freaking mouth and eat. I told you you need to be eating. And stop laughing like a lunatic. If you mess up my plans, I will murder you.”
I shook my head and sighed.
Christians.
Several weeks passed, and I had graduated to three driving days. For whatever reason, Dad decided to give me Wednesdays in addition to Tuesdays and Thursdays with the understanding that I come straight home from school. I didn’t want to push it, but the Starbucks sign signaled to me like a lighthouse, and I was the tired, wandering sailor in need of caffeine. I put on my blinker before thinking, and turned into the parking lot. That’s when I remembered that I’d be a sailor without a boat if I didn’t let Dad know what I was doing. I pulled out my cell phone and called him.
“Dad? I’ve stopped at Starbucks on my way home. Want anything?” I asked. I figured if I offered to get him something, he wouldn’t be upset.
“Cadence, what are the rules?” Dad replied.
To never stop anywhere after school or have a life of any kind.
“I know,” I said. “I haven’t gone in yet. I’ll just leave.”
“Well, you’re already there,” Dad said. “You could get me a tall coffee. Medium blend.”
“Okay.” I wanted to squeal it but remained composed.
“And you’ll have to drop it by the office,” Dad said. “I’ll be home late.”
Even better. That meant I could drive around longer. Driving was always preferable to being home sulking in my bedroom.
“No problem,” I replied. I hoped Dad would start asking me to run errands for him after school. I could be his personal assistant, and he wouldn’t have to pay me a thing. Just give me money for coffee when I wanted it.
“Thank you, honey,” Dad said, and hung up before I could reply.
First a hug. Then a “honey.” I wouldn’t get my hopes up that I was working my way back into his good graces, but I couldn’t deny the sunshine exploding in my heart. No one would ever understand how happy I was to be at Starbucks on a Wednesday afternoon getting coffee for my dad.
I hovered around the crowded counter waiting for my order, pretending to text and answer emails and look important like everyone else. I really missed Gracie, and I really hated that she had a new, better friend. I saw them at lunch every day. Between classes every day. Her name was Sophia, and I automatically hated her. I hated being alone. Yes, there was Avery, but I felt just as empty around her as if I were by myself. I tried to trick myself into believing that I welcomed the solitude, but I was too smart for that.
I was so lonely. So lonely. Lonely . . .
“What’s up, Cadence?” I heard from behind.
I turned around to see Mr. Connelly.
“Hi.” I blushed. I blushed now every time I saw Mr. Connelly. I had good reasons that included a handkerchief, a lunch, a note, and a wet wipe. Oh yeah, and a Saturday where I leaned against his leg while he fixed a leaky faucet. “You get your coffee here?”
“Sure,” he replied, furrowing his eyebrows. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Oh, well, you don’t seem like the corporate type,” I said. “I figured you only went to independent coffee shops.”
“Is it the clothes?”
“Huh?”
“The clothes. Do I give off an independent vibe?” he asked, pushing his hand through his hair. It was sexy the way he did it, like he was slightly nervous but not altogether self-conscious. That’s the first time I ever saw Mr. Connelly act that way. Did I make him slightly nervous? I wouldn’t dare entertain the idea.
“Maybe,” I replied, and let my eyes travel up and down his body, but very quickly so he wouldn’t notice.
“Well, I don’t adhere to any strict code when it comes to plunking down my money. If I like it, I purchase it. Doesn’t matter where it comes from.”
I nodded.
He thought for a moment. “Well, I mean, if I know little five-year-olds are working in sweat shops, then I won’t buy it.”
“I get it.”
“Or animals. If animals are being abused or tested on, then I won’t buy that stuff either.”
He fidgeted with his fingers. I stared at him amused.
“Unethical practices. You know. I’m not into that.”
“Totally get what you’re saying, Mr. Connelly.” Good grief, this guy was nervous!
Mr. Connelly cleared his throat. “So, did you understand the material today?”
“Do I ever understand it?”
He relaxed and chuckled. “Well, tutoring seems to be helping. Your last quiz grade was a lot better.”
I nodded. I was bored. I didn’t want to talk about my progress in his class. I wanted to ask him why he touched me with that wet wipe.
“Are you gonna keep coming to tutoring sessions?” he asked.
“Are you kidding? I’ll be there every day from now until I graduate if it means I can keep driving.”
This time Mr. Connelly laughed hard. I liked that I made him laugh. It felt good. And powerful.
“But I really want you to understand what I’m teaching, Cadence,” Mr. Connelly said. “Are you paying attention in class?”