“Please calm down,” Mrs. Kinder said.
“No!” I screamed. “And I’m not cleaning up all that fucking sand!”
Oh shit. Shit shit shit.
“Excuse me?”
It wasn’t fair. I had never, in my entire life, said that word in front of an adult. Especially one who held so much power over me. I was in major trouble.
“Mrs. Kinder, oh my God. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. I wasn’t cussing at you. I was cussing at the situation,” I said. I decided my best hope of evading punishment was to bring on the tears. “It’s just been awful!” I cried. “I’m getting picked on, and I’m tired, and there’s sand everywhere!”
Mrs. Kinder’s face relaxed.
“You have every right to be mad, and I should get in trouble, I should! But I’m begging you. Please don’t call my parents! I’ll do morning detention all year if you don’t call my parents!”
I sniffed and wiped my nose with the back of my hand like a four-year-old. It was so pitiful, and I wasn’t even pretending anymore. I pulled the handkerchief out of my pocket and cried into it.
“Honey, it’s okay. And you won’t have to clean up the sand. Calm yourself down and take a seat.”
The hitching in my chest made it impossible to answer, so I nodded and sat down. Right then the office door swung open, and Mr. Connelly walked in. Of course he walked in. Because I was sitting in the office, crying, holding his used handkerchief.
“Cadence? You okay?” he asked.
“Seriously?” I whispered. “Do you have to be in here right now?” I wouldn’t look at his face.
“Yes,” he replied. “I needed to check my mail. I’m sorry if that bothers you.”
“It doesn’t,” I snapped, then took off one shoe and started wiping it out with his handkerchief.
“Hmmm,” he said, watching me.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I replied, looking up at him, waving the handkerchief in his face. “Does this bother you? ‘Cause I’ve been trying to give it back to you, and you won’t take it, so I figured I’d just use it however the hell I want to.” I only cussed then because Mrs. Kinder had gone into the back office to call a janitor. I continued cleaning out my shoe.
Mr. Connelly squatted beside me. “You can use my handkerchief however the hell you want to,” he said softly.
The breath caught in my throat. Breath, Cadence. But I couldn’t remember how.
“Now, will you tell me why you’re wiping sand out of your shoes?” he asked.
“Sand in my locker,” I choked out. “It—” I took a long, satisfying gulp of air. “—poured out when I opened the door.”
“Hmmm.”
Just then, Mrs. Kinder came back into the room and called me to the counter.
“Cadence, this is your new lock,” she said, handing it to me. “Here’s the combination. I suggest you learn it immediately and then throw this paper away.”
Twenty-six, 17, 2. Twenty-six, 17, 2. “I’ve already got it,” I said. “And please shred it.” I turned to leave then stopped and faced Mrs. Kinder once more. “Thank you,” I whispered.
She smiled and nodded.
I left the office without acknowledging Mr. Connelly and returned to my locker. Kenny, the janitor, was already vacuuming the sand from the floor. He turned off the vacuum when I approached.
“Didn’t wanna vacuum your locker ‘til you got your books out. Didn’t wanna touch your stuff,” he said.
“Oh, nothing in my locker is important. If you wanna destroy my textbooks, I wouldn’t care. You can steal them if you like,” I offered.
He chuckled. “Been a long time since I was in high school. And it was bad enough the first time. I don’t need your books to remind me.”
I laughed. I liked Kenny. He was an older gentleman in his mid-sixties with gray hair and a large belly who had worked at Crestview High ever since I started. He was kind to all the students, and most were kind back.
“Do you mind vacuuming out my shoes?” I asked, piling the last of my books on the floor.
Kenny finished cleaning my history textbook before moving on to my shoes. I took one off at a time, standing on one foot then the other so that my bare feet never touched the dirty hallway floor. Kenny was even nice enough to run the vacuum hose over my bare soles, sucking up the last of the obstinate grains stuck to my skin.
“Thanks, Kenny,” I said, shoving my books back in my locker.
“Not a problem, Cadence,” he replied. “I’m sorry this happened to you.”
I shrugged. “Well, I guess I shouldn’t have landed in juvie. Then it’d be a nonissue.”
“Doesn’t matter what happened in the past. Kids shouldn’t be doing this to you,” he said.
“It’s okay. I’ve got a new lock,” I said, holding it up and wiggling my eyebrows.
“Good girl,” and then he said goodbye, pulling the industrial-size vacuum behind him.
***
I was surprised when Oliver slid into the bench beside me. The bus driver yelled for everyone to hurry and sit down. We were behind schedule already.
“Any better today?” Oliver asked.
“What? My day?”
Oliver nodded. I snorted.
“Just peachy,” I said.
“What happened?”
“Well, Gracie wouldn’t sit beside me at lunch, and then after lunch, I opened my locker and a bunch of sand poured out everywhere,” I said.
“How’s that? You’ve got a lock,” Oliver replied.
“Apparently a bad one,” I said. “Or a kid who works in the office is tipping someone off.”
Oliver sighed. “Why don’t we just run away?”
I chuckled. “You and me? We’d kill each other. And anyway, what’s got you wanting to pack a bag and leave town?”
“Like I’d tell you,” he muttered.
“Well, you already have in a sense. You alluded to it.”
Oliver sighed again.
“Okay. Quit sighing and just tell me,” I demanded.
“I thought Kim wasn’t dating Daniel anymore,” he said softly.
“Ohhh.” I shifted in my seat. “Well, if it’s a rumor you heard, then you know it’s not true. Rumors seldom are.”
“They aren’t?”
“Am I a whore?” I asked.
“I don’t know. Are you?” Oliver asked, and grinned.
I punched his arm. “You’re such a butthead.”